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It’s confession time, and I’ve been dreading this moment. I have failed you, my friends, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have to. Perhaps if I had done it 5 days ago, or four, or three, or two, or even yesterday – there would be no reason to have to do it STILL TODAY! I’ve been slipping. It started with a “day off” last Sunday. I’m not even going to look into my food journal to try to substantiate what I’m saying, or to figure out the specifics of everything.
I’m just going to say that, EVERY DAY since then, I’ve done something wrong. One day, I go the whole entire day keeping all of my macros perfectly in sync for a perfect report, and then get up at 11pm and intentionally throw myself way over on carbs. Another day, I make myself an actual BLT sandwich (because someone “has” to use that tomato!), and I take handfuls of Nacho Doritos to put on the plate with them – not counting them, or recording them. Another day, it’s finishing the Lunchable my grandson didn’t finish, eating cracker, and then later having an entire Asian Pear when the carbs aren’t there to cover it.
But, yesterday and today were the worst. Yesterday, I started out well – made myself an omelet with ham and cheese. For some reason, I got SICK after eating it, and lost it all into my bathroom trashcan. I went and took a nap after that, and when I woke up, I ate 6 saltine crackers with butter on them (because I “had” to see if my stomach was settled down). Yeserday was Birthday Party day. Instead of doing all the cooking, I changed the party to 3:30 and ordered Pizza Hut pizza. …And, I ATE Pizza Hut pizza – not one, but TWO slices. Not the thin ‘n crispy or the hand-tossed crust, but the PAN pizza. And, I had a piece of cake AND one of the ice cream cups. I got called out for an emergency for about six hours after the party, and when I got home, I heated up TWO more pieces of pizza and ate them, AND I had stopped at 7-Eleven on the way home and got a Dark Kit-Kat (king size) and ate the whole thing.
I forget when I let the ONE McDonald’s Diet Coke into the picture. Then, I had my husband get a flat of 35 from BJ’s, and I would JUST drink one a day, and ONLY after I’ve had my water. That only lasted one day. Yesterday, I DID get in my water, but I had TWO (or maybe even 3) cans. Today, I’m on my first can (or maybe it’s the second), but it’s late, and I probably won’t finish my water for the day.
Yesterday, I never even REPORTED anything into my Challenge Results (I don’t think I’ve EVER done that!) Today, I can’t remember if I recorded my breakfasgt - High-Fiber muffin and hot tea, but I know I didn’t record the Marie Calendar’s Chicken Pot Pie (to which I added carrots, green beans and corn). Just the pot pie is 61g carbs! And, I just tried those nachos using pork rinds as the base, and I didn’t even weigh ANY of the ingredients! I haven’t written ANYTHING in my Food Journal today, I don’t think, and I don’t WANT to write anything in it.
I’m in full-fledged temper-tantrum mode right now, and I don’t even know why. Yeah, my sister died 3 years ago (I used that excuse for a couple days.) Yeah, one of my relationships is in turmoil. Yeah there was the stress of throwing the party. But, NO – NONE of them are enough of an “excuse” to justify my actions.
The Bible says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed.” For those of you who believe in the power of prayer, I could sure use some right now.
View Diet Calendar, 09 February 2019:
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1670 kcal
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Fat: 139.83g | Prot: 76.11g | Carbs: 33.67g.
Breakfast: Walden Farms Calorie Free Pancake Syrup, Butter, High Fiber 1-Minute Flax Muffin. Lunch: Atkins Endulge Peanut Caramel Cluster Bar (Sugar Alcohols Removed). Dinner: Pearls Large Black Olives, Kraft Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Provolone Cheese, Hormel Black Label Fully Cooked Bacon, Kroger Pork Rinds. Snacks/Other: Coca-Cola Diet Coke (Can), Fresh & Easy Cashew Halves, Endulge Pecan Caramel Clusters (Sugar Alcohols Removed). more...
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