-Diablo's Journal, 11 May 21

This reminded me of something I forgot to post before, I thought was kinda cool. There is this huge interconnected web diagram I found way back, somewhere online, I just can’t find it now, but it’s basically a huge 32 year study relating to social networking and how it can influence obesity, it’s pretty interesting. The interactive one I found was where you could click all sorts of different connections and see how they all relate, like how one dot could be media influence that leads to certain friendships that leads to how someone eats etc etc. very detailed, I’ll have to find it again. But the link here is the article relating to the study. just shows how much psychology plays a pivotal role in how it affects our diets and lifestyles. I mean the mental aspect with fat loss is, at its most basic level, literally you fighting your own brain in many ways, and your own body, to purposefully starve yourself, to lose fat, that your body and brain wants you to hold onto to live. Anyways here’s da link below 👇🏻 https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmsa066082#figures_media  

@Deadpool: is this just a way of saying that if you have fat friends, you will be fat, too? Makes sense. Fat people socialize by getting together to overeat. Thin people get together to dance, run/hike/walk, go to the gym, play softball, and go clothing shopping.  

Fat people socialize by - browsing art museums, going to movies, shopping for clothes, visiting historical sites —oh and we get together to walk/hike, dance, and go to the beach to swim. Just like thin people, we also go out drinking and to eat as a social activity. I’ve never joined a gym but lots of fat people do. Fat people are people like everyone else & overeating is not their only social activity. Just saying. 

Thank you Diablo for your support 🙏 Have followed you for awhile now and appreciate your input 😊 

@Gib: not where I live (SoCal). There is a lot of shame tied to being overweight. People will lose the weight in private before going out into public -- especially the beach or in clubs to dance. 

@justbananas I don’t think it’s that basic or concrete, but social presence can influence behavior in many ways, thats like saying if I have a friend who smokes I’m going to smoke too, I used to have friends who smoked and drank all the time, But never smoked and I never drink. I think it’s more complicated, but I think it also depends on the individual, but there are lots of things in our lives which can influence our lifestyle choices if we aren’t conscience of them, for example how some kids grow up they’re often told “eat everything on your plate”, and in certain ways that behavior can stick with people, or with relationships it can go either way, someone can have “bad” eating habits but get into a relationship and that influences then to change to “good” habits. I just found the connection web interesting, but I don’t see it as a specific source of things that will happen “just because it’s there” so to say, if that makes sense? 

@Deadpool: I think people in general just want to be around others who are like us and don't make us feel ashamed of our choices. When someone lights up a joint and passes it to you, they're not just sharing, they're also quietly asking you to accept their behavior by participating. When a fat person hosts a BBQ or picnic or invites you to a restaurant, they mean to overeat, and you condone their behavior by cleaning your own plate. Eat a small portion and you make the fat person feel guilty; they would probably prefer to eat a 4,000-calorie meal with someone else who will do the same. 

That's why it's good to be a 200 pound bodybuilder. I can eat what my heavier friends eat and it's just more energy for lifting. Nom nom. But yes, I think children are "hardwired" into a life of obesity when they inherit bad habits from their parents and you may refrain but you're still more likely to do what others around you are doing. 

I think that while social sharing with food at gatherings and with friends/family/significant others etc. is very common, as well as you can see obesity rising in children too and a lot of the bad habits are picked up from the parents, chances are if someone is a chubby child they’ll be a chubby adult, unless they make changes towards that. Which is why diet and lifestyle is the biggest and I would say main thing to make difference in how someone’s physical health and body. You literally can see it, regardless of age or genetics or whatever, look at how many people who have been obese changed that, look at how many people have here on FatSecret. The opposite as well, if they’ve been thin most their lives, gained fat, they can turn it around and through exercise/diet be back to where they were or even better. No matter how old you get, the decision to change is what will impact your future. I know for me I’ve always been active and chosen to be, growing up I was in soccer and marital arts and baseball, then as I got older around my 20s Got more into fitness, and then in the early 2012s, thought “broscience” was “the way” and had to “eat big to get big!”, I gained 10lbs of fat (I assume) in a month was around 18% body fat, and was like “well this isn’t getting my abs to show!” So over time i tried and experimented with many things relating to fitness and diet etc. Because I didn’t want to be where I used to be, especially with my family history most are obese and diabetic, and my body has its own problems, but for me gaining isn’t hard, but I don’t allow myself to ignore it and just not care either, so I’ve chosen an active lifestyle and continue to do so. I also think a big contributor to the obesity issue especially is the fact that the average person is accustomed to being sedentary, not just with jobs either, the average calorie has also dramatically changed and shot up compared to in the 1900s, I think the housewives of those times were far more active because you had to be. Somewhere I read they may have burned close to 300 calories in a whole day of working. Portion sizes in the USA are 2-3 times larger of the same foods than other countries even. Just look how big the plates are. So Now we have door dash and engineered food products and no longer need to make or hunt food ourselves we can just Door Dash it. So I think now more than ever educating is important to weed through the bad info, and find what works best for your own life. 

One of my favorite shows, Secret Eaters, occasionally touches on the psychology of overeating. They also do an entire season that focuses specifically on California weight culture, which is its own absolutely insane microcosm, and I don't think anywhere in the US operates the way SoCal does when it comes to body image (thankfully). The whole show is neat (but very approachable), but my favorite parts are the social experiments they run. They're an aside to the main story in each episode, but they explore really interesting facets of how things like sleep, plate size, glass shape, ambiance, etc. influence how much you eat (they focus more on sheer calorie intake vs meal composition). The SoCal season explores the absolutely inSANE shit people do to keep in shape, and the immense pressure of the culture there. One episode explored options for *recent mothers* to get back their pre-baby-bod ASAP. If I sound judgey, it's because I am, that place sounds toxic af. 😁 

Thanks for the link Deadpool. That’s a really interesting study and great graphics. 

I’ll add that there is so much here to unpack and it’s a very worthwhile discussion. Do overweight people feel comfortable in a non overweight environment? Does this connectedness to others of our similar build support the idea that we inherit our build? So many questions!  

Love to educate— I am and have always been a normal weight person living in a world of primarily obese people. It has caused a lot of uncomfortable issues. Their idea of “getting together” mainly involves restaurants. My idea of getting together is plays, walking, hiking, museums, etc. they are often uncomfortable seeing me order and eat and I am equally u comfortable by what I often see them ordering and eating. Ultimately, I often just don’t go rather than make people uncomfortable.  

she_loves I grew up in a place similar to SoCal in terms of weather, the focus on outdoor activities, lots of skin on display, and an obsession with being not just healthy and fit, but looking a certain way and being skinny even if it compromised health. The intense social judgement did help me control my weight to some extent but I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not only because it was *not* about health but because even though I was as thin as I am now then, I am much happier now. There has to be a happy middle ground where the social environment encourages healthy practices without making people think they need to eat next to nothing and that if their abs aren't showing year-round, they're fat and unhealthy. That's just nonsense and toxic. 

As someone who used to be overweight, I'll say that I've always had many interests: reading, hiking, languages, music, painting, science, fashion and yes, even then, health. The idea that overweight people only eat or go to restaurants as their hobby is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. Either you don't know enough people or have some pretty severe biases that blind you to reality.  

But all these are just anecdotes, including mine. What we do know is that many people, not just lazy, greedy types who eat all day and only go to restaurants, can be overweight. I have known many medical professionals, engineers, computer scientists, lawyers, professors and other highly intelligent, disciplined, motivated and hard-working people, with jobs that kept them busy and interests other than food who were or are overweight. But please, keep pushing stereotypes and thinking you're helping people.  

Diablo knows how to get people talking! People are definitely speaking their minds. I think throwing around the term Fat People is a bit of gaslighting. Maybe not in Cali, but everywhere else. Everyone has fat, so the term isn’t very descriptive. Obese people (of which even I am borderline) or overweight (that’s me according to BMI) seem more descriptive. Anyhoo... without the extra fuel, this is a very interesting discussion to me. I see the tug between the two types of groups in our house daily. I was raised in an obese environment and offerings of sweets and fatty meats and snacks pull toward the old me. I want to be in the healthier camp (less visceral fat) and the best way to do it is to be around people with the healthier lifestyle. The struggle is real with the bakery in our kitchen 😂 

It is indeed easier and more comfortable to be around people with similar habits and values. There is an order of importance for me, and the most important one is the ability to question their own assumptions, not their body size. When I'm discussing a book with a friend, it makes absolutely no difference whether they are fatter or thinner than me. What I cannot stand is being around people who are constantly being vocal about their nasty judgments of others. That's the kind of thing that rubs off on you and that's more frightening to me than fat or a predilection for sweets. 

I agree! Being a big man in a thin world was not a problem for me, but maybe it was for others. I’m now seen as thin and we have different conversations and my career has advanced. I do love to talk pastries and smoked meats, but people always say “I don’t know how you do it” Deadpool’s link to the relationship graphic says a lot about how we interact with like body types even if we think we are hanging out with all kinds of people.  

Again, I just love you to tears Chevre!💕 Many people don’t even see their blind, that’s why they’re blind, yet their eyes are open to someone being overweight it’s just crazy!🙃 You really touched my heart and make a good read!👍👏👏👏👏🌺🌸