BuffyBear's Journal, 20 Jul 13

Mine doesn't mention weight any more. Once in a while he'll ask if it's ok for me to go out to eat.. Duh.. I sure don't pass that up.  

dboza - Sounds like he is confused!  

Men do say (and do) the dumbest things sometimes! Mine also had mentioned that I'd put on a few, but tried to do it in a good way saying I'd gotten too thin & that his brother & a friend of mine had mentioned that to him. It was only a difference of about 4 or 5 lbs! But he also is very complimentary as well. of course, both make me even more crazy/obsessed about my weight... so, I guess he can't win! xoxo 

Ruth - At your weight I am sure it was a compliment! As for my situation, there is no reason to be offended by the truth. Will just add it to my growing list of "wake up calls". I have so many wake up calls lately my ears are ringing.  

A couple of weeks after my younger daughter was born (a difficult VBAC), my (now) ex complained about how fat I was (I weighed about the same after the birth as I do now). Not in the frame of mind to mince words, I told him that I had just had his baby and that he should think I was f'g beautiful. He kept it up off and on for probably a year. What a cretin he was. So, Buffy, by comparison, your DH's comment was mild. I think that some men just don't realize how insensitive and hurtful such talk can be.  

I was oblivious how big I was years ago at over 250 for a 6 foot 2 man. Then I went into a Walmart fitting room. Yikes! That was long ago. I am trimmer now, and I have a mirrored-wall kitchen now so I can see I am getting thinner again. I am under 230 now. I want to get just under 210 again. Sometimes encouragement can help - my younger sister had put on maybe 40 pounds last year. I said nothing. She is not stupid. She told me she knows how to diet. ? It hasn't worked yet, though.  

Funny dude, your husband. The ladies are right, but it seems like you have a good relationship with your husband, and you don't seem much bothered by it. I guess it was his way of participating in your weight loss.  

SW1204 - My X was like that too - maybe why he is my X? 

Glenn - it is probably kind not to say anything. As you know, weight is 99% emotional.  

Heather - Yes, we have a great relationship. When he gains weight I just rub his belly (like a Buddha) - maybe not the most tactful thing I could do either!  

Haha. LOL 

Buffy - I don't say anything. My father mentioned my younger sister's daughter is getting huge. I said nothing. Eat to live, not live to eat - or there's trouble. And not all thin people are anorexic. I went into the gym, some of these women (or men) run a good three miles or five miles a day. I ended my gym membership as I ached too much from arthritis.  

a little tummy on a man is like a pillow, on a girl... ya gotta love your hubby, at least he notices youz :-) 

Glenn - wise call. 

Lizzy - You are so right - there is definitely a double standard there!  

my EX use to ask me " How much do you weigh now?", kind of insensitive. But as someone else said, sounds like you have a good relationship with your husband.  

WHAT???? Well......let's give him the benefit of the doubt.....perhaps he knew that YOU were worrying about that slight uptick and because HE couldn't see any difference, he thought he'd ask you how much. Yup....that's exactly the way he meant it. :)