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I've tried writing this journal a dozen times over the past few weeks. Every time I did, I've deleted it. I'd read others' journals dealing with health issues and surgeries and loss of family members and I feel horrible for even talking about this. Even this one I've rewritten several times, watered it down, cried.
I was brought up that mental health is just a fleeting moment... "it'll pass", "it's not that bad", "everyone gets sad". I hate those phrases. Nails down a chalkboard to me.
Mental health has always been an issue for me. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, as well as a few personality disorders, very early in life. I've struggled ALL my life with it.
I can mask it for so long, but there are times, August for instance, when I just can't. I spent a lot of energy fighting my mind, which I think is why I was nauseous most of the month.
I'm not 100% back, but I'm not plummeting towards 0 anymore. My family keeps me fighting and with their love, I'll get there.
Take care, my FS family. (((HUGS))), Love & Support.
View Diet Calendar, 07 September 2023:
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1367 kcal
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Fat: 114.04g | Prot: 67.03g | Carbs: 17.69g.
Breakfast: Monster Zero Ultra (Can). Lunch: Pork Belly, Butter (Salted), Johnsonville Original Breakfast Sausages, Fried Egg. Dinner: Dressing Greek, Dressing Tzatziki, Cos or Romaine Lettuce, Cucumber (with Peel), Tomatoes, Red Onions, Tre Stelle Feta, Chicken Breast. more...
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2337 kcal
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Exercise:
Shopping - 40 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 49 minutes, Cooking - 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 16 minutes. more...
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 Comments
Never water down anything for anyone. Your mental health matters and the fact you are willing to talk about it speaks volumes. I too suffer from PTSD and depression. it's never fun fighting a battle in your head. I hope you post more and speak openly about your mental health because honestly talking about it really does help. Big hugs hun 🤗 I feel your struggle and am here if you need to chat any time day or night. you can even private message me on here to chat so not everyone can read what's going on. Just got to use the computer web version to send messages.
07 Sep 23 by member: •°•♡Erin♡•°•
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sending you much love. you are fighting a good fight and you will win. keep talking about your feelings. we are always ready to listen.
07 Sep 23 by member: Darlene914
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Mental health IS health. Your suffering is as valid as anyone’s - what you have is an exhausting, horrible disease and I’m so sorry you have to live with it. Sending all the positive vibes and love as you continue to find ways to prioritize yourself and your health 💕
07 Sep 23 by member: Healthycurves2023
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Sending kind thoughts & positive vibes. Sad that mental health issues are stigmatised. 🌹
07 Sep 23 by member: PrairieSue
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(((HUGS))) I've been there most of my life myself. One of the best prescriptions is self-care. Start putting yourself first sometimes, and also... https://paintedbrain.org/blog/lifestyle/weightlifting-for-mental-health-improvement#:~:text=Among%20many%20positive%20effects%2C%20studies,Dopamine%2C%20Noradrenaline%2C%20and%20Serotonin.
07 Sep 23 by member: ZenusWarriorPrincess
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It is exhausting trying to pretend you are ok, when you are not, the requirements for our jobs to always be cheerful and positive when around customers and co-workers makes going to work doubly difficult. The questions and concern for an unsmiling face from friends and family makes you want to isolate even though you need the human connection more than ever. Folks say, you seem down, whats going on.....you know they wont understand whats going on in your head, if you could even explain it to them. Sometimes you just need to sit quietly with someone you love while the mental noise goes by. Like most things it comes in waves and you sometimes need a bouy to anchor you till it passes.
08 Sep 23 by member: debrafrederick
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For me staying in ketosis is essential to my mental balance. When I eat carbs, I drift into depression. I notice that though you've had a bad month, you've continued to lose weight, so that's a plus. I'm wishing you well, and I'm so glad you have supportive family around you.
08 Sep 23 by member: erikahollister
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Thanks guys. My head is a scary place. It's dark and vicious. I honestly have lost count of the number of times I've attempted, my first I was around 7. I've had 2 near fatal, technically fatal but brought back by ER doctors & nurses. Mid August was another night in ER. The guilt of hurting my family and the intense emotional pain I feel fight each other constantly. Most times the guilt wins and I can work through the thoughts. Other times, the pain is overbearing and I want it all to end. My husband will drop everything during those times, even to the point where it's a bit overwhelming to me. I do my best to stay in the "now" and deal with what's happening currently. Sadly, my brain doesn't always work that way, even with decades of therapy. One day at a time, that's all I can do. HUGS.
08 Sep 23 by member: CarbAbuser
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Definitely one day at a time hun ❤🥰❤🥰 hugs
08 Sep 23 by member: •°•♡Erin♡•°•
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*hugs* I'm glad that other people sharing has given you confidence to also share. You're managing your health the best you can with love and support around you.
A super simple trick I use is to stand straight, breathe deeply, and smile for about 2-3 minutes. When I was dancing, this exercise improved my mood a lot. My sister cold plunges, but I'm too wimpy. I'll put a cold compress on my face :)
FS is a special community. Don't be afraid to take advantage of the perks!
08 Sep 23 by member: chowsr123
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Mental health is just as important as physical health, and certainly can affect our physical health. I'm so glad you have a good support system around you. Keep your head up and keep fighting the darkness.
08 Sep 23 by member: rhontique
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Dear carb. You are very brave to post this. If more people were honest like you, more people would succeed like yourself. So proud of you for your strength to fight this battle. Praying for you. Really. I’ve seen people set free from these struggles. My hope is that one day you will also. Here for you always. Just a pm away. Please don’t hesitate. We all need each other. ❤️🙏🏻
10 Sep 23 by member: wifey9707
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Thanks all. You have no idea how much these comments have helped (even if I did use an entire box of Kleenex reading them).
11 Sep 23 by member: CarbAbuser
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