Kenna Morton's Journal, 10 Oct 18

Not everything can be fixed - death of a loved one, for example 😢  

Death cannot be fixed, but you do have to learn how to find solutions to immediate and future issues— money, taxes, wills, disposition of belongings, home care and repair, car repairs., children. All those mundane things that suddenly become simultaneously pressing issues. You still have to figure out how to continue to move forward— the alternatives would be grim. Been there done that. 

OH BOY! Do I know that only too well! My issue has been taking care of all the stuff and not being able to grieve! After 18 months I am still waiting for that to happen. I think it might hit hard when it does! In the meantime I have found the power to get rid of this weight. The mortuary couldn’t fly her home in her casket - she weighed too much! I feel her energy around me cheering me on! I miss her!💜 

Amen! 

Speak the Truth - YES! 

That's a pretty harsh statement for people who are grieving a loss 

When things happen -- good or bad -- you just have to allow yourself to totally feel it, accept and integrate it and then you let it pass through you. Of course some things are just plain big and those ones you have to allow the emotions to flow through you over and over. The harder it is to let it flow through the more often you will have to face it until you can feel peace as it is flowing through. Sounds hokey but it works. I also believe that each of us have a creative mind that allows us to choose next steps and then own those steps. But the choice is on your own terms. The tough part is when a person falls into the habit of thinking there is no choice. There is always a choice. Step one is identifying the situation and then thinking of all the different choices one can make including not making any choice at all. Then choose what is best for you. For example, when I had breast cancer I had to deal with the bald head. No choice if I was following the regimen my head would be bald. What I did with that was up to me. I don't like hats or scarves never did - I barely tolerate gloves! So what to do? I ended up deciding that a bald head was a big blank canvas. I had a lady do a henna tattoo on it. Henna tattoos last 6 weeks which is how long it is between treatments. So I would get a tattoo the day or two before my treatment and go in with a new design. It would wear off over the 6 weeks. New one! Perfect. My choice and my solution. Fit me to a T. I would have been a lot less happy if I had believed that I had no choice but the turban plan as that plan would not have suited me at all. 

Personal responsibility...I am responsible for me today. Thanks for the awesome post!! 

Kikibee—I’m very sorry for your loss. that must have been horrible for you. I’m glad you are not going to let history repeat itself and leave those same memories for your own children (if you have any). Regardless, it is tough to lose someone you love. Try focusing on the happier memories.  

Thank you for your very kind words! Only good memories are left which envelope and guide me each and every day! Losing her has given me such powerful lessons and perspective!