BuffyBear's Journal, 14 Mar 11

WOO!! I agree :) Hopefully people will understand and be happy you're making a lifestyle change for the better! 

Good for you. There's nothing wrong with speaking up for yourself. You would if you had diabetes, or another problem. 

Thanks Cobby and KMartin - I do have elevated blood sugar and cholesterol so its not all for vanity.  

Hey Buffy - you are not a wimp, you are just considerate and don't want to feel like you are putting people out, you might be pleasantly surprised how accommodating your loved ones will be when you just voice what you can and can't eat....... 

I find it funny how understanding people are when you give them a medical reason for not being able to eat certain foods but how that changes when you tell them you are following Atkins or some other diet. Tell them as much as you feel comfortable. They should respect your wishes. 

Triaby, I had recently thought about this when you had your "Pancake Day" and ate so as to not hurt their feelings. Guess it is all on how we say things. I need to work on some quick, but polite "no thank you" phrases ahead of time (because not everyone wants to hear about your diet).  

Unfortunately, they can also just ignore your needs and do what your sister-in-law did. Mine did something similar this weekend. I told her that I was going to go on Atkins and that involved staying away from sugar, potatoes, pasta, rice, bread, etc. Then I went out to dinner with her and she offered to buy an appetizer we could share and she got loaded potato skins! Needless to say, she ate them all herself. Later, I was serving up birthday cake for the family and she brought out a plate and fork for me! Either she thought I was joking or just doesn't listen very well. I just have to shake my head and move on. I'm not really looking forward to Easter dinner at her house this year. I plan on making something I can eat and bringing it to dinner to "share." 

I hear your pain! Oooh, some people can be difficult to deal with. Or maybe they have a hard time with change I don't know. I do know that the ability to deal with those kind of situations with as much grace & dignity as you have is hard to come by. Good for you for standing up for yourself!!!!! 

Guess it is good to hear I am not alone. Thanks again. 

Support from family and friends sometimes comes slowly until they can see your committment and some results. Heck, how many times have we said we are going to try this diet or that diet and never really make any progress, so can you blame them? The main thing is that you stay committed to your journey and yourself! 

I encountered a similar incident over the weekend. I went out to lunch with a friend to a mexican restaurant and she wanted me to eat the chips, then she says we are near the Cupcakery we should stop by! Then she suggests we go to Wendy's for a frosty. ??? Each time I said, great idea but I can't eat it. Geesh! Lastly, she says we should take a trip next month and she will bring the cookies and crackers for the road. I just ignored her. 

I was invited to a baby shower & I'm on a low-carb diet, so I emailed one of the hostesses a couple of days in advance to ask what was being served & all I said was that I'm fussy about what I eat these days. She was aware I've been dieting so it wasn't an issue. It turned out they were serving a quiche, & after Googling the recipe I discovered the only part that didn't fit with my plan was the crust. There was also a lettuce salad with a basic vinaigrette & a big bowl of fresh berries, both of which I was able to enjoy. If the foods being served didn't fit with my plan, I would have politely let the hostesses that I might not eat much & not to take it personally because I'm working on losing weight. I'd also make sure to eat beforehand. 

I am very blunt - I do not mind to tell my friends and family that I am watching what I eat - even when they say "one meal wont hurt you" -well it does! My husband and I see our Best Friends every weekend - if they want pizza and I haven't "budgeted" out my calories for the day - I just bring what I can eat. They are very supportive. Just say "No" - that's what works for me ;) 

I, too, had to learn to say "Thanks, but no thanks." At work someone is always having a food day or going out to eat. I get asked all of the time to participate. I respond, "I really appreciate your asking, but I am going to decline this time. They all know I am loosing weight. It is obvious that I am loosing inches. They just forget. Then there are the ones that don't know how to respond to a more confident and successful Mary. I realize who they are, smile, and still politely decline. They eventually get the hint. :) Some people can handle a confident woman, some can't:)!!!!!! I have a right and responsibility to myself to make sure I am one! 

I appreciate all of your support and tips. Thanks again.