jcmama777's Journal, 23 Nov 19

For my journal..... Pretty sure they are coming back home to us. Addiction affects everyone and everything around you. Life isn’t unicorns and glitter. Raise strong babies with a good head on their shoulders. Stay strong. Vent, keep pushing. Life is beautiful, life is hard. Everyone has a story. Stay strong, be kind, you don’t know what everyone is going through. Take time to gather yourself and refocus. I hate addiction. 

Oh jc. This is heartbreaking and very sad. Praying for you and your family. ❤️💜💚 

I know you are the strong center for so many people...please rest, sleep, and take a breath every once in a while. Sending prayers. XOXO 

🙏🏻 praying for your family Jc. Addiction is one of the worst things that can happen to a family ☹️ 

I am so tired. I’m so overwhelmed. I’m so heartbroken. My nerves are shot. We’re hosting Thanksgiving, and I’m so sick to my stomach and so sad for my family. I share because I feel like it’s important, but I lay it all out and it’s really uncomfortable and thank you for listening❤️ I’m not ok right now but I’m trying to be strong for the family. I’m worried about my nieces and nephew. I’m worried about the girls being left alone. I’m pissed and sick over not being fully disclosed about my sister being missing for 2 weeks. Like , I went and found or saw her within 1.5 hours after getting my baby to kindergarten. My poor nieces thought I knew, and what’s awful is they thought I knew but never questioned aunt Jenny as to why I didn’t reach out. I guess my dad( step, but dad) has been sleeping there at night. I can see this of him and my mom. It’s hurtful that I took these babies in because of such a sad, horrible situation last February. I know my nieces were alone last night. I sent Applebee’s food, teas, deserts and bought them everything they need toiletries wise.  

I think it was kept from me because my parents don’t want CPS involved again. I had these babies last time though. My mom made a comment, while leaving out my sister went missing for 2 weeks, that the girls want to stay at their house and Nana, (12) grade wants to finish school and just let me think that my sister was doing what she has been prior, home, not home, but mostly home during the week. Finding out she has been missing for 2 weeks and now not home longer...I’m dying😔🥺😔 My oldest told me yesterday that for now on she is going to let me know 1st, right away, what’s going on. These poor babies!! Their going to, and hopefully coming back here. There’s so many emotions right now. I’m unsettled since finding out last Tuesday that I’m not sleeping. Why should I be comfortable, my nieces and nephew aren’t. Everything is so heavy right now. It’s been awful. It’s all over my journal. It’s worse.  

So sorry about this upheaval. Cherish each moment with your loved ones and enjoy your time with them. It's hard with thoughts of your sister in the back of your mind, I know. Prayers. XOXO