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Tuesday is SSDD. Raining and another round of the Bickering Bickerson's. I am planning on counting a shouting match with the DH as my cardio for the day. Judges?
I won't go into the mind numbing details; it's a fine line to walk trying to stand my own ground and tolerate the madness of a sick man. I decided for the time being I'm going to return to the antidepressants. It could be coincidental timing or a true cause & effect but two miserable days in a row resulting in screaming into a towel in the laundry room required something.
I could be strong and tough it out and try to do it without eating, drinking, smoking or drugs. I don't want to. Not right now. Trying to give up the thing that helps me maintain a calmness is like trying to start a diet on Thanksgiving Day. Sure it could be done but not by me. Not right now.
I am sure it goes without saying but as I'm known for stating the obvious, why stop now? Your very kind comments and responses to my journals are very much appreciated. I read, absorb and give great thought to every single one. Thank you. I've stopped coming back and responding to each comment 'on' the journal due to recent time constraints but please know your caring does touch and comfort me.
Well, it's 2pm. It's been a busy morning in the shop. I'm probably the only idiot (sorry, Ce, uh, zealot) in the county to call and ASK for a missing property tax bill. Had to deal with insurance renewal. Before opening the shop I cooked pork spareribs outside on the grill. The stress with DH has wiped out my appetite twice today. I think I'll start renting him out for folks trying to get through their first week of IF :-)
I'm going to go try to get something to eat while he's napping.
Bells
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 Comments
Ugh arguing can be exhausting.. I say it counts!! I think I'd return to the antidepressants after a few rough days too. Hopefully it helps and you are feeling better soon!
15 Oct 13 by member: Bkeller1023
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Glad you are feeling a little better Bella. I finally weaned myself off of the antidepressants I was on. Well, with my Dr help that is. I think you were going a little fast on your decrease. I know you have been on them since June, but it will take a long time to get off of, depending on which one you're on. It took me a little over a year for me to get rid of mine!! I went through a little weepy few days, and am back to where I actually FEEL again!! I was so numb with mine. I talked to my Dr and we had a mutual agreement, so we worked it out together. The best way to start, is by a reduction of half of what you were prescribed. Do that for a week and see how you feel. Keep at that level for a month, then reduce by half. This is how I had to do mine. My pills were at a mg that I could just cut them in half.
15 Oct 13 by member: pumakitten
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You know what is best for you! Hang in there! xxxxxs
15 Oct 13 by member: Neptunebch
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I know how it can be with a grumpy husband, not a lot of fun. I think if you feel you need to return to the antidepressants then you should. Some medications do take a while to wean off of, and only you know how you're feeling, so you should do what you feel is right. I hope you wake up tomorrow to sunshine and a less stressful day.
15 Oct 13 by member: SJacqueline
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Okay, first I have to ask, what does SSDD mean? I'm always the one behind with such things! I whole heartedly agree that now is not the right time to go off the antidepressants. You'll know when it is... you're an Angel, so of course you will! xoxox (P.S. Love the comparison to starting a diet on Thanksgiving!)
15 Oct 13 by member: Ruhu
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I have heard that it is difficult to wean off anti-depressants at the best of times. Trying to do so in the throes of the stress that caused you to seek medication in the first place is probably not the best idea. Why is it that we seem more likely to accept and use medication for things like pain or allergies but shy away from using anti-depressants? If you need it and feel better when you do, why try to get off of it? Keep hanging in there, Bella. With all that life throws at you, you have every right to ask for (and receive) a little help. Hugs!
15 Oct 13 by member: evelyn64
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SSDD is Same Stuff (or Sh**) Different Day
15 Oct 13 by member: SJacqueline
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We do what we must when we must. And if we can do it all consciously, then we will reap the rewards - that's my philosophy anyway. So, if the anti-d's help with the DH and the screaming mimis...use them. use them wisely and consciously. Just don't let them use you. Hugzz
15 Oct 13 by member: Sweet Ce
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Bella, good idea not to give up on the drugs for now. You have an uber stressful situation going on. I don't suppose telling DH he's being an a&&hole would help? Even sick people need to hear that sometimes. Rain plays a big factor in your moods too so I pray for a little bit of sunshine for you so you can get out to your 'church'. Hugs my dearest. Wish I had something super impressive to offer for help but all I got is ears to listen and a heart to send you love. I know it's enough because we are all sending you our love.
16 Oct 13 by member: sarahsmum
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Hey Bella, I'm sorry to hear yesterday was shit. Our other halves tend to get to us and push our buttons like nobody else can, so screaming into a towel is better than continuing to shout at him. I can't imagine how strong you must have to be emotionally to take care of an ill spouse who also has his ups and downs, plus make sure your head doesn't spin off! Do whatever you need to do and you'll be okay. Thinking of you.
16 Oct 13 by member: Josie Ann
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