peeperjj's Journal, 04 Nov 18

Last sentence 👍. Uh, you gave birth to her, not the other way around. Damn Peeper, you are thee most patient mother ever. ❤ 

I didn't want to add fuel to the already burning fire. So, I will say it does get better. We raised 4 kids, 5 years apart. Some years I felt like a single parent and had those days where I would call the bank to see how much I could take with me when I would finally run away and leave the kids with their dad. I never did and eventually the kids grew up and matured. I can say that we feel very blessed to know that our kids love and appreciate us. It will get better. ❤  

Haha nope. I don’t know the definition of patient. Ask Chris!🤣I just know that if I smack her I’m liable to make it worse. She’s already basically said she can tell everyone I ‘tried’ to slap her and get me in trouble so that she doesn’t have to listen to me anymore. I had to explain exactly what would happen if she lied like that and how she would have all of the kids taken away and separated just because she’s a brat. Her response was... ‘that’s ok. They’ll let Macy be with me right?’ Umm no. She doesn’t care about her other sister me or her dad and made that obvious. So told her to go ahead because I’m recording her behavior now and will gladly turn that over to the police. She was shocked that I’d consider some small cameras or some with just audio. She’s says it’s not fair lol. I haven’t ordered them yet. But if she keeps it up then I’ll get them so she doesn’t take her sisters from me. As hubby said, ‘if your mom tried to hit you she would’ve succeeded. There is no trying when you slap someone’. Oh well. I’ll have her cleaning every minute she’s free until the attitude changes. My house should be spotless soon! And I’m still eyeing the candy as my sweet middle brought me three pieces she dislikes knowing I like them. Oldest wanted them but she’s been mean so the middle said nope, mommy can have them.  

Smart strategy. Some kids just learn the hard way, which is sad for them.  

I hope it does! My counselor has 5 kids and the youngest is in high school. She says it gets better but has on in early 20’s that still has this attitude. 😳 She says he’s coming around but even now argues with her a lot and thinks she doesn’t know anything. Hey I’ve still got two who like me! 2 out of 3 is 67% and that’s a passing grade haha. Joking of course. Also told her she better show some appreciation this season. Daily practices (hubby takes her mostly), weekly games, helping practice at home, going to watch and bringing her home and buying her dinner out... all that will stop if she starts in again on how I do nothing for them and am the laziest person she’s ever met (my nap yesterday instead of folding her clothes). I keep remembering what would’ve happened to me if I’d have said these things to my mom lol.  

There's always one kid that you butt heads with. I have had it out with all 4 of my kids at one time or another. Once they get a certain age that attitude of everything being their parents fault, gets really old and only makes them look bad. My mother used to say, "Thank God you girls take turns!" 😄😁😃 

im not a parent so disregard this hahahaha. i treat brat kids like mongrel dogs, I simply pin them on the ground until they work out 1)I'm the boss and 2) I'm not putting up with your rubbish. parents generally don't like it but by the end of my visit the dogs sit and the kids are polite so it works 👍 

@Becca, thank goodness it’s only this child! The youngest is 4 so we have some tantrums occasionally but for the most part she’s really good. My middle is almost 10. She’s the sweetest child ever. She’s starting to get sassy. Not bratty yet but she mouths off to the oldest quite often now. She’s just had enough and I constantly remind her that she has a choice. She can make the right one and walk away or make the wrong one and sass back which leads to more sass on both sides. My oldest started this at 7. She’s almost 13! Hubby keeps saying 1) it’ll get better when she leaves home and 2) avoid her. I don’t want it to take another 5 1/2-6 years and I’m her mom and can’t avoid her. He’s not willing to take her on his trips, farming, gym etc. How do you avoid a child for an hour every morning and 5 hours every evening? Especially since she won’t do her homework until I yell at her. Same with her ONE chore she has left-cleaning her room. Oh and collecting eggs once a day but she bullies her sister into doing it. Once again tonight he told me that we need to stay away from her like I’m the adult and it’s my job. Ok so I won’t feed her or have her do her homework or ask how her day was or break up fights she starts with her sister. He can’t even stand to be around her long because she’s started bitching at him. Her grades are slipping and soon she will be out of sports. Good for me cause more time but she’s said if she fails then she will blame me and make my life hell. Like I’m supposed to do her work lol. Forget that! Ugh.  

@Keith, when did you say you were coming for a visit?? I’d love to knock her on her ass once and see if that helps. I’ve just had enough. But I also know with her it wouldn’t work. She would just call the cops or tell the school I’ve beaten her for years like she threatened to do. Except this time she would have a bruise to ‘prove it’. She used to hit her legs and say she would tell her teachers to call the cops and tell them I did it. Said the same after a spanking so now I’m afraid to spank her. Plus she’s my size lol. Well we are about equal in strength upper body, same height, she’s stronger in her legs I think, knows karate and I have 20# on her. Hubby says it would be an even right when she casually asks if he thinks she could beat me up. What kid asks their dad if he thinks she can beat up her mom?? Counselor says it’s hormones and maybe depression. She won’t open up except to complain about my cooking and how I won’t buy her the new iPhone or $100 shoes and jackets. For heavens sake, she wants a $50 pair of sweats and she only wears sweats about once a month! North face, Victoria secret, Nike, under armour... She’s now not happy knowing I bought her $500 worth of Christmas presents with those brands making up 8 items. Now she insists on knowing what they are and seeing them so I can take them back if she’s changed her mind! Yeah I’m ready for someone to help her realize where she’s going wrong. Loving and respecting family is more important than name brands, always getting your way and what you think others have and therefore must have yourself even if you have to try and bully people into buying it for you. She’s tried with her sister to the point I’ve asked to keep the Christmas money because my middle will give her $100 so that she can be left alone.  

Ah missed one, Becca, she’s really not learning at all. Her lesson learned today? I’m lazy and will force her into slave labor to do my bidding and make her take orders from me. I also enjoy making her miserable and want to act like we are poor to keep the money for myself because I have my own phone and have had since I got married and she has to share with her sister and can’t be on it from 8pm until after school. I’m an abusive tyrant if you listen to her. It sucks for me but I can’t imagine how hard life will be for her if she doesn’t figure it out soon. She won’t keep a job because she can’t do anything without mouthing off and telling someone to do it themselves. She will never have money or a nice home because she spends money as soon as she gets it. She’s not happy unless everyone around her is fighting, mad or crying. I was hoping to force counseling but the counselor said no use as she focuses on what I cook and how I’m lazy then asks her to tutor in math lol.  

Hey peeper I said pin down not knock on their ass hahahaha. Big difference. I'm stubborn i once held a German Shepherd down for well over an hour hahahaha. In 5 years sharka has not jumped on me again👍 Most kids learn in about 10 mins. I'm not ever rough.... Ever but being pinned down gets the point across. Next time she says she is going to call the authoritys you should call her bluff! I would through her in the car and get down to closets station and not leave until she walks in and explains just how hard done by she is. With any luck the cop will just pin her down lol  

I wouldn't give her anything for Xmas Maybe a documentary on a third world country hoping it gives her some perspective? 

Peeper, I hope you do get help to deal with her. She sounds like she is miserable and taking it out on everyone around her. It's so hard when you're children don't want better for themselves. 😔 

I would make her life miserable. Dress her in rags, phone... Not likely Want money to go out??? Lol Sounds like she needs to see what hard is to me.  

Becca thanks. Me too. I’m still considering counseling again but I don’t think it’ll help until she’s ready to go. Hubby can get through to her sometimes but he’s too busy so says ignore her. Ignoring her is going to cause mental/emotional issues as well. So I’ll keep reading books and articles and trying new things until something works!  

Keith, how do you get them down to pin them down? Mom slapped me a couple times and I remember being extremely hurt emotionally and also realizing I never wanted to make her that angry again because she had to feel as bad as I did. I was 16-17 and my phase like this started at 12-13. 3-5 years and I was out of it but mom and I still clashed off and on. This child doesn’t seem to think there is any consequences for her. I take the phone, she sneaks it back. I ask hubby to lock it up, she lies and says I told her she can have it so he hands it over. I tell her to study and she tells me the school has no books. Called and sure enough no books. Found out later they have ‘online books’ and she lied so she wouldn’t have to study or do homework. Her sister makes her mad and she tells her sister what a bad person she is or breaks a toy. She’s got the youngest to tell the middle that she hated her because she wouldn’t do exactly as the oldest said. Her friends parents want nothing to do with us and I can’t even get enough time with them to ask what’s going on. Her friends look at me like I have two heads and won’t speak to me and leave quickly. I can only imagine what she’s spreading around school. Thankfully I’ve known her principal for years and a few of the staff. They know I wouldn’t beat her or starve her or whatever. She tried the starving one and the counselor said ‘wow you look great for a kid who isn’t allowed to have school lunches and never gets to eat at home. How to you stay so healthy and fit when you are being starved? Lol had a good laugh when I heard that one in my appointment;). She was just mad because I stopped buying as much junk and bought water and milk instead of pop and sugary drinks ;). Perhaps if i sat on her it would be the same as pinning down? Let me gain some weight back and I’ll try it ;).  

If it's a dog I wrestle it😄 If it's a kid.... I'm alot bigger hahahaha I simply pick them up place them down on the ground and pin them their until they succumb. No pain just the realisation that they ain't in charge. If they tanty I just hold them their longer. I have more control over kids then their parents do in most cases 👌. I believe all kids actually like discipline but ylits in our nature that you have to be able to back up the discipline physically hahahaha. Their is nothing wrong with being physically with kids, being physical does not mean pain/violence just asserting your power over them. Another example was in the shops a niece was running away into clothes racks all the time.... Not on my watch lol, I held her hand for an hour why she cried kicked and carried on. But she now walks with me every time I shop with em. She knows I'll just grab her hand and their ain't shit she could do about it if I did lol 

I wrestle big dogs all the time. Kinda a hobby lol. I owned Saint Bernards and my mate breeds Irish wolf hounds.... I can get them all on their back except one. Kato scares me lol, can get my head in his mouth so I am cautious not that big boy lol. He does it to show me he's the boss all the time lol 

Haha the dog does it back to you! I do the hand holding thing with my youngest when she tries to run play/hide. It works. Not so much for the 12 year old! She knows we are about even strengthwise. There is no picking her up, setting her down and holding her down I think. I’d have to knock her down and jump on her and sit there until the confusion wore off! I find myself walking away when I feel like violence. She loves getting in my face and shoving up against me saying ‘I didn’t shove you, I accidentally knocked my shoulder against yours’. I give her another year before she tries to hit me and I’ll need to be ready to drop her so she doesn’t do it again. She’s a bully unfortunately. She shoved her sister into the wall constantly, started shoving her to the ground, pinching her, holding her down etc. One day I spanked her once for every time then again every time she mouthed off and at the end I stepped between them and shoved her back. That was 2 years ago I believe and she rarely gets physical with that sister anymore. That’s my middle and she’s very slight. Just over 4’ and 62# whereas my oldest is 110# and 5’. The counselor believes she’s one that will only respond to excessive praise for good behavior and a fine line of making sure she knows who is boss and we won’t tolerate meanness towards sibs and other kids. I’m trying to find that fine line and have NO effect with praise. If I praise her sister she says it means she did something bad and makes her hate us more. Kids 🙄 

I hope that never happens! You only have 1 mum and you owe your life to her. We don't always see eye to eye but my knows I love her. I would do anything for mum! If she ever struck you that would break my heart!