p$m's Journal, 07 Mar 22

Go ahead and eat your meal out. 144# is not fat. You've made your food and life choices. As Erq said most people won't notice/care what you eat. Not your problem if someone is judgy. Live your healthy life for yourself, not others.  

Go out and what what you want! You are deserving of a meal of whatever you choose!  

People who “diet” run the risk of developing disordered thinking and eating disorders. Not a good thing. Studying restaurant menus and having “voices” in your head (if you meant that literally) giving you negative feedback is not a good thing. 

You tell those voices to shut up and get in line!! You know how to do this! 

Thanks everyone for your support. I realize that maybe the judgement is just really coming from me. It’s strange I guess “cheating” at home is very different for me than cheating in public. I am more conscious of my choices in a restaurant cause I have to sit there and pick my food while I home I mindlessly reach into the fridge. I’ll figure something out sooner or later.  

Not at your weight- that wouldn't happen- especially in this day and age. I have judged morbidly obese people's shopping carts though. I'm not gonna lie. But of course I would never say anything to people. Besides- I start in the produce section and by the time we are done- anything that other people would think was healthy is covered with bags of chips and cereal. I enjoy eating alone in restaurants. Obviously I don't do it often.  

@kenna no they are not real voices in my head. I know what you mean. I had friends who have that disorder. As for studying a menu I always read that it was a good to do if you’re watching what you eat.  

You have to be proud of you. That will overcome most of the "voices". You are on a healthy journey 

I have anxiety and overthink all things all the time. Something that has help me is to think of thoughts as waves, they come and go but you must let go sometimes we hold on and make a big shadow and we suffer more from it than from the actual events. Give that inside voice a name and every time you have a thought say thank you ___ for the heads up but that’s not actually happening right now. & eat because you want to be healthy not skinny or bigger. And don’t label food as good or bad it’s a game changer. 

It’s not cheating, it’s a choice! You know your food plan and will make up for any over the top foods you eat! And people who comment on your food choices are ignorant! 

@liv that maybe the problem I’m not so proud lately. I’m still not done being angry with myself for gaining back the 10 pounds I lost.  

I know how you feel. I gained 25 lbs or something like that. But given that the weight journey is so hard for most of us I decided to focus on the fact that I was turning it around again. That is a great accomplishment 

I used to eat out more often, before Covid hit. I tried to be careful with my choices so as not to derail my weight-loss at the time. Since I hit my goal, sometimes I eat exactly what I want on the menu....even if it's not the lowest calorie choice. I don't worry about what others think. It's not their business. Eat whatever you like & enjoy it! I will admit that since I became more calorie conscious, if someone orders a huge meal or dessert & eats it all, I wonder at their ability to do that. It isn't really based on whether they're fat or thin though.  

You do you because no one knows what your day of eating looked like. I get tired of explaining nights we go out with friends you are only eating that!!! Mind you I just had a meal replacement protein shake from the gym after my workout a couple of hours ago! Yes I am thin but I am lifting weights and making sure I fuel my body the proper macros! Thank goodness for Fat Secret’s s app! 

Thanks @liv and @sherry 

Thanks @Red  

I only notice the extremes when I go to a restaurant: the morbidly obese and the bony emaciated. I live in SoCal, so the obese are generally from out of town (clothing/hairstyles give it away further) and I don't usually notice what they're eating, but rather just the fact that they're in the establishment to begin with. Super-anorexic looking individuals I am curious as to what's on their plate that enables them to stay so skinny (usually they have a salad that they pick at and water/diet soda. Do I shoot anyone dirty looks? No. Do some people notice and judge and comment? You know that's a yes. Ultimately it's your body and you should do what is best for you and your health. My trick is to only eat fruit on the day of the restaurant meal.  

@just it’s kind of like that here in NYC. But it’s not so extreme.  

The other option is to split something with another persons. A good friend and I do it all the time on those rare occasions we go out to eat. Restaurants will gladly do that for you. 

In all seriousness, it may be time you speak with a therapist/coach/disordered eating professional. I am a former PT/Nutrition Coach, this thought pattern could be a red flag. Something to think about.