BabyYin's Journal, 25 Jan 22

all you can do is have faith and trust. as for me... I too I'm not married, single and proud of it. someone will love you for who you are, not what you can bring to the table... have faith, and the rest should fall into place... I hope this helps... 

Sweetie you are worth being happy. when I met my husband I was big I lost weight I gained it back at one point in my life I laid over 500 lb I mean I don't know and he has been beside me through it all for almost 36 years so you deserve to be happy and if you believe that you need to be married then explain it to him you know some people say that it's just a piece of paper but I'm like you in the eyes of God it's more than that. you have a blessed day 💕 and I hope you get everything you deserve! 

Thanks I am 55 and was only married once for a year and a half back when I was 24. Only because I had to because I got pregnant. 

I understand you completely. For me, it was essential that a man marry me to show he is serious and committed to me. Not just that, but it is very important. There is no compromise about things that are major values. I could not have been with someone who didn't believe in marriage. I would have felt used. 

If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and is not just saying meaningless romantic things, there should be no problem for him getting married. 

If he won't marry you, set him free. You will find someone who will commit.  

The most of the married, both young and old, couples i know, husband is cheating his wife. Commitment through marriage? I do not think so. 

Having been married (and divorced), I can safely say that I would never do it again -- I'm content to just date, and would never be pressured into marrying by a guy, no matter how much I love him. If you two are a great match, you will be on the same page about weddings, family, money, etc. Are you willing to compromise? Offer to sign a pre-nup. You get a marriage, and he will get legal assurances that, should things not work out, a divorce would be quick and relatively painless.  

I'm sure you already know this but marriage wont make you happy or complete you. That only comes from a personal relationship with Jesus. I hope and pray that you make the right decision  

I have never EVER felt that way, but it could be because I'm a teenager and also a lesbian. To me, the whole idea of a woman being a man's prize is disgusting. 

You should know that you have worth outside of being a man's wife. You don't need to be married to contribute to society. This is the 21st century. If you want to feel more worth, maybe focus on a career or at least volunteer or donate to charity. 

I too have experienced this in similar ways. I am blessed with an unconditional love and best friend for life, finally. He loves and cares for me and I for him. Put God first, yourself and then him. 

I absolutely understand what you mean. My husband and I have both gone through different levels of comfort with a legal marriage and made a decision after discussing what we liked and did not like about what that means. I think a good move would be to figure out exactly what the appeal is to you and the hesitation is for him. So many things are involved, including government/legal stuff, financial concerns, differences in sentimentality, etc. Maybe figuring out what the specific pros and cons are in your minds could help y'all figure out what works best for both of you.  

My "husband" and I aren't legally married and don't necessarily plan on it. He wants to because he never has been and I don't because I've been divorced 3 times and realize that marriage is only what you make of it. I married because I was young and had the same mindset of "well at least it's better to be wanted by someone that can tolerate me instead of waiting for the slim chance of finding someone who actually loved me the right way". 3 times I made that mistake. Now I'm with an amazing guy who is actually head over heels for me and yet I'm in no hurry to rush to the alter. It's not because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him, I do, I just don't get the point of marriage at this point in our lives. Maybe he feels the same. I want my husband very much, so it's usually not good to assume things like he doesn't want you just because he doesn't want to sign a piece of paper. Maybe try to do what we do and just refer to each other as husband and wife (be careful though because some states would consider you common law married at that point). It's helped warm me up somewhat to the idea of getting married to him one day. And above all...BE PATIENT. A bamboo plant may grow much faster than a rose bush but it will not be as beautiful. No need to rush perfection. 

if you truly love him as your soulmate and desire him in your life then you do not need a piece of paper to make it so 

Marriage means something: profound acceptance and love. Without it, there's always a question. 

My fiancé has had strong doubts about marriage in general which he only expressed to me fully after he proposed. I told him that there was no going back after that and subsequently he has worked through his issues and we are going forward with wedding planning which we are both now happy with. However, if he had more thoroughly expressed his doubts earlier in our relationship without also proposing, I may have chosen to accept his hesitation and would love my soulmate without the piece of paper. I would never give him up over a piece of paper, but I also understand your feelings of wanting marriage. I don’t have helpful advice but I hope you and your partner are able to reach a situation that both of you can be at peace with. Just Remember you are lovable and obviously loved, big or small, married or legally single! 

If you get right down to it, marriage is a man-made thing. If you and your partner have committed to loving each other, you ARE joined. You don't need a piece of paper NOR the leaders of some church/sect to condone it. You were brought together for a reason. That being said, yes, I AM a Christian - but not a closed-minded person. Also, can you let me know what church or municipal building Adam and Eve were "married" in? If it bothers you so much, legally change your name adding his to yours.  

He doesn't want to get married AGAIN - that suggests to me that he was badly hurt in marriage before, & doesn't want to be hurt again. Maybe he just needs more time, maybe a LOT of time. I knew a couple of guys that were with their ladies for literal YEARS before finally tying the knot. I've been married for almost 34 years and it's great, but should something happen I will NEVER get married again. It really is alot of work & tolerance, & knowing you can't really change the other person. Anyway, best of luck to you! 

I hear your man’s hesitancy and totally get it. Are there kids involved, job conflicts, money issues, inheritance issues. A lot of extenuating circumstances in repeat marriages that need to be talked about and RESOLVED before you tie the knot.