59Carol's Journal, 17 Mar 19

I don't know what to say about this drop. It is substantial. I hope that I maintain it. I lost my husband last Tuesday and for the first time in my life I am not eating to deal with anything. I am eating. I am exercising. I am drinking my water. Most days I manage to meditate. I am surrounded by my family and a network of loving friends.

I am focused on preparing for the funeral that is being held next Saturday with lots of help from my kids and my sister. I have been on the phone a lot. I find that I eat my set breakfast and then get around to lunch at some point later in the afternoon and have a snack at supper time and drop into bed.

Truthfully the world feels like a surreal place for me right now. I function normally with a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that Dave is on his way home and I will see him shortly while discussing calmly his last days with close people and deciding on which version of music he would have preferred.

My son got an old filing cabinet of ours opened. It had been locked up since 1986 from the look of the papers that were in it. My and my husband's letters to each other during two months that we were separated geographically from each other early in our courtship were in there. I have been slowly reading them. What insight I am getting into our young selves.

106.4 kg Lost so far: 15.4 kg.    Still to go: 29.3 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.

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1344 kcal

Fat: 41.22g | Prot: 51.33g | Carbs: 177.38g.   Breakfast: Tea (Brewed), Kombucha, Honey, Whole Milk, Poached Egg, Yam. Dinner: Breyers All Natural Vanilla Ice Cream, Apple Dessert Crisp, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables (Including Tomatoes and/or Carrots), Butter, Schwebel's Sandwich Buns, Great Value Potatoes Au Gratin, Pork Loin (Tenderloin). Snacks/Other: Tea (Brewed). more...

2944 kcal

Exercise: Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 5 minutes, Dance (square dancing) - 20 minutes, Stretching (yoga) - 30 minutes, Sleeping - 9 hours, Weight Training (moderate) - 13 minutes, Resting - 13 hours and 52 minutes. more...