davidsprincess's Journal, 04 Dec 22

The first (12/1) started a recommitment- restart- whatever... I've said that 100's of times. Made it to the gym. Didn't make it Friday, Saturday, or today- but have been really active with cleaning and walking the pups. My fitbit will not sync and I find it incredibly frustrating when it shows only 2000 steps on here and 9-10K is more accurate- but it is what it is. My house is ALMOST immaculate. Still need to get laundry put away which is the most dreaded task in the world for me. Tomorrow I will be up at 4 and to the gym by 5:30. My quiet mornings which are filled usually with coffee and quiet reading and/or prayer tend to fly by even when I am moving in slow motion. I know that for me- I need to be at the gym and lifting by 6 a.m. and home by 7:30 to keep on schedule walking the dogs, having time for a high protein breakfast and getting to work by 9 or so. I plan to do that daily and then be home in time to make dinner and clean up and walk the dogs again and get in bed early. I have been taking the generic equate brand of unisom to sleep. Doxylamine. It comes in 25 mg tablets and I took one and slept about 9-10 hours and felt like I was still tired. I was astonished with having slept through the night- but wondered what the point is to finally sleep only to still feel tired... And so now I take a 1/2 tab. It helps me get to sleep (which was never the issue) but then to easily go back to bed after I get up to go to the bathroom at 1 or 2. David continues to do well-as I get fatter by the day- which makes me feel worse. I bought myself a new wig. It's really pretty. I intended to use it as motivation and not wear it until I got below 200 pounds but then I thought- fuck that. I am not going to punish myself. After 40+ years of doing that- guess what? It doesn't work. And so it is super cute and I have worn it 3 times so far. I hope I have a long period of time with no serious tragedy or major changes or bumps in the road because I have not learned how to deal with that quite yet. I went to a retirement party for our CFO on the 1st and had to decline the cookies and chocolate covered strawberries and other goodies. I have to be "that person" who cannot eat in moderation. I am back to being the one cookie=the whole pack, and that sucks. For so long I was eating whatever I wanted in a calorie deficit and practicing being normal. One cheat day or meal was not leading to more and more- I simply got back on it the very next day. How did I do that? I am trying to remember. And that's about it on my end. The pups are keeping me very busy. The newest one, Oscar, is super destructive. I tried hard to make it work by just letting him be gated in the kitchen which is pretty big- but he busted into the lazy susan. After getting childproof locks on that, he decided to actually pull up a section of the quarter round (trim). He does things that Pablo would not dream of doing. I had to break down and get him an extra large crate. I hate to put him in there. I think it sucks to get a dog only to then crate him, but he is going to get seriously injured either from eating quarter round or having my foot up his ass. He seems to like it and it is his own little space with a super comfy bed and it makes me feel less sad for having to do it. It also helps me keep my sanity and not freak out about what he may be destroying. But I know Pablo is sad that he can't play with him all day. He is in there from 9-12. Then I come home and take them in a quick walk and then he is back in there from about 12:45-3:40 when the kids get home. :( Oh well. Maybe he will grow out of the chewing at some point. Well- I just wanted to check in. Goal is to be under 200 pounds by 3/1. Can't imagine when I will be back to 170's but think it is best to set small goals for now. Wish me luck.

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1774 kcal

Fat: 75.25g | Prot: 70.78g | Carbs: 199.39g.   Breakfast: Butter, Bays Original English Muffin, Coffee, Frigo Light Mozzarella Cheese Stick, Naturegg Eggs, Dunkin' Donuts Glazed Donut, Nabisco Premium Saltine Crackers Original. Lunch: Chili, Mrs Baird's Large White Bread, Kraft 2% Milk American Cheese Singles, Potato Chips, Nabisco Nutter Butter. Dinner: Pro2Snax Sliced Apples with Chocolate Caramels & Pretzels, Lean Cuisine Marketplace Chicken Fried Rice. more...

2218 kcal

Exercise: Fitbit - 24 hours. more...