Wow! The past couple of days have been Wonderful!
Sunday I woke early and started arranging the living room for the sofa delivery; about an hour into it I had a mental meltdown worrying about getting it through the doors. Color me happy that it fit. I’ve truly enjoyed using it as well as it gave more seats for Blondie’s crew when they came over that evening.
All things food were really GREAT the past two days with several small victories.
When Blondie’s crew helped deliver the sofa to me I mentioned I’d cook dinner but then I had an energy sag and said ‘here’s cash, order pizza, bring me one’ but then the memory of joining the soon to start ‘no more binge eating’ challenge flashed in my head and I said ‘gimme the cash back, I’ll cook.’ My renewed mojo and I walked over to the store.
I served a pork roast, whole kernel corn, glazed baby carrots, mashed potatoes, flakey biscuits, brown gravy using the broth from the roast, and a homemade peach cobbler. I used my small plate (like I used when I was more mindful about my portions) and ATE slowly and did NOT overeat. Huge victory - eating with Blondie and not overeating. I did have a serving of the cobbler but sent the rest home with them.
No snacking at bedtime (two nights in a row now!) So happy about that because I’ve been really binge snacking in bed. After enduring horrid acid reflux Saturday night thanks to scarfing down not one but TWO huge cookies (500 cals!) Saturday night I am relieved. One day at a time. One night at a time.
I slow cooked spare ribs for dinner last night. They were so tender they fell off the bone. The side was broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and mushrooms stewed in the broth from the ribs. Blondie came over to watch a few episodes of The Blacklist with me and had some dinner too. I did not EAT constantly as I would have in the past with her here. An apple for dessert and that was it. No bedtime snacking again. Yay!
I’ve been adding more vegetables to the spinach protein smoothie I sip through the day. Last week I added celery and cucumbers. Yesterday I added carrots. It wasn’t as sweet but not intolerable.
I had a whole lightbulb moment on ‘playing by the numbers’ this past week. I knew after the acid reflux I’d been overeating, too much, too late, etc., and decided for extra punishment I’d weigh. I wasn’t stunned at the higher number and I told myself it was likely water weight in the leg muscles after all the dancing and walking. Sunday night after the mindful dinner and no unmindful snacking I dropped that water weight in the bathroom.
I'd been a little sad that my pants from last winter were uncomfortably tight but did not want to reach colder temperatures without a plan other than ‘starve & squeeze’; I wanted to be comfortable. I hate trying on clothes in store but noticed whether one size up or three all of the pants seemed the same when laid on top of each other. I took 3 different sizes.
In my usual ‘go ahead, punish yourself’ approach I tried on the largest pair first. They fit. I gave myself a ‘don’t lose your mind’ talk and moved on. Then I tried on the next pair a size smaller. They fit the same. Then the third pair 2 sizes down - same thing. Same Fit. Weird, right? So then I laid the smallest size on last years pants and there was a huge difference. Maybe they really did shrink after too many washings.
Spoiler alert: gal talk this paragraph. I like wearing a long line posture bra; it reminds me to stand straighter and suck in my stomach muscles giving them a workout. But the ones I had were starting to constrict me. More evidence of a mass gain in the abdomen? Regardless, as with the pants, I didn’t like that fit, so I reordered one but forgot to change to a larger size. Darned Amazon and easy reorder process. The new one in the old size arrived last week - it fits loose! So either they are making them larger or they are the same size and my old ones shrank; like the pants? I don’t know.
I guess this whole rambling is about not taking everything at face value or measurement of scales and tags. Be gentle, happy, comfortable and mindful of health and eating. I know and accept I have gained some ‘fat’ weight. I’m working to take that back off. But I want to be comfortable and clear headed as I proceed.
Some people may think Feng Shui is all hooey but I really felt so energized this morning walking out and seeing my living room look like a living room instead of a doctors waiting room (it only had three chairs when Cutty was alive; his, mine, and a very uncomfortable one so visitors wouldn’t tary. I added a fourth chair the past few months but HATED the look. I felt like any minute now someone would call my name and tell me ‘the Doctor will see you now’.
I’m so very happy with the feel and flow that I walked into my shop with renewed ambition. I decided to take The Money Pit off the market for now. I am going to start scheduling my own events out of it (collectables and craft shows) as well as promote it as available for renting.
Normally, on Thanksgiving, Cutty and I provided dinner for both shifts of the Police Department working that day. We (I) would contact the Chief, ask how many personnel scheduled each shift and would order meals at Cracker Barrell then I’d drop off prepaid gift cards so when they took their break they could go by and pick up their dinner.
I got it in my head to serve them myself this year. The venue I’m leasing for Cutty’s Memorial Service neighbors the Police Station. But the organizer wouldn’t give me a break on the fee even for the police department so I said ‘forget that; I’ll throw blankets on my display cases and serve them out of my shop.’
Then it occurred to me I could use the Money Pit. It would give all of us plenty of room to spread out down there even inviting some other friends and family as well as being available for the Police Officers when they stop by. I’m just excited. I feel energized and ambitious. This is the kind of stuff Cutty loved doing ~ creating little ideas for staying busy as well as making a little money. I feel like I’m channeling him… big time. I’m going to start accumulating linens and dishes whenever possible for the person renting the building for an event to use. I’m going to make some things HAPPEN this year.
The activity is generating more energy. I’m up to date on bills and have resumed balancing the checkbook twice weekly. Everything. Night and day compared to the past month. I feel totally on top of my game and pray gratitude many times a day to stay there a while.
However, I noticed 98 notifications unread as I logged in; so not totally on top of my FatSecret game. But that’s it for now. Thank you for stopping to visit with me. I’ll try to catch up on your journals tomorrow.
Bella
The Sofa:
