debrafrederick's Journal, 18 Jan 24

Well. Because we are not 30 anymore you may feel like a fish out of water. Ive been in the gym off and on since i was 18 years old. I assure you people may note your presence and then move on. Many people will be silently rooting you on. Put your ear buds in, find something you want to listen to and you do you. Remember, the point is to get healthier and consequently that should make you happier as well. You have lived a lifetime and are entitled to the lifetime remaining to be its healthiest and happiest. We all are. Have you forgotten what a fantastic amazing kind generous loving woman you are?! Give that woman the exercise she needs and deserves. Picture this, the January 90 are there. That is the folks who come in for 90 days and quickly peel away and leave. Most will be gone by April. Don’t let you become one of those people. Have a smile on your face and be confident. They are all just humans with the same fears, anxiety and stress that affects everyone for various reasons. You’ve got this. Get back in there. 

you got this don't worry most people want you to succeed and we all started somewhere. hell part of the reason I built a home gym was because I didn't want that awkward feeling either. The reality is evry single person walking Into the gym for the first time felt exactly as you did today!! 

I agree with yearofhealth. When I was young and skinny and fit I would see people who weren't those things out exercising and I ADMIRED them. I read somewhere that many people over 50 give up so those of us who don't are special. By being there you are setting an example for the younger people. It is never too late to make healthy changes. My best friend died of cancer when we were 25. Her dad had a massive heart attack at a young age and he and her mom went on to live to be in their late 80s because they were out there walking and exercising every day. The new gym won't stay this busy. And you might call and ask them what would be a good time to come for someone just starting who might be shy of large crowds. Wish I were there. I'm not a gym rat but I would go there with you and show how the older girls do it. Hugs.  

Morticia is right, most of the people in the gym in January have made New Year's resolutions and may stay a few weeks. I'm lucky, when I went to a gym in 2020, before Covid, everyone was my age or older. Most people in the mornings were retired. No one paid any attention to be except trainers who asked if I wanted to come with a group learning to use the machines 

People that are judgemental are so into themselves that they miss the joy of success ! Keep on it you are working harder than those that are focusing on themselves . !  

Very true!!! 

As someone who goes to the gym 6 times a week, basically live there...I'm a gym rat, I don't pay attention to anyone else in the gym as I'm focused on my workout. if I do look over at another person working out...small, big, short, tall, older, younger, I could care less. I'm excited that you are taking your health serious. Just do your thing, do you. go rock your workout!  

Year of health has great advice. I use to work in gyms. If you took a tour with a sales person. Ask them how they will teach you to use the machines. They usually have a free orientation. That will help ya. If it's really too noisy. Get some ear plugs or wear your ear buds and listen to music you love to keep ya calm. Look at the class schedule. See if they have Silver Sneakers classes. They are fun and have some older people. Don't commit if you're not sure. Read the contract, see if it's a 2 year etc. Find out exactly how to cancel if it's not for you. Deep breath, really no one is looking at ya. Just like the grocery store. Just go do your thing. Ask for a few week.  

The last time I had that type of anxiety attack was about 2 months after I had my ostomy surgery. I was in the middle of the grocery store....and I had a code brown....my pouch has come loose and leaked....I was wearing white. I freaked out, abandoned my cart and practically ran to my car, I was dying of embarrassment and I just knew everyone was laughing at me. I though I was over that feeling that people were watching and judging me......years ago. But it took me very much by surprise today! I know people are so focused on their own crap that I am not even a blip on their radar.....My sensible side tells me this.....My reaction was so totally opposite of what my brain knows is a fact. I'm going to touch base with the folks who said they were going to join...find out if they did and see if I can reinforce myself with the buddy system. I was in town, drove past and just decided to go in, figured I would run in and join then come back prepared to work it....no planning or preparation....mainly because I had no idea that I would require planning or prep!!! I have been saying for years....."Other peoples opinions of me are none of my business!" WoW! That's called not practicing what you preach. I stopped in at 11:00 AM, probably hit the lunch break crowd. I'm going to find a buddy to go with me and get there around 8, after everyone has reported to work, but before lunch breaks start. We will try this again! Thanks OTB, it helps to know I'm not the only one uncomfortable with walking into a gym! YOH, Morticia, I know I have always admired the folks out trying to get fit and I have never mentally judged them for allowing themselves to get that far out of shape to begin with, so I have no idea why suddenly I felt like a bug in a jar and could not fight the impulse to flee. I appreciate your insights! I'm not 30 anymore...but today I felt like I was 12 again and walking out into the school gym for PE in the little shorts they used to give us girls to wear.  

I feel nervous at gyms too. Maybe join a class and/or see if they offer a free session with a trainer to help you shake off some of the nerves and get more comfortable. Also good if you can find times to go when the gym is less crowded. It’ll be better when all the New Year’s resolution people fail and give up 🤣 and FWIW no one ever looks at or notices us nearly as much as we think they do. Everyone’s absorbed in themselves and their own little world. Find your rhythm, do your thing. 

I know what you mean and maybe possibly join a class with a small amount of people to get started. I actually belong to a private gym that you pay a monthly membership fee and you have a set time 3x a week that you go in. My workouts are planned for me but there are always anywhere from 1 -15 people working out with the two trainers there. I remember being so scared when I first started and I thought I was going to throw up! Once I got started I realized that noone really pays attention becasue those that are there to work are focusing on their form, getting their reps in and listening to the trainers. You got this! I was very lucky that my class is at 4 pm which is a small group so while I was learning the trainer could spend a lot of 1 on 1 instructing. Now that I am in year 5 I feel more comfortable if I do go to a 7 am class where there are 15 or more listening to the two trainers. Also just so you know I thought the warm up was going to kill me and it was only just that a warm up to the actual work but I am so glad I did it and I just make sure when I see new people come that are thinking about the gym I tell they you won't regret this! We are all beginners at some point!  

just remember those fit people you see also have their own insecurities and they are probably not even paying any attention to others in the gym. The only time I ever pay attention to anyone else is if they are doing something amazing like a girl I use to see that ran backwards on the treadmill. Just remember you are there showing up for you and no one else. There are some body building gyms near me I would never walk into because its just not my thing. I like places like Planet Fitness, its cheap, it has everything and there are all kinds of people there on different places in their fitness journey.  

just remember those fit people you see also have their own insecurities and they are probably not even paying any attention to others in the gym. The only time I ever pay attention to anyone else is if they are doing something amazing like a girl I use to see that ran backwards on the treadmill. Just remember you are there showing up for you and no one else. There are some body building gyms near me I would never walk into because its just not my thing. I like places like Planet Fitness, its cheap, it has everything and there are all kinds of people there on different places in their fitness journey.  

When I lived in Lansing, I used to go to a fitness center/gym that had a pool. I was self-conscious the first time but not the second because on that visit, a new member came with obvious difficulty and in truly life-threatening level of morbid obesity. I would guess her weight at 450-500 pounds. She came to use the pool. And yes, she too had to walk, canes and all through the large gym filled with young strong bodies. Yes, people looked at her but not one person sneered, laughed, or rolled their eyes. I think we all had the same basic reaction: What courage and determination she displayed in a society where so often it would/could have been so different. She taught me right then to just do what I needed and wanted to, to get healthier. We gals in the pool just watched out for her.  

easy, it's mindset. kudos for even showing up, keep doing that. next is understanding is realizing that you're the big cheese walking in (that at least works for me). 

I’ve worked out at home for the past 2 years using dumbbells, YouTube, and Instagram WOs. I purchased the dumbbells at Walmart. I find it more peaceful and calming. But, I’m considering joining a gym this summer. I’m ready to lift heavier and still deciding if I want to invest in heavier weights to have at home (and store) or just go to a gym where everything is there. Although you have to share equipment at a gym and if it’s busy, that would be a turn off for me. I’d probably look on-line to see when was the slowest customer times for that gym. Businesses usually post that information or I’d call and ask. I’m probably not going to join a gym but if I did, I’d ignore the others and FOCUS on my health. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Easier said than done though especially if young, buff 💪🏻 people were surrounding me!! 

You create your own respect in the gym, and it is NOT about how you look, it is about how hard you work, and how courteous you are to others. Read about gym etiquette, read about proper gym attire, read about proper form. Once you’ve gained the proper knowledge, go in there, put your headphones on, put your head down and go to work. You WILL gain respect. When I see someone working to make a change, I go out of my way to give them a fist bump. The ultimate show of respect in the gym. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but nothing worth doing in life is ever easy when you start. Push through and you’ll be happy you did. I believe in you. 

Find a good set of noise cancelling headphones and walk in there like the queen that you are! Show those kids how it’s done. You are strong. You are beautiful. You GOT THIS. 

Those young fit people had to start somewhere. They weren't always fit. You could always try going when it is less busy. 

Debra no need to worry, Its is very true end of January has a huge drop off in gym memberships. They sell way more memberships than people attend. If 60% of the people they sold to showed, thease owners would be in huge trouble. Years ago I saw data in Tampa Bay Business Weekly on how many gym memberships were sold, it was amazing, if they had 4 shifts and everyone showed up, they would NOT have the room for them!!!! But another good FS member suggestion, look at hospital/ or 55+ small groups, gyms ect. Apt gyms, Spa gyms ect