abbadabba's Journal, 01 Oct 09

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Stress. My stomach hurts, I feel nauseous when I think about eating, I eat donuts and more donuts, I wake in the middle of the night worrying about things that I really don't need to worry about. Stress.

Last night my soon-to-be-ex and I had an argument like all of our old arguments. I remember now why I think this pending separation/divorce is going to work for me. But there is stress. He stopped packing his stuff and now the empty boxes are all over the place, blocking doorways, taking up space, NOT moving us forward. Ack. Can't get the furniture rearranged, can't figure out what he is taking, can't get to some of the stuff that I want to free-cycle cause his stuff is in the way. Can't get the treadmill downstairs to use, all the couches are still in the way and he is taking the couches eventually - hopefully on the 16th. Haaahh, stress. Our "new lives" lay ahead after THE MOVE but this is a lot like prolonged labor - painful and you have to get through it, there is no easy way around it.

My job is boring these days, and tedious, and the commute is 1 to 2 hours long EACH WAY. Stress. My back hurts by the time I get to work, from stop-and-go traffic. I'm hungry but too stressed to go and get anything cause the healthy stuff is a car-ride away, and the fattening donuts are RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

Baby daughter asked a boy out on a date and he said NO. OMG - stress. The guy is a dope! But it makes me sad that he said no, and she has never been on a date, so she really put herself out there to ask him out. She is stressed, I am stressed. Gah.

So, I haven't been exercising, haven't tracked one day of food in weeks, eating willy-nilly whatever is in the fridge, and still: garage isn't painted, brother/contractor not returning calls, cousin/contractor still doesn't have a new phone. Geesh. It's no wonder I don't want to weigh myself.

Thanks for listening - I read and try to comment in a positive way to all, because I see that we all struggle, we all have our down days, and sharing really does help. Hope your day (and mine!) is on the upswing!

View Diet Calendar, 01 October 2009:

1529 kcal

Fat: 65.36g | Prot: 47.94g | Carbs: 191.02g. Breakfast: hash browns dunkin donuts, Coffee with Skim Milk. Lunch: dunkin donuts croissant sausage. Dinner: butter, duncan hines cake, ham, risotto, corn on cob. Snacks/Other: weight watchers peanut butter bar. more...

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i am so sorry...dealing with stress is part of the lifestyle that you have choosen...remember that this is not a diet it is a lifestyle and life will interupt...good luck

01 Oct 09 by member: veggies yuk

Wow Abba you are going through a lot right now and it's no wonder you are feeling stressed. It is so hard to function with stuff all over the place and especially with what you are going through. It probably feels like constant confusion and that is not good for you and then on top of it you are worried and feeling bad for your daughter. You are right it is too much stress. You need to relax this weekend and try to clear your mind of some of this stuff and start looking ahead to when things will slowly get better. It is so hard to be positive when all these changes are happening all at once. Abba do something just for yourself this weekend. Something that will make you feel good and relieve some of the stress. Get a mani and pedi...something just for you. You deserve it and remember we are here for you always! Hugs

01 Oct 09 by member: chattycathy1955

{{{{{hugs}}}}}Oh honey! I am so sorry for all the things you have to go through to "get to the other side." I have been down that path myself and can not tell you how to deal with it since the situations are different (aren't they all??)... All I can say is you will get through this and to try and give yourself a break of some kind if you possibly can-even if it is just a mental break. One of my favorite things when I was stuck in traffic each morning and evening (once upon a time) was to get books on tape (cd now!) and listen to those on the car ride. The library had them for free and they really helped me to focus less on the jerk cutting me off or all my "to do" lists in my head or what was so wrong with everything and everyone around me. I learned a few things too when borrowing some on budjeting and such! :) And if it were me-I would take all the hubby's boxes and put them in one location-break em down if you have to and stick them behind the sofa for the time being! You and the children need to have some feeling of "home" and messes every where are not only stressful for you but for them as well. I actually think he would understand that if you let him know that the messes are not good for the kids and that you all need to live your lives in as much peace as possible during this time. OK...hopefully I have not over stepped here. I know you are trying your best to get through this rough time and hope you will be through it quickly and with as little pain as possible. {{{{{{{{{more hugs}}}}}}}}}

01 Oct 09 by member: dawn0001

There are two "up sides" to your post. First - you recognize that what you are experiencing is stress. Acknowledging it, facing it, and employing effective strategies to cope with it will help a little. Just a little. Second - you have a place to come to let it all out. Life will bring us all sucky circumstances and we'll continue to develop wisdom and character as we bob and weave with every punch. God love ya - Girl! Lord knows we all do!

01 Oct 09 by member: poet-in-motion

I moved some boxes - it makes a big difference! Put them behind the bookcase, and moved a full one away from the basement door. So much better.

01 Oct 09 by member: abbadabba

Wow abba yeah you do have a lot going on in your life but it seems like your handling it very well. Vent all you want if it makes feel better but you know that already.

02 Oct 09 by member: splendidhammer

Isn't it interesting when we are so stressed that doing something so simple and concrete as moving a box or two helps us regain some balance? I felt that way yesterday when I was able to set up a consultation appointment and shuffle some papers on my table at home. Nothing else had changed ... I was just able to do "something." I know our circumstances are quite different but I'm right there with you ... working on dealing with the stress ... each moment the best we can!! Take care!

02 Oct 09 by member: madaboutmoose

I can relate to much of the stress you expressed, but the one that jumped out at me was about your 'baby girl' asking a boy out and being rejected. I also have a teenage girl who is a junior in high school....and nothing is more stressful to me than to see her in pain....if only we could 'fix' everything for them so they wouldn't have to go through the 'stuff' we had to go through as teenagers (and adults). Anyway, I'll keep good thoughts for your little girl's happiness, cause of all your stress (and there's plenty!) that might bring you the most relief - and joy.

02 Oct 09 by member: doit2it

hey hon :) you're beautiful, smart, hard-working and interesting. You're a great mom and your daughter is lucky to have you beside her through all her ups and downs. Your strength and love are apparent and before you know it, the sun will reward you by shining on you again. A new day. Every day is a test and I believe with your positive outlook, you'll rise above them all!! May God grant you the enthusiasm to wake up each morning ready to take on the day! And remember, sometimes the last thing we feel like doing, is the best thing for us. You'll be rewarded for doing whats hard. :D Hugs my dear, have a great night.

02 Oct 09 by member: sarahlynn24


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