MrsMagyk's Journal, 22 Sep 18

Went over to my parents house last night and sat by the fire. I haven't done this in years. The smell of the smoke was inviting and the company was great.

Went down memory lane for awhile and it brought up some things that I haven't worked through yet. It's amazing how much stuff I have buried over the years. It brought me back to a time when I was depressed. (I hadn't been diagnosed as bi-polar yet.) I don't hate a lot of things in this world, but I definitely hate feeling depressed. The problems from my past keep surfacing lately. I still feel guilty for things that I have done in the past. I know that I have to get over it, but it is hard to forgive myself. My husband tells me that I have nothing to feel guilty for, but looking back I feel like I wasn't proud of who I was. I think a lot of the guilty feeling's have sprung from situations that happened when I was a child. I believe it is still haunting me. I get scared and have panic attacks if I think too much about it, so I try not to. In the grand scheme of things, I wish I could just move on and let the past be the past. Sorry if this post has brought you down, I just needed to get it out.

On a better note. Although my weight-loss has been a struggle, I have overcome many things. I have to say that I do feel healthier both mentally and physically. I just need to keep working on myself. I will take it a day at a time. Put one foot in front of the other, and remember to keep my spirit's up when I get down.

This community has kept me from falling back into my old ways. I have learned so many things from everyone. Having people respond to my posts and support me is incredible. I couldn't ask for better people to be on this journey with. Thank you to all of you.

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1063 kcal

Fat: 31.15g | Prot: 39.82g | Carbs: 166.42g.   Breakfast: Decaffeinated Coffee, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Krusteaz Protein Buttermilk Pancake Mix, Kroger Lite Pancake Syrup, Cinnamon, Quaker Rice Cakes - Cheddar Cheese, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Coffee. Dinner: Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Decaffeinated Coffee, Classico Traditional Favorites Four Cheese Pasta Sauce, Kroger Mini Round Cheese Ravioli. Snacks/Other: Private Selection 62% Cacao Dark Chocolate Chunks, Decaffeinated Coffee, Kroger Roasted Peanuts & Honey Creamy Peanut Butter, Kroger Deluxe Low Fat No Sugar Added Chocolate Frozen Yogurt, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla, Kroger Lemon Lime Sparkling Water, Quaker Rice Cakes - Cheddar Cheese, Coffee, Silk Almond Milk Light - Vanilla. more...

2287 kcal

Exercise: Standing - 1 hour and 45 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 9 hours and 30 minutes, Cooking - 30 minutes, Showering - 5 minutes, Shopping - 15 minutes, Sleeping - 9 hours, Resting - 2 hours and 39 minutes, Washing Dishes - 6 minutes, Driving - 10 minutes. more...