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Yesterday, ClassicRocker said something that really resonated with me. Can't quote it exactly, but it was about people who can't or won't do what you have done and then can't help but get a little nasty about it (hope I didn't botch your intended message, CR). For CR, it was her Sister-In-Law.
For me, it was a woman I know who swears she wants to lose weight and is going very slowly (maybe a pound a month?), but refuses to make the real sacrifices to get there. We were out together and she said, "I shouldn't order that, but I will anyway." And I had to keep my big mouth shut.
I need to remember that we are all on our own journey and doing our best in our own moment. But it makes me sad to hear her complain when the weight is coming off so slowly. You can't have it both ways. You cannot continue to indulge in each and every, "I shouldn't, but I will!" and still get the results. If you shouldn't, then don't. Sheesh, it isn't rocket science.
But I'm learning to not be a nag and that I can be a friend and not be a judgmental, sanctimonious b*tch just because I'm doing well and she isn't really ready to commit to her weight loss yet..
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102.1 kg
Lost so far: 24.9 kg.
Still to go: 34.5 kg.
Diet followed: 100%.
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1085 kcal
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Fat: 13.43g | Prot: 89.21g | Carbs: 163.13g.
Breakfast: Arbonne Vanilla Protien Shake Mix. Lunch: Medifast Hearty Vegetarian Sloppy Joe, Medifast Hearty Peach Oatmeal, Starbucks Orange Mango Smoothie. Dinner: Great Harvest Bread Co Honey Whole Wheat Bread, Cottage Cheese (Lowfat 2% Milkfat), Claussen Dill Pickle Spears. Snacks/Other: Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino Light. more...
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steady weight
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1 to 20 of 23
 Comments
Yea, there is a quote. If you do what you have always done, you get what you you've always gotten. Meaning you need to be willing to work and make changes to see the changes in your body. But like you said, it's a solitary journey and we all have to decide for ourselves. Just keep going what you ae doing and be an inspiration.
24 Mar 14 by member: Suzi161
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my version of the sentiment is that 'insanity is continuiing to do the same things and expecting different results'. had a pt in the er yesterday who need surgery, but can't get it until her blood sugars are under control. she's noncompliant with her meds and doesn't test her sugars, but honestly can't understand why her sugars are staying so high. some people can't be reached and you've got to let them go their own way, even if you know it's not the right way.
24 Mar 14 by member: timconard
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Yes I agree so many people are looking for sympathy and all I say to that is look it up in the dictionary it is between shit and syphilis or my other one is excuses are lie assholes everybody has one and tey all stink.
24 Mar 14 by member: cyd69
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Good afternoon - watched the you tube video. - one word - AWESOME!
24 Mar 14 by member: Lynn1958
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My frenemy is like that..the one I posted about a couple of weeks ago. She will argue with me about how she cant/wont do anything I suggest but continues to whine and moan and gripe that she cant lose any weight. My sympathy is GONE for her.
I have lost weight because I have put in the work and the effort and committed to it. Period.
24 Mar 14 by member: notjune1
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Good for you for biting your tongue. While I'm sure it's gotten really old hearing her complain about the slow weight loss, probably the best way (or weigh!) you can help her is my setting the wonderful example that you are. You're absolutely right that for whatever reason, her journey is not yet ready or able to do the things neccessary to lose more quickly. Xoxox
24 Mar 14 by member: Ruhu
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I totally agree with Ruhu. Amd at the end of the day it sounds like your friend is loosing weight, which is better then going the other way 0.o You on the other hand are doing wknderfulnand setting a great example =)
24 Mar 14 by member: FitOKay
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You are all correct. And it's great that I held it in. This friend I spoke of is a yoyo. She loses 5 pounds, then gains back 4. When I said she was losing 1 pound a month, that's an average over a year, but the way she bounces around, well, it's her path right now.
24 Mar 14 by member: mrsmole
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My friend obviously was not paying attention...or she thought I was just so damn obese..she didnt start freaking out til I lost about 70lbs..then it was a snarky comment-fest. We are now in the same size. (hahahahhaha).
24 Mar 14 by member: notjune1
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I have many friends like that. I offer to help once then Im done and I try not to brag about my loss too much lol. Sure its mine and ive every right to boast away, but i love my buddies and dont want them downing themselves on my account. I guess when they really want it as badly as I did they will make the choices to lead them in the right direction.
24 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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I would like to complain about my "slow" weight loss but I am just happy it's happening at all. I know the slowness is caused by my unwillingness to choose absolute deprivation - and that's ok. Hoping for a lifestyle change I can live with - because we all know diets don't work! (or they don't work for me, because once "diet" time is over it's a binge) :)
24 Mar 14 by member: megmonster
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Notjune and Yolanda, it's like you were reading my mind! Meg, you're right that diets don't work, or rather they work, then they don't because we revert to old, bad habits. I now know that I can never "go back". Ever. Watch the speech I gave http://bit.ly/1iONcGo if you need to know what it feels like to know that "things will never be the same again. It's scary, but guess what? I chose to live. I do not consider not eating a candy bar a deprivation - I now see the candy bar like I would look at Rat Poison. It WILL kill me. Period. Once I started seeing sugar as a skull and crossbones, that was it for me. That was 182 days ago, but who's counting? LOL. Meg, pat yourself on the back for "slow". Slow WILL get you there!
24 Mar 14 by member: mrsmole
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you talking about me? (*lol*)
24 Mar 14 by member: puhpine
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Very kind and mindful thought- we're all in this together!
24 Mar 14 by member: Maffie13
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That drives me crazy. And it is always so hard to support someone who is doing a half ass effort.
24 Mar 14 by member: JeanineDS
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good job on being an understanding friend. You have such great heart and caring for your friend. The most difficult hurdle for me was getting an understanding of what it takes to be really successful. I am not so far from the time when I thought losing weight was so very difficult. And make no mistake, it is difficult and yet I have done things that took much more dedication, dealing with discomfort and even pain. I can now take the long view, know that I can stick with it to the end and choose my health over anything else (especially friends and family who want to be happy that I eat what they prepare for me). Many people who say they want to loose do really want to but have not figured out for themselves just what it takes and still think they are doing their best. The truth is it is their best in that moment. The best inspiration we can be is to do well for ourselves and then "when they ask" give the information to them each time they ask. At some point the may be ready to receive what they can't here just now. j
24 Mar 14 by member: JovialJ
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I think depression and low self esteem trigger a "why bother" attitude. This coupled with the addicting qualities of sugar make a deadly combination. I remember times when sneaking off to consume a whole package of Nutty Buddies was the highlight of my day.
24 Mar 14 by member: BuffyBear
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My friend's problem is that she is just self-indulgent. She told me there are things she just "can't resist". She tells herself these things instead of trying to figure out how to resist them, or figuring out that it's a conscious decision - one way or another. If she ever decides that it's "worth it" she will come around. But she's in her mid-60s and I'm not sure she will get there. She has 60 pounds to lose and at a pound a month, that's about 5 years? I guess she could do it but the joint issues she's having already, it's a close call. As we have all agreed - we are all on our own path. If she ever wants to know all my secrets, I'll share them all, including my Buddy list! LOL! You guys, all of you, are my Top Secret!
24 Mar 14 by member: mrsmole
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You are a damn good friend mrsmole, I dont know if I could share you guys :-)
24 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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It's about appreciating how people learn. I'm a guy. I tend to just blurt it out and try to fix things. Some people do need to be listened to for a while until they're ready to give it a go. Time for some song lyrics. The band was The Boomers. The song - the art of living. ***Once in a while, I'll see somebody 'bout to make the same mistakes as me - So I'll try to do something good and save them a little grief - I'll say - Hey, you, get away from that thing, it's about as hot as hell - They'll smile and thank me very much and then, go an touch it for themselves (Chorus) This is the art of living. This is the art of taking and giving.
24 Mar 14 by member: northernmusician
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