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Thursday - March 27th. Gloomy, rainy day today ~ but that's okay. I'm going to accept Mother Nature is getting a jump on the April Showers to bring May Flowers... or in the words of many of my buddies here, 'Fake it Til I Make It' and try to lift my emotions to match my recently discovered blood type of O-Positive.
Can one's blood type change over their life? I'm convinced for many years it was B-Negative leading to the attitude I carried about most things. I've never had a transfusion. Meh, just rambling.
Great 'therapy' session yesterday with my magician masseuse. I am always surprised by the random flashes of disconnected and unrelated memories that will pop up during the sessions when I manage to quiet my mind long enough to mentally relax. Some sad and some just flashes like riding the shuttle to the car rental or driving somewhere ... why these memories now?
Curious about this I surfed the internet and read at several locations the theory that 'body cells carry emotional memories' and many psychologists recommend deep tissue massage to help their patient release the physical pain that holds them back from mental recovery.
I agree but not just because I found a few articles that confirmed my theory. While I have always recognized my 'strength' and ability to survive the tragic situations I've encountered in my life, I am becoming more and more aware of how I've left those injuries 'untreated'. I've approached my soul, my core, my 'spirit' with all the nurturing of my junior high gym coach: "Eh, Bella, you wimp.. walk it off, give it some air ... you'll be fine."
And yes, I survived. But surviving is not living. It's just existing until the next episode comes along and I hold my breath wondering if it's the straw that will break my camel's back.
Maybe this is that lifelong feeling of always 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' or that sudden unexpected feeling of doom even when I'm having a great day. Maybe this is the reason for finally petting a camel in real life last week. Maybe this is all finally coming together including my decision to look upon the deep tissue as therapy more than a luxury. Maybe this is the time in my life where I heal those emotions I've carried as I just limped through my life. As MYA wrote the other day when I referenced an old saying 'Is Whatever's on the other side of that Brick Wall worth it?' - it's whatever I think it is and I choose to think it's happiness, serenity and peace. It may not require getting over that wall though. I may use it as a way to push off and go revisit my life and repair some of those injuries.
Okay, went off the deep end there a bit but another favorite saying of mine includes 'A Life worth Living is a Life worth Examining'.
ATF is going okay. I'm still recording and realizing I have probably maintained the same weight because I'm right at my activity vs consumption. Okay, not a genius thought but what I recognize is I was underestimating some of the calories consumed while I was practicing mindful eating. I'm alright with that - not gaining - but it's helping me review and reinforce the 150% RDI days are being balanced out by the 80% days.
But I do think more activity is on it's way. I had the oddest combination of items in my basket at Walmart. Spinach and bath salts, tennis racket and paint canvas, bird feeder and grass seed, mouthwash and crystal light (Sorry Yo), make up wipes and tennis balls, tuna and yogurt cranberries, art brushes and bird seed and more. It looked like I'd been on a scavenger hunt but was at least a little less weird than the 'vodka & toilet plunger' purchase that raised eyebrows a few years back. Yeah, weird combo. Depressed and constipated. Sorry, TMI.
With that, I think I'll sign off. My rambling has lost it's path.
Bella
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2251 kcal
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Fat: 115.60g | Prot: 100.36g | Carbs: 206.15g.
Breakfast: Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Caramel Macchiato Coffee Creamer, Spectrum Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Milk (2% Lowfat with Added Vitamin A). Lunch: Mushrooms, Nature's Harvest Yogurt Covered Cranberries, Wholly Guacamole 100 Calorie Snack Pack, Celery, Fresh Express Organic Baby Spinach, StarKist Foods Chunk Light Tuna in Water, Celery, Tomatoes, Hellmann's Mayonnaise with Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Dinner: Chicken Tortellini Soup. more...
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 Comments
Rain is good.... you don't have to scrape or shovel it and it cleans the air. Sure the sky may be grey but it is just a backdrop for the liquid sunshine. I'm trying to put a big positive spin on it here. I love the wild and crazy combo in your basket; nurture, nature, and beauty are all coverd. You have this, Bella! Rock it!! Onward.
27 Mar 14 by member: kclab
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I like your rambley journals...normal and real - how you always are. You will feel better once you're not constipated (too much - I don't think so!). It's awful not to be somewhat regular. Get that fiber and water in!
27 Mar 14 by member: Josie Ann
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Thanks for this great reminder. I am guilty of pushing through something tough but not repairing and making time to heal. You have such great awareness of your needs. Here’s to more rambling, it’s good for you (us).
27 Mar 14 by member: ChicaLean
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LOL. I usually pick up a bunch of random things while at Walmart. That's what's fun about that place - they have a little bit of everything :)
27 Mar 14 by member: ChristyLA
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Sounds like a great basket to me. I am scheduled for a facial tomorrow. I am hoping it will work like your deep tissue massage and they will peel away layers of yuck to reveal a new me underneath...or something like that.
27 Mar 14 by member: sharonfriz
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Your cells most definitely have memories - all the way to your birth (my opinion). I have been going to a chiropractor specializing in pressure point therapy based on that premise. Long story short, it enabled me to deal with the death of my nephew by finally releasing those emotions that I thought I had dealt with, but hadn't. It can be a long discussion, but rest assured you are on the right track.
27 Mar 14 by member: Lynn1958
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No Bella, rambling has no path. I'm B-Positive and admit it's difficult to live my blood type. Totally agree about cells holding memories. Each time I have a massage there's a release emotionally and I feel lighter mentally. Chiro's adjustments and pressure point massages also trigger happiness and a sense of well being.
27 Mar 14 by member: ClassicRocker
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O-neg wonder if we should explore the blood type diet?
27 Mar 14 by member: 2toofat
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Hi Bella, just stopped by to see what goodness you were up to. I'd be surprised if blood type could change, but let us know what you find out. Be well, my friend, and at peace.
27 Mar 14 by member: Helewis
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I'd rather see your cart in WalMart than a few others I've seen there, if you know what I mean! I really liked your journal back a couple days ago, when you wrote about people's journeys....being harder to lose 5 pounds than to gain it, being harder to lose 5 pounds than to lose 50, etc., and about being happy with wherever you land.
28 Mar 14 by member: Sandy701
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Hi Lady! B Negative made me chuckle! Every time I read about your massage I think about making an appointment to get one. You always make me think a little deeper about my life too with your journals. Thank you!
28 Mar 14 by member: Neptunebch
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I tried to reply to this yesterday. I had a wonderful reply all typed out... then I accidentally bumped the 'back' button on my phone at it was lost forever and every since ive just been so busy, so here goes :-) Im 'A positive' in blood and in life. The people around me dont make it easy thought let me tell ya lol. Usually your posts about the "therapist" make me want to book a massage of my own, but now im just scared. At least I know I can avoid the muscle memory... if the memories are locked up in my muscles lol. No need to open pandoras box for this chic.
28 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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Oh, and I still buy CL for my husband so its in my cart too lol, but thanks for the mention :-)
28 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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BELLA, I was going to send this to you in a PM but instead I opted for "public" in case others can benefit by it. The mentioned post of yours concerning the "brick wall" & my comment (as well as Yo's reply) to it show that you are not alone in regards to this topic.The question you asked yourself & the rest of us was "When did (it) begin?" or something similar to that is very significant. In this post you mention how you "approach your(self)with all the nurturing of your Junior High Gym Coach". Perhaps,if you really do believe that "a life worth living is a life worth examining",your Junior High years is where you should begin *your* "TREASURE-HUNT" :D I was told by the Neurologist that aided me during my "near mental breakdown" things that he could not have possibly known about *my* life,growing up,& approximately *when* it occurred just by his observations of my reactions to his questions.I was totally blown away by that!(This was my 1st time in his presence also)When I asked him in amazement:"How do you know all this?!" his rely was:" One doesn't need to be a doctor to recognize the symptoms of a person with pneumonia." :D
I do hope me putting this "out there" is not offensive in *any* way to you. If it is,please accept my apologies & know my aim is to help all of us.I love you Bella.
28 Mar 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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LOL! I don't know if the memories are really in the cells but I do know they are stored somewhere, I believe in our body/brain can't really separate on from the other. I work with babies, toddlers and their families. This work has taught me babies remember, even before they have language. So if massage helps release the pain I say keep it up! Our bodies and minds are amazing. And I believe we are never too old to grow and heal. We live until we die. I'm for making it a life worth living, every moment!
29 Mar 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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