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Good Morning. I'm still waking up!! Last night the wind started blowing and it smelled smoky so getting to sleep was a little more difficult than usual. We live on 20 acres of wooded forest so whenever we smell smoke we are a little anxious about how close the fire might be. Of course sometimes, especially when the wind is blowing, the smoke can be from a long ways off. The skies don't look smoky this morning so I think we are in the clear.
My girlfriend, who was going to go shopping with me today, called last night and told me she couldn't go. She said her hubby had a 'honey do' list for her today and told her she couldn't go. What?? She and her hubby have an interesting relationship. I like the guy but he is a little bit of a control junkie. I am disappointed but I'll still go. I planned on going alone initially ... just sounded much more fun with company. Oh well. Such is life.
So, I'll exercise, have some breakfast, pack some food so I'm not tempted by all the goodies out there in the big wide world and see if I can find any good bargains!! Listen to some good music on the drive, I'll still have a good time.
I'm excited my mom will be home tomorrow. She's bringing some things home, letters I wrote to my grandfather when I was a kid!! When she and her sisters got together one sister had some things of my grandfather's. He's been gone many, many years (almost 30) but had an evil wife (yes it seems to happen a lot in my family ... those evil spouses) who kept everything!! We didn't get much but there are a few trinkets, pictures, and my mom scored his old pocket watch. It will be fun to see what I wrote ... what I thought was important to tell my grandfather about my life when I was young. It will also be fun to see old pictures of my grandfather ... he was quite a character.
So today I'll again focus on what I am grateful for this day ...
1. I have a husband who is my partner ... while we always check in with each other about plans ... I never ask 'permission' nor does he ... he was SO excited that I was going to get to spend time with my girlfriend ... and as disappointed as me when she called late last night to cancel.
2. I have a FREE day ... a day to putz around and play!!!
3. My weight is in a healthy range for my body and I am learning to accept that this is NORMAL for me!!! No more self flagellation!!!
4. We have a pile of logs that should more than fill our woodshed for winter!!
5. Going out with my hubby this weekend, I never tire of spending time with him, I am so grateful for him.
Pilates awaits me. Breakfast awaits me. Today has arrived and I will practice kindness to myself today.
I hope everyone is doing fine. I find myself thinking about buddies who have been gone for a while, wondering how they are doing. I have lost weight so many times in my life. I have gained weight so many times in my life. I have promised myself many, many times when I have lost weight in the past that I won't gain it back and until now ... I always have. Did something magical happen? Did I finally discover the secret? Well, yes ... I think I did discover the secret but it isn't magical at all. The secret, for me, is to stay mindful, to learn how to be at peace with me, with hunger, with my body, with my life. I've slowly learned that it isn't "all or nothing" that I really can have my cake and eat it too!!! I just can't eat a whole cake everyday ... and I no longer want to ... it is amazing. I no longer feel 'at war' with myself. I no longer feel controlled by food and my desire to eat it.
I do not believe I am addicted to food. I do believe I had a very unhealthy relationship with food and with myself for many years. This journey has been in part about waking up ... waking up to who I am. Let's continue on together, discovering what works for each of us, finding a way to be at peace with US, finding a way to live honorably with our whole self, body, soul, mind, spirit ... however you may see yourself. I can never thank you all enough for being here, sharing in my journey, sharing yours. So ... as the advertisements now on fatsecret encourage us ... "DO THE NUMBERS! Calories in minus calories out = success!" but Also ... do the math of your internal conversation ... kind thoughts in minus self abusive thoughts out = SUCCESS!!!! This is much, much more than a numbers game my friends ... this is about living well with ourselves.
Have a wonderful day ... embrace where you are today, let yesterday go!
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82.1 kg
Lost so far: 35.5 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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1413 kcal
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Fat: 49.50g | Prot: 86.61g | Carbs: 169.74g.
Breakfast: Jarlsberg Lite, water, large egg, La Tortilla Factory Tortilla. Lunch: Jarlsberg Lite, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins, yoplait light thick & creamy yogurt, ground beef, banana, Hellman's Mayo. Dinner: boneless chicken wings, coleslaw. Snacks/Other: Select 55. more...
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2642 kcal
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Exercise:
Pilates - 50 minutes, Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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steady weight
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