FullaBella's Journal, 03 Sep 13

"You are a sparkling spirit that lights up the world around you, a nurturing heart shaping kindness and comfort, a presence of goodness and peace, for whom I give thanks every day." This is on a flower pot I found at the market several months ago - about the time I initiated the Refrigerator Reform Act in Bellawood. It was on the $1 shelf and I just knew it was a mistake when I picked it out. I was wrong. The beautiful grey clay pot weighs about 5lbs and I have picked up at least six more of them on random trips to the market. They are scattered throughout my house holding paint brushes, kitchen utensils and more. I love them and my $7 investment for a daily reminder to love myself.

September is starting out to be one of those great months. You know those, right? One's that start out so well that you just want to go back to bed before something screws up & sucks the joy out of it? I've had three great days in a row ... a hat trick of good as seemingly random events all fell perfectly in line as if planned.

My backyard was a ballet of beauty this morning as the birds and butterflies danced among the flowers and vines. Everything is blooming so well maintenance is minimal. I've pushed my 'church' into new level by using my time to read my daily bible and journal my gratitude's out there as I relax in the lounge chair with Mushy.

Homemade beef fajitas with all the trimmings for lunch today. I picked up the ingredients yesterday when I walked to the market for milk. After prepping everything last night I was still in a cooking mood and made cinnamon rolls for the first time ever (not from a can) and baked them for breakfast this morning. Yes, I had two. And yes, I was very hungry again within an hour as a breakfast of simple carbs and sugar does not bullet proof me for very long. So the fajitas were welcomed in a big way.

In fact, I think I've had more sugar this weekend than I had the entire year preceding it. Sunday I made a killer chocolate pie for my grandson's BD. I layered white, dark & swirled chocolate on an Oreo cookie crust with chocolate kisses on top. And yes, I had some. Yesterday I had a slice of pistachio pudding pie. But luckily, I'm not jones'ing for any more sugar. It's done.

The scale continues it's 5lb bounce up and down. I'm either plateaued or at a set point. I'm sure forgetting my BP meds for about two weeks didn't help. Not sure what happened there but it's been corrected. Whew.

If the plateau doesn't break this month I may return to recording my food to do a calorie count again to get a CICO perspective to verify the set point OR just try skipping the nightly cheese snack a few days at a time. I have been playing a little fast & loose with the mayo too. All good fat but maybe too much fat? I think the daily lunch of tuna (normally) is giving me a good healthy protein balance otherwise even my skinniest jeans wouldn't still button, right?

I have decided I was setting myself up for a self fulfilling prophecy by saying 'year two will be the hardest' as last week did indeed seem so hard ... every day felt like a struggle, every food a temptation. And with that struggle I'd eat less and less while wanting more and just ... you know the viscous cycle.

So I've decided I'll now follow the sign my friend gave me that read 'sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.' Faith Cruise II now boarding.

Bella

79.8 kg Lost so far: 49.4 kg.    Still to go: 0 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.