BuffyBear's Journal, 24 Mar 15

John does the same thing... Such tempting items. Most times I can ignore it... once in a while I am weak..  

Dboza - the goodies didn't even bother me. HE just had a stent put in his heart and HE is supposed to be eating better! Best that I keep my mouth shut.  

Yeah, you can only be responsible for you. Hopefully he'll come around and realize changes need to be made. Heart stents on top of some other issues finally gave me the motivation needed to change my life. 

It's a decision he's got to make. BIL did the same thing with his diet and still smokes.  

Lead by example! Show him you can be healthy and still eat good food. He also could be well aware he needs to change but is not quite ready to accept it. 

Yes, good attitude. You gotta take care of yourself. Hopefully, he will see how amazing your look and feel and want to do it too. 

I'd be worried about him too. Have you given him the "Dammit I want you around!" temper tantrum? I used to use it with limited success with Terri to make her manage her diabetes. Sometimes I don't think they realize how scared we get. 

Nich.... As with any health issue, sometimes they have to hit a bottom first. And sadly, the bottom doesn't come for some people. 

When I came home from the hospital after the first stents were put in I had mixed emotions, I guess just lots of emotions. At first was very motivated to make changes but didn't stick with them. And thinking that I was "fixed", now that the stents were in. A year later - having had times of chest discomfort and a stress test showing more blockage it was back in the hospital for 2 more stents and one artery branch that couldn't be opened back up. Another year later, more health issues, and I finally wised up and started making changes. Just saying, us guys can be really hard headed. It may take some time for the reality of it to sink in...for me it was a process. 

You can only help those who want to help themselves ... 

AWW Buffy, jmb has experience here. maybe he can shed some light and help you out. Stick to your plan for you.  

I really appreciate all your comments. You guys are great! @jmb - am very thankful you "wised up".  

My husband brought three 16oz apple ales home yesterday because of a stressful day at work. My initial reaction was to be upset because he wants to work at his health, and I feel like he's sabotaging himself. After some pondering I've concluded that maybe that was just what he needed in that moment. The majority of us use food for comfort, anxiety, stress relief, and giving that up cold turkey isn't easy. There will be slip ups, poor decisions, and sometimes all out binges. Maybe your husband is struggling with the idea of his own mortality, and just isn't quite ready to face it. You keep doing what your doing, keep healthy choices around, prepare those healthy dinners and be real with him about the stakes of poor eating. Try to be empathetic, we all know how hard it is to commit to a new WOE. :) You're doing everything right, he will come around. 

Yolanda - good point!  

It's a tough journey to change a lifetime or many years of a way of doing anything. That commitment to change has to be his. I know I needed that push and threat of what was to come to actually commit to myself to changing and it has been an up and down journey. Also change is threatening to many people, had a class on that a couple years ago, it was interesting. Let him know that you are concerned about his health and that you will support him but not baby him. Any little changes he can commit to and stick with will be progress on his journey. Baby steps, many baby steps along the way are good..