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Youngest grandson's birthday party was today. He is so cute, of course! Loves tractors. He had been asleep, was a bit cranky until he (with a lot of help) opened his first tractor present. Eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! So much fun!! So much food and cake. No, I didn't! Had some pepperoni, salami and cheese. Skipped the cake. Well, it was white anyway. A victory, nonetheless.
I'm still aggravated with myself. Such a happy day and I had this creepy jibe because I could just feel my last ex staring at me so much and so many times going out of his way to come near me. Not my imagination. The "flight or fight" feeling happens every time I'm in the same vicinity as him. I can almost feel my skin breaking out in a rash. I'm always hiding behind a smile. We do speak and act civil toward each other. Yes, he is supposed to be at every function concerning my two youngest. And no, he hasn't caused me any harm in the last several years. Still creeps me out. Well, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better.
Onward!!
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1118 kcal
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Fat: 97.08g | Prot: 54.39g | Carbs: 15.89g.
Breakfast: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Trader Joe's Brown Cage Free Eggs (Large), Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds). Lunch: Hormel Original Pepperoni Slices, Dynasty Oolong Tea, Hormel Hard Salami, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Chicken of the Sea Premium Whole Baby Clams. Dinner: Mission Avocado, Hormel Hard Salami, Dynasty Oolong Tea. Snacks/Other: Planters Lightly Salted Mixed Nuts, Walnuts, Twinings Chai Tea. more...
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4355 kcal
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Exercise:
Watching TV/Computer - 8 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 1 hour, Housework - 20 minutes, Desk Work - 6 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 7 hours and 55 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 15 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 20 minutes. more...
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 Comments
It gets easier with time 🙏🏻
12 Mar 18 by member: Carol Vaquera
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Just be like “one step closer and I’ll be feeding you. 👊🏻 a knuckle sandwich! 😎”
12 Mar 18 by member: DEADPOOL12345
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Hi Carol Vaquera. That is the thing...it has been more than enough time! My kids are grown with kids of their own. Plenty of time has gone by. It is just a nagging body response that I have to stifle every time we are in the same area.
12 Mar 18 by member: kattay
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:) DEADPOOL12345. Paint that picture! That would certainly be tables turned and I would probably be put in a straight jacket!! But I had to smile with your comment. Thanks, it was great!!
12 Mar 18 by member: kattay
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Sorry for you have a creepy ex but the grandson sounds adorable! I am in awe that you could walk by the cake! Kudos!
12 Mar 18 by member: Gingerk65
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Kattay, somehow sharing on here eases things. I think it's because you didn't keep it inside, like I did for years. Even though my most abusive ex and I have a truce and do talk occasionally when things come up I still often after a contact with him have nightmares or flashbacks, though less and less as time passes and I deal with it more openly. FYI I do not have any contact with my 2nd ex, no kids no need to and do not want to.
12 Mar 18 by member: wholefoodnut
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Thanks Gingerk65. Yes, GS certainly is adorable. I felt really good about passing up the cake and ice cream. There were enough people there that no one really noticed. Who wants to hear "Are you sick or something?" :)
12 Mar 18 by member: kattay
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I know what you mean wholefoodnut. I still have those nightmares and flashbacks after these family times. Loved his family so I try to pay my respects when the inevitable happens. Can't sleep right for a few nights after each encounter with him. Jumpy. I'm thinking this is just part of my life and have to just deal with it.
12 Mar 18 by member: kattay
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