gingin40's Journal, 20 Feb 15

Funny you mention this. I am 5'4 as well. Last time I weight myself I was 151 lbs. My boyfriend tells me all the time I do not need to lose a pound. But my mom says I gained so much weight ! (I was around 130 at my college graduation 2 1/2 years ago) SO I know what you feel. Just ignore it. No one can understand why you want to do things- such as losing weight but yourself. My own reasoning is because I don't feel right in my own skin right now. I want the excess fat off. I also want to feel and look healthier- and there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who say you do not need to lose weight might just be jealous and afraid to see you have success over them! Who knows!! Focus on yourself and your needs. Keep it up! 

I think we all went through the same thing. A major loss and people see an extremely thin person. Do what feels right for you. I was told at 185 I looked fine. I didn't feel fine. Felt the best at 165 and that's what I'm shooting for. 

Agreed, you know what you feel best at...so do for you :) 

I think allot of it has to do with how often you see those people while your loosing weight. I lost 25 pounds in 6 months. When I worked with people day to day, I heard only a couple comments. But the remote office I only visit once/month noticed drastic changes. Personally, my goal was 24 pounds, but somehow I made 25 pounds. For me, it is all about how I feel, and look healthy. I would just tell the people, thank you, I am just going to maintain, and went along my own business. Great Job, and just keep doing what you are doing! 

Are you losing weight for other people? Then why even begin to listen 

Yeah, I have the same problem, I, and my nutritionist think I should go down 10 lbs more, but Mom & Wife want me to stop. 

I heard that too even when I had viscous fat around my tummy... I just tell them "Thanks for their concern but it is a matter of opinion. I know what I am doing so if you think it please just keep it to yourself because I am happier than I have been in a long time." 

ignore them...just do you 

Focus on how you feel and what's best for you. Everything will fall into place - regardless of people's comments. It can be confusing ... I LOVE WHAT DRAGLIST SAID ... WHAT A GREAT RESPONSE - IT'S PERFECT! 

I'm with SDallyn - they are jealous. Go for the weight you want to be - 145 is far from anorexic.  

If you are working out, your body will look different than not working out. Check out a woman at 155 and then same weight with workout. Same weight, she looks like she lost 30 lbs on her workout weight. http://www.thankyourbody.com/lose-weight-toss-your-scale/ You may not notice how great you look if you are looking to get down to a number. Great that you have lost weight and look fabulous!  

Maybe they are intending it as a compliment? That they think you look good? More likely than not they mean no harm, just trying to be encouraging. People often don't think about what they say though. I'm 5'6" and I would be totally happy to be where you are now, but I understand that desire to get to what is generally considered the norm also. The important thing is that you are happy with where you are and are comfortable in your own skin...if you've got that, nothing else matters. 

They are just used to the old you, next to her you are looking thin to them. Congrats on the drop :-) 

It depends alot on your build and how fit you are. My goal is 170 even though I think the high end on the charts for me is 146ish. I plan to see how it feels and how I look when I get there and then decide if I want to go lower. If you really think you need to lose another 20 to be comfortable in your skin just tell them the doctor said you need to lose more to be healthy and leave it at that. In any case its a compliment that they think you look great. Congratz. 

Remember that the US idea of normal weight is slightly skewed. As in accepting slightly overweight as normal. When a European will tell you that you don't need to lose more weight that is when you can stop. There is also another thing - muscle mass. It weighs more than fat (almost double), so if you did exercise a lot you might have gained muscle mass and you do look thinner even if you are still slightly overweight. Try and use a BMI calculator for athletes. 

All that matters is what you think and what your goals are. Great work! 

This is a tricky situation. As a Registered Dietitian and formerly an individual with a BMI of 44, I've seen and experienced this myself plenty. This situation has nothing to do with YOU, but everything to do with how OTHERS are handling your changes. Many don't cope well with change. Many cannot understand it either. When you don't understand something, it seems that fear/concern is the natural response. They see you doing something great for yourself, but they are also concerned because your level of discipline and devotion is something they can't grasp on to. They are likely even afraid that you may be developing some practices that may not be healthy for you in the long run (more concern). So before you lose any more weight, the people in your life will intervene to give you validation with the hopes that it will make you feel good enough in your current state to no longer lose weight. From some, this kind of response can look something like jealousy, or even an attempt to thwart your efforts (sometimes others don't like to see so much success because it can even make them feel like less, given their situation of course) however you must maintain your own personal goals and know what is right for you, and to keep in mind that you may not be well understood. So often our friends, family, significant others are so accustomed to having us there in the capacity that they are used to. You'll always partake in food/drink. Your presence can be comforting for others in that you may not be physically intimidating (if you come from a big family, or have a large spouse, becoming "skinny" is a real 180 degree turn for these individuals). Ok, I think I just wrote a whole chapter, but this is a very specific and unique situation not every person experiencing weight loss goes through. Stay strong. In Health, Armen 

Armen.... thank you for the chapter. Very insightful and well expressed.  

Armen this is very helpful information. Any ideas on what to say to these "concerned" people? 

I have been dealing with this too. My husband and parents don't want me to lose any more, but I'm not quite where I want to be yet.