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Last year my baby, middle child’s nickname since birth, was being harassed at school. Just saying men’s things to her when this girls boyfriend took an interest in my daughter. My daughter didn’t want to date this boy but just stay friends and the other girl didn’t want that either. Made up rumers, said she was ugly etc.
Last night this same girl pinched my daughter at practice. She proceeded to hit her in the stomach, not hard, baby hit her back, the girl whined, said she hated her, and when the coach wasn’t looking, pulled her pony tail hard enough to jerk herself head around.
I saw them standing close but they were across the court and I was visiting with another mother so couldn’t tell what was going on. Turns out my kid says this girl has been pulling her hair off and on during school this year. She didn’t want me going to the school last year but this year she’s ready for it to stop. We are both worried about it escalating even further. So I’ll go to the school later and talk with the principal. I don’t have high hopes that it’ll be solved because this is a popular girl, all the other girls are scared of her so won’t come forward and her parents are popular and donate time and money to the school.
So we are teaching baby to fight back even though she’s totally opposed to it. We’ve shown her how to throw a punch correctly but she’s refusing that. Hubby showed her how to push someone down. She knows some self defense karate from her two years doing that but she doesn’t want to use that as it’s against her trainers rules. She’s afraid she will be the one in trouble if she fights back or that it’ll get worse.
I’ve informed the coaches and they plan to watch for it. Two other moms reached out to me after the Facebook post last night. One says her daughters saw it and know who the girl is and she causes drama in their neighborhood daily. Another mom said her kid is being bullied by a different girl. We both plan to watch out for each other’s daughters.
Just hoping turning the girl in for bullying won’t make it worse. Normally someone has to stand up to them for it to stop I’m told. My daughter telling her to stop hasn’t worked. Avoiding this girl hasn’t worked. They play on the same team, are in the same class and this girl seeks my daughter out in the hall and lining up for class to pull her hair. She’s in 5th grade and has already dated half of the boys in her grade. On her 6-7th one this year and tells the other girls they can have her leftovers. Town bicycle already! Or soon to be it looks like.
My oldest says the older sister of this girl is mean and hateful so she avoided her last year and thankfully this year she’s at the high school.
Just hope I’m doing the right thing. Hate myself for agreeing to stay quiet last year. If I would’ve turned her in back then then this might not be happening now.
View Diet Calendar, 21 February 2020:
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1692 kcal
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Fat: 75.36g | Prot: 75.49g | Carbs: 159.92g.
Breakfast: Venison/Deer Jerky. Lunch: Ground Beef (90% Lean / 10% Fat, Patty, Cooked, Broiled), A.1. Steak Sauces And Marinades A1 Steak Sauce. Dinner: Friendly's Soft Serve Twist, Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Mashed Potatoes, Cracker Barrel Macaroni & Cheese, Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Sawmill Gravy, Cracker Barrel Chicken Fried Steak . Snacks/Other: Girl Scout Cookies Lemonades, MuscleTech Amino Build, Elmer's Candy Assorted Chocolates. more...
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 Comments
Sounds like you're doing everything you can do. No need to hate yourself for being quiet. You honored your daughters wishes. As much as your daughter doesn't want to physically fight back, she may have to to get this to stop. Hugs
21 Feb 20 by member: tatauu22
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Sending you and your daughter and those other girls good vibes. Bullying is terri and so insidious.
21 Feb 20 by member: jengetfit123
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Been there. Kids are brutal. Very difficult as a parent to stand by and watch your kid get picked on. That said, the kids are 100% correct in that snitching to the school makes it worse. If she's amenable, you might consider a more practical martial art. BJJ is a win. Gracie and others specifically focus on handing bullies. My kids wouldn't fight either. At first. Like you, I gave them the tools and support, but left it to them to handle. Took a couple years, but eventually they got fed up and fought back, at which point it stopped. Good luck!
21 Feb 20 by member: jimmiepop
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Don't stay quiet. It's what your kids want, but not what's best. They need to see you stand up against wrong as an example to stand up for themselves. Go to the police or school board if you have to.
21 Feb 20 by member: ApacheTiger37
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You can get a restraining order and put their parents on notice.
21 Feb 20 by member: ApacheTiger37
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If the girl is popular and no one will stand up, then your daughter will be the one to get into trouble.
21 Feb 20 by member: ApacheTiger37
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I'm so sorry your daughter n ur family have to deal with this. I taught school for many years and bullying is something I watched for, talked about and didn't tolerate in my class but there can be alot of politics in school. U are doing the right thing by teaching your daughter that she should not ignore this. I hope her school and principal will support you guys. It might be helpful to document incidents, what was done, and who witnessed it. Good luck!💜💜💜
21 Feb 20 by member: Diana 1234
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I hope that girl gets in trouble! 🤦🏻♀️ Your daughter sounds like a sweet soul. I’m glad you and your hubby taught her self defense. ♥️♥️♥️ and positive energy.
21 Feb 20 by member: jcmama777
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Why do I think that her parents are also bullies? I would expose this girl. The behaviour will be denied but if she knows she's being watched she will have less opportunity to behave like she has.
21 Feb 20 by member: Looped
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The principal was gone so I talked with the assistant principal. Turns out he used to work with special needs children and is super against bullying.
He will bring the girl in and talk to her as well as my daughter. He said he can’t do anything about practice as it wasn’t during school and isn’t a school event. I assumed that. He wants to talk to baby about the dangers of allowing this to continue and how she must start standing up for herself and telling a teacher or other adult immediately. He talked about future abusive relationships and how middle school next year will get way worse if they don’t stop it now. He didn’t seem surprised when I told him who the other girl was. I know my daughter has said she picks on others too so maybe they’ll be brave enough to come forward after this so it can stop for them as well.
21 Feb 20 by member: peeperjj
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Sounds like a productive meeting. I'm glad you both of you
21 Feb 20 by member: tatauu22
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I don’t know if her parents are bullies. I’ve been told they donate a lot to the school, I know they are a rich popular family and the mom helps out with parties This girl constantly asks people what their parents salaries are and how big their houses are and says hers is bigger and her parents are rich. I’ve seen her with her mom and this girl fake cries and gets her way and whatever she wants. My oldest goes to school with her older sister and says that sister is mean too. I would assume they get it from their parents but maybe not. I get very angry and wanted to bend this girl over my knee (of course I really wouldn’t do so) and my daughter wouldn’t hurt a fly. Yesterday was the first time of hitting back and it was a light back hand to the stomach. She knows how to get out of someone holding her, she knows how to sweep their legs out from under them, knows how to push them away and pivot so they can’t grab her again... but she thinks those things would be being mean back and refuses to be mean. She didn’t get that from me lol. I would’ve already drop kicked the girl by now. Just thankful the school is going to look into it. Also I know that it will probably get worse before it gets better. Usually does. But we have boys in middle school telling girls to go kill themselves. There are real fights. We want to stop it before it gets out of hand like that.
21 Feb 20 by member: peeperjj
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I agree with Apache the school or school board must handle this situation. I would agree that it is most likely that she is bullying someone else at school too. Rely on the teachers, coaches, and professionals to guide you. Maybe you could ask her Karate instructor what to do as well. Good Luck Mom!
21 Feb 20 by member: Little Red Fox
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Good luck with this :) You can tell this never happened to my girl...because I'm not in jail.
21 Feb 20 by member: LZenn
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good luck with this horrid stuff! That just can't stand! So stick to your guns, and I hope they learn better. well wishes for all💖
21 Feb 20 by member: #1loser
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LZ, if I’d have realized what was happening at the time I probably would’ve said something to the child and been asked to leave.
21 Feb 20 by member: peeperjj
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Turns out the mean bully skipped school saying she was sick but she was well enough to come to the basketball tournament this evening and run the whole game. My daughter told some friends what happened and some teammates saw it (their mom saw my Facebook post and had a talk with them) so we think she was tipped off that I was going to the school this morning. The mean girl tried to talk to my daughter at the game and my daughter ignored her and moved. A few girls at school told my kiddo that this girl had been bullying them too and one said to tell the principal about it when they call her in. Sounds like this other girl is ready for it to end as well but too afraid to outright go in and wants my daughter to tell them.
21 Feb 20 by member: peeperjj
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21 Feb 20 by member: voodoobread
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