Debbie Cousins's Journal, 01 Nov 19

Get it out of the house; it's consuming your imagination! 

Do you like coffee or hot tea? Even hot lemon water? Sometimes a warm drink feels so soothing... :) 

Hmmm, I realize you haven't actually asked for any feedback, maybe you just need to vent, which is helpful by itself. If that's the case, apologies. (insert totally unsolicited comment alert). If any of it might be helpful, maybe things you have already done. I did some therapy a while back with someone that did ACT Therapy, they have lots of metaphors, you can find them on YouTube, search "act therapy metaphors," the one called "The Unwanted Guest" is interesting. He kept reminding me of that particular metaphor, because I was always fighting my brain. I even gave names to the various guests at the party. The one guest in my head, the one I dislike the most, he's the unwanted guest for me, because he just wants to beat me up, very critical of everything. Passengers on a Bus was another one he kept bringing me back to. I was also thinking some more about a previous post. None of this would be considered a replacement for medical advice, therapy, or healing complicated depression, etc., and I don't know anything about you, so presumptuous of me to even make suggestions, but perhaps can bolster things, and maybe you've already thought along these lines. Can you get outside more, into the sun, Sunshine (natural vitamin D) and even vitamin D support have been found to help depression some. Is there any place you can go find some happy visual affirmation, feel good things. When I was depressed, I went to a big dog park many times a week, just sat in the sun, hung out and watched the dogs play. Dogs are always happy, they don't have many problems. It didn't cure me, but I needed to see that, often, it was regular visual affirmation, outside of the thoughts in my head. I needed to feel that energy, just to know that it still existed. Maybe, watch kids play in a park, etc. How's your gut health? Probiotics, fiber, plenty of water, etc. I saw a documentary where they were saying the intestines can play a very large role in moods, especially anxiety. There are 200 million nerve endings in the stomach, intestine area, that are very similar to nerve endings in the brain, the intestines contain 95% of the body's serotonin, inflammation has been linked to depression. A gut that is acting up or stressed out can cause all kinds of mental fall-out, poor serotonin levels, stress messages to the brain (https://www.healthline.com/health/dopamine-vs-serotonin). And lastly, exercise, just even a little bit of it, three or four times a week will help sometimes. None of those ideas are quick fixes, and I hope I didn't come off trite. My depression was very deep & complicated and just took time to heal, but the life-spirit inside of us eventually pulls us out. One day, I woke up and it was gone. Really. It just took time.  

If I was obsessed with something this much I would not allow it in my house. Not judging you over it because I used to be obsessed with potato chips. Had them with every meal even dessert! I allow myself to still have them occasionally. It was a very very very hard thing to quit.  

Is it possible that part of the problem is boredom? Could you do some volunteer work at a local hospital or library? Something that would get you out of the house and make the time pass more quickly? 💚💛💜 

Hang in there, Debbie. I hate days like these, and I hope yours went by quickly. Hugs to you. 🥺🎈 

Debbie read Gin Stephens Delay Do not Deny - a game changer for me 

I agree with Shir... you need to find something besides weightloss and diet to occupy your thoughts and days.You are a great example of many who have struggles in this journey to better health. All the best to you! 

Very kind and thoughtful comments. Thank you, all.