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Weight will probably be up again in the morning - another 3,000+ calorie day today. I have already planned an actual KETO day for tomorrow, though. Menu all planned out to stay within my RDI for Calories, achieve my Fiber Goal and keep my Net Carbs under 30. If I'm able to stick with my menu precisely, I will have 66% Fat and only 12% Carbs. It will be the first day I have been on Keto in several weeks. I've planned in snacks (because I've been used to eating all day every day), but they are things like mozzarella pearls, string cheese, CarbMaster Yogurt with Pecans. Even WITH the snacks, I will still be within my Calories - which will be a first time in more than a week. Several days have been over 3,000 calories! I was back up to 188 this morning. Guessing I will be 189 in the morning. That's my Hot Zone -- getting dangerously close to entering into the 190's again (which is only 10 pounds away from the 200's!) I can't go there.
I'm still very depressed. Haven't taken a shower for a week. Taking two to three naps a day, just to give myself a reprieve from the uncontrollable eating. My friend will have been in the "inpatient mental facility" for FIVE MONTHS coming up next week! There is still no prospect of when she will be coming home.
I've been keeping the kitchen clean, but that's all I've been doing around the house. Didn't go to church again today. Still not "well," but I'm going to try really hard to turn things around tomorrow. Any prayers would be appreciated, as I've been eating copious amounts of garbage foods lately, along with some good things such as fruits, which I will miss -- especially the CHERRIES! - But, I've been eating 60+ cherries a DAY, and they're expensive, and they make me want other sweet things like the Tapioca pudding I've been making, and salty things like the Tostito Scoops of which I've almost single-mouthedly consumed the whole Party Size bag in the past couple days.
Things have GOTTA change! I'm scared. I don't think I can change my course without divine intervention bordering on the miraculous! I know that God is still a miracle-working God, and I'm praying, but I still have my doubts. Lord, increase my faith!!!
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3112 kcal
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Fat: 185.42g | Prot: 120.99g | Carbs: 258.83g.
Breakfast: Vitafusion Fiber Well Sugar Free Gummies, Oscar Mayer Center Cut Bacon, Eggland's Best Large Grade A Eggs, Kraft Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese, TAPIOCA PUDDING. Lunch: Taco Bell Chalupa Supreme - Steak, Jell-O Chocolate Pudding Cups, Cantaloupe Melons, Cooked Spaghetti Squash (Fat Added in Cooking), Rao's Low-Carb Spaghetti Sauce. Dinner: Smucker's Strawberry Jam, Butter (Salted), Skippy Extra Crunchy Super Chunk Peanut Butter, White Bread, Grapes, BelGioioso Fresh Mozzarella Pearls, Atkins Frozen Meatloaf with Portobello Mushroom Gravy. Snacks/Other: BelGioioso Fresh Mozzarella Pearls, Butter (Salted), Ritz Crackers - Fresh Stack, Atkins Endulge Chocolate Coconut Bar (MINUS Sugar Alcohol), Tostitos Scoops! 100% White Corn Tortilla Chips. more...
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 Comments
🙏💛🙏. I'm sorry things are still tough. I think if you stick with keto macros at least for the 3 days it takes to get into ketosis (not worrying about calories in those 3 days just getting into ketosis ), your hunger and appetite will subside and you'll be back on track before you know it ☺. Wishing you well and keeping you in my thoughts 💟💟💟.
18 Aug 19 by member: znastar1
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Ah Debs, I really feel for your anguish. Swan around on DietDoctor for a while, perhaps join the two week challenge, maybe take up knitting which keeps your hands and mind busy. Hugs and prayers.
19 Aug 19 by member: janetofnq
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I'm praying for you and hope you feel God's strength pouring into you.
19 Aug 19 by member: metamora
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Hoping you have a good day today. You deserve it.
19 Aug 19 by member: liv001
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Here's to a successful Monday for both of us. Stand strong my friend.
19 Aug 19 by member: jeannieselby
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I find if I eat no starch I can lose a little bit more!
I need to stay away from popcorn
19 Aug 19 by member: rosemarysoule54
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I am right there with you. Every word. I know what it takes to do the right thing and everything in me would just rather crawl in a whole. And it's just makes me more aggravated with myself. Which just makes me want to eat... again. I'm sorry about your friend. It's hard to deal with yourself when things around you are out of balance. You have my prayers.
19 Aug 19 by member: Bodybeautiful870
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Very well said bodybeautiful. Yes Debbie many of us understand perfectly well what you are experiencing right now.
19 Aug 19 by member: liv001
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Debbie, you're in my prayers, as is your friend. Have you thought about talk therapy with a Christian psychologist or licensed clinicsl social worker? Cognitive behavioral therapy addresses current issues instead of going "way back." It might help you with practical coping skills.
One technique I learned years ago:
-- Call to mind a very specific day when you felt perfectly happy, at ease.
-- Bring forward to your consciousness as many of the pleasant sensory impressions around that experience that you can.
-- Recall all the people around you, your warmest feelings about them, and the positive conversations.
Now, whenever you choose, bring this complete memory to mind and spend time in that place.
It's really worked well for me!
21 Aug 19 by member: Miraculum
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Praying that you find the strength to overcome these unhealthy urges. Remember, you are not alone, He is walking beside you. 💜💚💛
21 Aug 19 by member: shirfleur 1
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I’m thinking your downward spiral started when your friend went into the hospital/institution. Would she approve of your behavior? What can you do to change what you’re doing? What would your friend want you to do? Continue to spiral til you hit bottom or activate the fruit of the spirit which is self control? If we walk in the spirit, as we are supposed too as Christians, we can control our choices. The word of God says so, whether we believe it or not. Praying you stomp your heel on satans head and say ENOUGH!! He’s given you the power to do so if you act in faith. 🙏🙏
23 Aug 19 by member: wifey9707
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Debbie Cousins's Weight History
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