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Well, I am a talker, and I think the night work is holding me back from getting all the talking in that I need. Can't talk to the guys, but I have a cousin who works weird firefighter hours, so he has been calling me and we talked last time for over an hour. He is also separated from his spouse, but he is having a worse time of it than I am, so we both seem to be benefitting from the conversations.
Also, my ex got back to town after a business trip of 3 weeks and stopped by to get some stuff out of the garage - we had a nice chat and I have to say, I feel good that we could talk. I think that we always did that - made decisions quickly, and then worked out the details afterwards between us over the course of weeks or months. He also seemed conscious of my anxiety over the money situation, and that is comforting. I feel lucky that several people who are rational have reviewed my financial situation and are positive in their evaluation of my situation.
My sister has been calling me, and she is funny and also divorced so she reminds me that murder is NEVER the answer! Too funny.
Anyway, I am getting beyond my anxiety. Giving it a time to surface every day and monitoring just how bad it is has helped me - I read that it is good to give in to panic sometimes if you are in a controlled environment, because, at some point, the rational side of your mind goes "Gee, whiz, enough already, move on!" and that is what is happening for me. Every little step to the "other side" of divorce is making it easier to go there. I had a coffee break with an old acquaintance recently, and it seemed a little strained, but then, reaching out to someone you last saw in 8th grade is not a natural occurence. It turns out she works a mile away from me, also on the night shift, so it's not a bad fit for someone to hang out with on a weekly basis.
So, this has been a good week, and I seem to have started losing again - must be the fact that I have cut down on junk food and am getting out doing yard work and walking a little! Funny how that actually works! It really is all in the numbers.
Hope you have a good weekend!
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