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I’ve had a hard two days! Yesterday, my best friend was shipped off to a mental hospital against her will – could be for days or months, or YEARS! I’m very sad. I did alright yesterday with my eating, did alright today (except that I had THREE Diet Cokes, and maybe only 1 glass of water) UNTIL about an hour ago. I WANT to eat everything in the house! Instead, I made myself a BLT on Potato Bread and had a bunch of Cheetos with it. I STILL want to go eat all the rest of the Entennmann’s Rich Frosted Pop-Em’s, or one of the Entennmann’s cherry pies.
My food diary has been very good for today. Excellent choices. But, I’m already at almost 2,150 calories WITHOUT THE SANDWICH OR CHEETOS, and I’m only supposed to have 1,625. So, I’m feeling like, “Why should I even care what happens for the rest of the day! HEY, cherries and chocolate go well together. The first bite of the mini-cherry pie was delicious. Now, let me see how it is combined with a chocolate Pop’Em. MMM. LOVE that crunchy chocolate! I’m kinda swooning here. Ok, there it is – the GUILT and misery, and I’m not even done CHEWING yet!
Anyway, as you may know, I’m a stress eater. I’m under stress. I’m available to my friend for calls day or night, and I WANT her to call me. Last night, I went to bed early (6:45pm) because she was still traveling, and I thought she might call when she got to Orlando. I woke up and talked to her for over 30 minutes, starting just after 11pm. We had been texting since 10:30pm, though. I ended up staying UP until 2am, then went back to bed until 4am, when I got up for the day.
I got a LOT of website stuff done today, but I’m still behind. Hopefully, I’ll get in another good “work” day tomorrow. (I also went through over 100 items of clothing and prepared them for giveaway, made Pecan Cream Cheese Pancakes, and entered it into the Cook Book, made Low-Cal spaghetti sauce with spaghetti squash, made fruit DIP (which everyone in my family LOVES to go with the big fruit bowl I made), went to the store for the Angel Hair pasta for my husband’s NOT low-carb spaghetti, visited with my twin friends for over 4 hours, and tried on a bunch of clothes to see if they fit me. A great day of accopmlishments – all negated by a mini-cherry pie and 9 Pop’Ems (which I’m not even going to put in my Food Journal.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe I’ll lose weight IN SPITE of my indulgence this evening. Maybe tomorrow will be a perfect day. It will be Wednesday, and then there is only THURSDAY to finish the week for the Swimsuit Challenge, and so far, I’m not doing very well. I really WANT to lose weight EVERY week on it. Maybe God will be gracious in spite of my disobedience. “GRACE” is: God giving us good things we don’t deserve or haven’t merited. “MERCY” is god NOT giving us the things we DO deserve for the bad things we have done. So, I guess for tonight and tomorrow, and until Friday morning’s weigh-in, I need His Grace AND Mercy.
I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I need this day to be OVER, and for a new one to begin. Going to bed now to make that happen.
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2147 kcal
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Fat: 165.15g | Prot: 49.75g | Carbs: 126.57g.
Breakfast: Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Original Pork Sausage Patties, Keto Rolls. Lunch: Walden Farms Calorie Free Pancake Syrup, Butter (Salted), PECAN CREAM CHEESE PANCAKES, Fruit Salad. Dinner: Rao's Homemade Tomato Basil Sauce, Adams Diced Onion, Jimmy Dean Premium Pork Sausage, Pearls Large Black Olives, Cooked Spaghetti Squash. Snacks/Other: Entenmann's Pop'ems Rich Frosted, Breyers CarbSmart Ice Cream Bars - Vanilla. more...
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1 to 20 of 29
 Comments
😞❤️🙏 I’m sorry to hear this. That’s so stressful. You’re good. Get back to it tomorrow.
26 Mar 19 by member: jcmama777
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My goodness. Very challenging day indeed. Prayers.
26 Mar 19 by member: FullaBella
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Thank you for posting this rough day. It is courageous to stop and take this personal inventory...it may not feel like it now...but look well to this day. You shared it. It is the renewal . Painful but understandable reaction...to stress. Keep coming here. We need you!
26 Mar 19 by member: Judyrose1997
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So sorry for your friend.
27 Mar 19 by member: Miraculum
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I'm sorry you are going through such a stressful patch Debbie. I know its hard but try not to medicate with food because the weight gain and disappointment will compound your mental state. Use that energy and take extra time for self care. A long walk, some deep breathing and meditation, a massage or a soak in a tub by candle light. Pray over it and make the decision to be strong. I know you've got it in you to take back the control. Happy Wednesday :)
27 Mar 19 by member: SwoleMateBunny
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Hope tomorrow is a better day, for you and your friend.
27 Mar 19 by member: shirfleur 1
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You do have both, His Grace and Mercy. "Dear Lord, please be with Debbie, and give her comfort and strength to handle this disappointment about her friend. And Lord please help Debbie as she minsters to her friend. We don't always understand the things that happen to ourselves and others, and we need You so very much as we travel this fallen world. Please give Debbie good rest, courage, and the quiet confidence only You can give. Thank you Lord for what you are doing in Debbie's life. She has been such an inspiration and help to so many of us, we thank You for her. In Jesus name, Amen".
27 Mar 19 by member: Snowwhite100
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God bless you for lending you heart out to friends. Take care of yourself.
27 Mar 19 by member: adamevegod1
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Thank you, everyone who responded. @LowCarbFemmeFit and @Snowwhite100, your words brought "liquid love" to my eyes. @Judyrose1977, your simple advice to "keep coming here" and encouragement that "we need you here," were both very special to me - as you are considered somewhat of a FatSecret Celebrity Success Story. Ok. wiping away tears now. Drinking my water. God was merciful to give me a good weigh-in this morning. Had it not been, the day could have taken a much different turn. I NEEDED the scale to be kind this morning! (Thank you, Jesus!)
27 Mar 19 by member: Debbie Cousins
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This past weekend our pastor was talking about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The one about will power grabbed my attention. I’m praying for my gift of will power. 🙏 I’m a stress eater too.
27 Mar 19 by member: njgirlinmi
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Hope you have a better day today. Nice job putting your energy towards clothe sorting, food prep, friendships and FS. Great antidotes. Dedicating yourself to your LCHF diet may help. Getting into ketosis favors the more inhibitory (Calming) GABA neurotransmitter in your brain. A new twist on stress eating.
27 Mar 19 by member: theVeggieCrusador
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Blessings for a better day.
27 Mar 19 by member: butterfliesrfree
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(hugz) I am also going through a 'stressful I want to eat'. What seems to work for me is 'acceptance' and 'surrender' to my 'mortal condition'. This is why I give in to my 'binge' but, limit it to only liquids. There is damage, but, yesterday I didn't gain weight. For me, this is the 'grace' in my life. When I recognize 'the grace/blessings' I feel 'gratitude'. 'Gratitude' is the highest spiritual place for me. Good luck!
27 Mar 19 by member: adefwebserver
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Can we talk???? Your guilt is as plain as the frosting on your face. You deal with it as I did, the food your eating is not for pleasure, it's punishment. If I gambled money away I shouldn't have my first stop would be BK. I would cry, kick myself in the butt and then go to the drive thru and order what I knew would do the most damage. You need to stop guilting/hurting yourself. Think of donuts as bullets, you are smart and sassy be that way with food. If you ever need to vent, find me. I'm on the net and with a name like Alnona, I'm easy to find. My love, support and admiration are yours always.🙋
27 Mar 19 by member: Alnona
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I’m so sorry about your friend.. all the willpower in the world can’t overcome an obesogenic environment . Are you able to purge some of those things from your home and adjust your world so it’s not constantly tempting you. You are on a quest for a healthier lifestyle— maybe put your environment on a diet as well. Good luck. I hope you can just continue to move forward.
27 Mar 19 by member: Kenna Morton
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Have you realised that your determination shines through this whole entry? We're with you honey. Try to make sure that you do something just for yourself today (easier said than done I know).x
27 Mar 19 by member: A&KPlot342AMyTime50
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I’m so sorry, Debbie. With everything going on with our sons I’ve been eating, too, to cope with all the feelings and the fears. I’m picking up our son from the mental hospital today as they’ve done what they can with his Bi-polar meds and getting him stable. I’m hoping that your friend gets the care she needs and that her stay is short. We’ve found that insurance likes to have people out of the hospital as soon as they’re stable, and has them participate in out-patient programs instead. So I hope your friend is home soon, and it’s good that she has you for help and support. I had to be reminded that God knows what’s best for our sons, and that He loves them more than I do. I believe God loves your friend and is watching over her and her needs, too. It’s just so hard to remember when you’re in the middle of things. You take care, too. 🌸
27 Mar 19 by member: laraae
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For those who are emotional eaters, the hunger of what is driving your emotions is displaced by physical hunger. So food fills the void. Know that it is perfectly normal to feel that way. You have lost nearly 40 lbs already. You are truly a capable person and are doing so well. I admire the progress you have made so far. You look absolutely beautiful! I also admire your resiliance in trying to find other ways to "fill up" as well as your vulnerability to share your story and be self-aware. If you are an emotional eater, keeping a physical mood journal may help. One side of the page you write down the destructive habit (ex. "I ate a carton full of cookies today" or "I went out to dinner and ordered too much from the menu") and then on the other side of the page write what you were feeling (ex. "I was reminiscing about a good time I had with my friend and now I am afraid we will not have those moments"). Then sit with it, sit with those feelings without doing anything. I do this exercise when I am feeling down to keep from avoiding how I feel - but have the opposite problem, I completely stop eating. Making plans and having something to look forward to is extremely helpful. Pamper your body and get plenty of rest! Take it moment by moment, one day at a time and know that you are human.
27 Mar 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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Hope your friend gets the help she she needs and come home and wishing you a better day today.
27 Mar 19 by member: Fishingwidow
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hugs and prayers for you and your friend ❤🙏
27 Mar 19 by member: sypop87
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Debbie Cousins's Weight History
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