Thursday - April 10th - and I'm thinking about declaring Bellawood a Sovereign State and inventing my own weight loss calculation system. Something in between imperial and metric math with a little bit of love and insanity stirred in and topped of with immeasurable appreciation and forgiveness.
For example, I think I'll start weighing in here daily based on what I 'feel' I weigh that day. Some days I feel so light, limber, and energetic I'd swear on a stack of pancakes I've reached my original (but now seemingly unattainable) goal weight of 150. Other days I feel so fatigued, stiff, and heavy I'd swear I went back to my original start weight of 300 overnight. And sometimes those days happen in the same week. I'd drive the FS scale remark application crazy and probably end up on the 'featured' page too.
Maybe I'll record my food the same way. Give myself a lower recording when I eat mindfully to meet hunger needs only. When I eat too much of something, even if it's a low calorie but high quantity soup or salad, record it as triple. If I eat to beyond hunger and find myself waddling around like I'd just left Sizzlers it costs me in RDI points.
And how about 'activity'? I was thrilled to be able to haul TWO cases of water at the same time this morning as well as felt my heart race when I realized I did NOT have to unbuckle the seat belt to make a drive thru bank deposit ((and the interior of the bank was closed lest the question of 'parking and walking inside' be asked)). That outta be worth more 'energy out' points than walking two miles on a treadmill, shouldn't it? Starting to follow me with this logic?
I'm just thinking of another method to keep this 'way of life' fresh and avoid it running out it's 'shelf life' and expiring as I am approaching my 'two year' anniversary. I've done it before. The free fall roller coaster of the initial weight loss gradually morphs into an elementary school 'merry go 'round'. It's not that I don't 'like' eating and feeling healthy; just somewhere in me is that 'thing' that gets complacent and stops paying attention. I don't want to start taking myself for granted at this phase of my journey. Well, not just this phase, ever. But how to keep the focus going day after week after month after year?
This topic caught my attention recently when I stumbled across an internet article sharing Kirstie was returning as the XBrand diet spokesperson so I guess Valerie is taking a break. Both have regained at least 30lbs since their SP days and Val was on a talk show recently stating quite adamantly that we as women should give each other a break about our weight.
So let me confess the cheeky things that went through my mind:
** I'm so glad I'm not famous enough to have had my FIVE weight losses and regains publicly splashed across tabloids like Kirstie and Oprah; at least my humilitation was only on a local and personal scale (pun intended)
** If the rich and famous can't keep their weight off with private cooks, trainers and a full entourage how are normal folk like us supposed to do it?
** Gee, I don't remember either of you being so kind and accepting of weight when you were showing off your slim body for the commercials
** Did y'all regain the weight while still eating Xbrand prepackaged food or did it lose it's allure along the way?
** Did Xbrand offer a back up plan to help deal with the overeating, binge eating and other things that lead to weight gain?
** Okay, you broke your foot. For that I'm sorry. Does that give every injured person the right to gain? What if it's a permanent injury? Is this parced out like insurance ala X amount for fingers vs XX amount for a whole hand.
That's enough. You get the idea. As a lifelong yo-yo dieter (( or as some people think me, just an out & out Yo-Yo period - I'll say it first WAYNE)) I've chased the elusive magic beans too. Every plan worked for a while especially when I've been morbidly obese and the first 50lbs practically FELL off I always felt I was right on track with whatever plan I chose. Even the first 100lbs has come off in under a year every time. Magic, right?
Wrong. I've been through this enough times now to speak on an expert mode; I've earned my stretch marks and saggy skin. I've paid my dues.
Everything can work for anyone for a while. It's like a new relationship, brand new car, or that great pair of shoes that felt so great when first tried on in the store.
In a way, it's like marriage. Once the honeymoon is over... then what? There are a ton of us (another pun intended) who've heard the groans of those closest to us whenever we've decided to try 'another diet'. Yeah, yeah, I know... it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Call it what you will, label it however it works, but it's a diet. One we have to stay on for the REST of our lives or we'll end up on the cover of our own local in-house National Enquirer too.
I am doing that 'love yourself' challenge because I have this voice in my head that tells me of all things I do really, really, really well (such an ego) keeping weight off and being healthy on the 'long game' isn't one of them.
Well, it's time. It's MY time. It's MY TIME to GET IT RIGHT.
And I will do whatever insane off the charts makes no sense seems silly thing it takes to keep me coming back, paying attention to my food, loving
myself, and trying to live healthy for the rest of my life. Even it if means seceding from the nation for CICO tracking purposes.
Bella
