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Things have not been going well for me. It actually started BEFORE all the recent chaos and trials in my life, though, so I don’t guess I can blame them. I went to the Urgent Care yesterday, because I had started with a rash on Friday morning, near my elbow that looked and felt like mosquito bites. By Friday night, there were ELEVEN little welts. On Saturday morning, it was 13, and the whole area was swollen. By late yesterday afternoon, there were 20 spots, it was very red, swollen, HOT, and beginning to “weep.” Diagnosis: dermatitis and possible cellulitis. Was put on oral and topical steroids, as well as an antibiotic. It’s doing much better today.
In addition to that, a young guy in our church died in his sleep on Friday morning. The “formerly homeless” guy that lives with us, Dwayne, had become very close to him, and he took his passing really hard! As a result, he broke his 16-month sobriety and drank 12 beers. Well, actually, it was 10 months, because he had had another slip-up at the 6-month point. One of the only two conditions of him living with us was that he NOT drink (the other is no smoking in the house). I have allowed this to cause me a lot of stress, because I’m very disappointed and somewhat hurt by the betrayal – but, I also understand, because I am similarly addicted to food as a means of comfort when I’m upset, or sad, or stressed (or happy, or celebrating, etc., etc.) How can I judge him when I do the very same thing, only with a different substance?
I dread seeing what the prednisone will do to my weight! In the past, the weight gain has been immediate, as the medication makes me want to eat constantly. The doctor says it will only be water-weight gain, and that it will go away as soon as I go back to regular eating (or have a few BEERS to flush my system! This was the suggestion from the DOCTOR!!! Thankfully, I’m not the one who is the alcoholic – but I don’t drink at all, so it is really a moot point.)
So, here I am gaining AGAIN. Up to 184 again yesterday morning. Didn’t record it, or anything I’ve eating lately – which, so far, has included TWO sandwiches today (FOUR slices of regular white bread), a couple small-ISH bowls of cherries, potato chips, Cheetos, and the day’s not even over. UGH!
NO, I don’t condone or endorse not recording what you eat! In the past, someone has chided me for being such a “bad example” to the people in my groups, acting like I was encouraging everyone to do what I do. I’m a flawed human being, just like the rest of you. I fail. But, sometimes, I succeed, too. What I DO encourage people to do is to just keep getting UP when you fall. Every day is a new beginning. Hopefully, I will make the most of tomorrow. (Which immediately makes me think, “I guess I should go and finish off all those cherries … and the Pepperidge Farm cookies … and …)
I haven’t gone to the pool to get in my laps for the past three days. I have a hematologist appointment tomorrow and am planning on picking up my little grandson afterward. Usually, that is a recipe for NOT getting in my laps; but, my twin friends are going with me, so they can keep him entertained while I swim for a while. Brand new week starting. Clean slate. Hope it’s good for ALL of us!
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