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Heading into the Fourth of July with a desire to change. New beginnings, new endings, this must be a good time to start.
A friend shared her own pain recently, and I am finding as she did that new joy does not eliminate old heartache. A loss is not dealt with by a gain - the loss is still there. Her thought was this - love is not explainable, so the loss of love is also not explainable and coping is not necessarily something that can be rationalized.
I can control what I eat, I can't control what other people do that hurts me - suddenly the idea that eating will make me feel better seems ridiculous.
Where is my kindness? I will be kind to me and keep my life balanced - sadness should make me cry, but then, the joys in my life need to be celebrated too.
So - here is to independence of action: eat to sustain health. Cry to lament sadness and lack of kindness from others. Drink in moderation because it is done in company to celebrate.
Hope you have a great day, come what may!
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 Comments
Excellent conclusion abba, have a great Fourth!
03 Jul 10 by member: information
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Truly beautiful journal today Abba. You are going to be fine, and you are definitely moving in the right direction. Have a wonderful 4th.
03 Jul 10 by member: The Next Number
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Yes awesome Abba! You have control over what you eat, how much you exercise and how you take care of yourself. Use the things you have control over to shape your life and make you happy. It is no sense worrying about what we can't fix. We can not control how others behave or their feelings. We can only control ourselves. Have a Happy 4th!!!
03 Jul 10 by member: chattycathy1955
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abba, you have some great thoughts here- lets all follow them:)
03 Jul 10 by member: Baileyboo
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Abba I am so happy you are finding all these "new truths." Those moments in time when we come to these realizations are so profound and can change us and our future for the better in more ways than you can know in the moment they happen. I am so glad you are facing the unkind and hurtful truths head on and finding new ways to be good to yourself. How wonderful! :) ***jumping up and down hugs!****
04 Jul 10 by member: dawn0001
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Great thoughts. Hope you are feeling some joyfulness today. The sad things come at us, but it sometimes seems we have to go out of our way to find enough joy to balance that out. Not that I'm very good at that--but I'm trying. Happy 4th, Abba.
04 Jul 10 by member: beets_yum
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Abba ... poignant. It is true that joy doesn't replace or 'fix' loss or pain. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. As you know ... being kind to myself is an ongoing theme for me. It is so easy to lose my way. When I practice kindness towards myself life is better for me. It doesn't take away the struggles I have, nor the pain that inevitably comes my way. It does keep me more balanced and that is good. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, there is much to be learned, enjoyed, and sometimes endured along the way. Take care Abba!!
06 Jul 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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Abba ... poignant. It is true that joy doesn't replace or 'fix' loss or pain. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. As you know ... being kind to myself is an ongoing theme for me. It is so easy to lose my way. When I practice kindness towards myself life is better for me. It doesn't take away the struggles I have, nor the pain that inevitably comes my way. It does keep me more balanced and that is good. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, there is much to be learned, enjoyed, and sometimes endured along the way. Take care Abba!!
06 Jul 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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abbadabba's Weight History
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