clairsheart's Journal, 07 Mar 20

I saw a comment of yours so went to your sight. I was surprised to see that you were following me at one time. So now I am reading your back journals to learn more about you and am surprised that you sound like a cheerful person but you are on depression meds. You mention prayer, so may I ask you to pray for me? You said on February 26 “No sinking feelings, no black hole. I just keep praying.” I'm afraid I'm going into a black hole. I've been there before and it's very scary. You probably will suggest meds. I hadn't even thought of that. My husband is not a believer, and the last 6 weeks have been worse than in many, many years between us. I have been mostly gone from FS since about September and today is my first day of writing much. When I tell on FS what he is saying to me, most people say leave. Fulla Bella and Debbie Cousins have been two of the few that understand I have to stay. Debbie has been in a terrible place for quite a while. Fulla Bella was a wonderful caretaker to her husband for many years, and it was a hard, hard road for her. I admire her greatly. I didn't think she would understand my probable obsessiveness with my thinking and my Christianity, but she has been very kind to me. I love her so much but don't leave comments. Of course she is great fun. My goodness, what a tremendous mind! She lost her husband several years ago and was gone from FS for about 2 years. Of course, she understands I could lose my husband at any time. He will be 84 in a couple of weeks and has many health problems. I am very low, and getting more and more depressed. I'm sorry if I have taken over your comments section.  

Hunny you sound like you got alot on your plate. Yes if I didn't have my meds and recovery, I wouldn't be able to live each day. Find a therapist to help you. God put these people out there to help us. He gave them the intelligence and compassion to do their jobs. Don't wait. Get started. Good luck hunny.