tahoebrun's Journal, 02 May 18

God has my back.
I had an opportunity to reflect on this over the weekend. I have personally had some challenges over the last few months and was trying to put this in perspective. Did God do this to me? Is this a test of faith or a challenge that I need to overcome? Is the universe out to get me? Am I not getting what I think I need, when I think I need it? Am I afraid of losing something I have and can’t see my life without it. Are my problems too big for my God to handle? In all reality I shouldn’t be here, somethings are through my own choices and actions. If I really believe that God is everything and his plan for me is correct; how or why would anything that happens to me be a test. That means I am basing things on my abilities with my finite information and my will. Me not trusting God to do his part and take care of me and my needs. Me running the show as the director of the universe. Things have happened that I can’t explain (the Dr’s and Nurses are struggling a bit too) with my health. If this is all part of the master plan then isn’t all this is as it should be. If everything is as it should be then what do I have to be fearful of. Maybe what I am going through is really God’s plan for me to better demonstrate his love of humanity. My purpose is to be of maximum service to those around me – either through deeds or maybe by example (good and bad). If I am truly grateful for my position in life and have faith in God’s plan, then I must see these things as a gift - a blessing as such. These blessings have been bestowed on me to be used as part of a bigger plan that I may not yet fully understand. I know God has a plan for me, he has truly blessed me in more ways that I can describe. Every day is really a bonus (Alive day 141). I am grateful for my gifts and understand that I am responsible to show up and do the footwork, I am not responsible for the outcome. The outcome (whatever it is) is the gift; today I accept the gifts I am given and I know I have a purpose in God’s plan. Even when I don’t know or fully comprehend what it is. I will keep showing up to do the deal everyday with the faith that God has my back.

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2151 kcal

Fat: 79.80g | Prot: 150.82g | Carbs: 228.84g.   Breakfast: Wild Blueberries, Strawberries & Banana Slices, Premier Nutrition High Protein Shake - Caramel, Bob's Red Mill Quick Cooking Steel Cut Oats, Fairlife Fat Free Milk. Lunch: Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers - Sea Salt, Caesar Salad Dressing, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables (Including Tomatoes and/or Carrots), Green String Beans, Carrots, Roasted Potato, Publix Homestyle Beef Meatloaf with Seasoned Gravy. Dinner: Giovanni Rana Ravioli Artichoke, Cooked Spinach (from Fresh), Polenta, Pork Loin (Tenderloin, Lean Only). Snacks/Other: Banana Chips, Kirkland Signature Chocolate Brownie Protein Bar, Beefsteak Bread Soft Rye Bread, Scrambled egg with vegtables. more...

3073 kcal

Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 3 hours, Standing - 6 hours, Sitting - 3 hours, Resting - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...