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It's been a couple of crazy weeks! My other Aunt landed in the hospital with Mitral Valve Regurgitation. We were all terrified we'd lose her, too. She had open heart surgery last week. They sent her home Wednesday. Big sigh of relief. She has a long road to recovery, but the prognosis is good. Now if we can all get vaccinated, maybe we can visit this Summer.
What's been happening with the eating disorder? Well, my nutritionist initially asked me to break my fast earlier so I could fit another meal in. Usually, I eat 4 or 5 hours after I get up: one egg, two pieces of toast. I did my best for a week, but I didn't really know what to eat when it was lunchtime, and that had me scrambling. One day I had second breakfast. LOL! Then I found out my friend's daughter started a vegan meal service. Her menu includes things like quinoa power bowl, chana palak, masala, spaghetti squash bolognese... 14 meals for only $70. Now my husband and I have meals ready at lunchtime, and we know they are whole, nutritious, and balanced.
During this week, my nutritionist asked me to eat a second egg and add avocado at breakfast. The first day, I literally had a panic attack over it: hyper-ventilating, trembling... I was so frustrated with myself! It colored my whole day. Then I ate one of Kell's meals. Then we had dinner. SO MUCH FOOD. I've been freaking out all week because I know I must be packing on the pounds with all this food! Thank goodness we got my ribs moving again, because I've been doing a lot of breathing to help with the anxiety. Yesterday, I got on the scale just before my therapy appointment. I wanted her to help me work through the meltdown I knew was coming.
210.6
It's the same? It's the same. IT'S THE SAME! How is this even possible?!
WAHOO!
BY the way... the more I talk about having an eating disorder, the more people I find who also struggle with disordered eating. I find it hard to say out loud because I don't "look" like society thinks someone with an eating disorder looks like. Not everyone is emaciated!
Well, I just thought I'd update y'all. The depression is less oppressive and I'm feeling a little better. My next nutrition appointment is this afternoon and I wonder what fresh hell she is going to inflict upon me this week.
Until next time: be well, be safe, be happy!
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