Whew! Finally feel like I'm back on track today. Yesterday's calorie count while over budget wasn't horrible, but it was an eating disaster as far as content. The stress of being back at work with the usual backlog of stuff to do and just getting back into the routine of it had me reverting to old behaviors. A couple weeks ago I boasted that I had my chocolate cravings under control and managed to keep a stash of miniatures in my desk drawer with success. Well I finished off most of that stash for breakfast yesterday, then started in on the stash of popcorn, cheese puffs, and tortilla scoops in my other drawer that I'd also "successfully" managed to control. Thankfully it was a limited stash and I ran out of stuff to eat! By evening I was able to curtail things and finished off the day with a salad.
It does make me realize that my underlying issues of compulsive eating are still there and probably always will be. Once I get started down the wrong path it's truly like an addiction and leads to a cycle - the unwanted behavior with food fuels a compulsion to repeat the same unwanted behavior. A weakness for sure, but understanding that for what it is does help with controlling it - maybe managing it is a better way to express it. I also realize I must be careful and can't allow myself too many indulgences as that way of eating is why I now have 5 stents in my heart.
It's good to know our weaknesses - in knowing and understanding them we can be stronger. So today I will be strong in my weakness, because I choose to not go to the place where I am weak.
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2050 kcal
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Fat: 86.29g | Prot: 131.10g | Carbs: 177.62g.
Breakfast: Trader Joe's Sunflower Seed Butter, Great Value Powdered Creamer, Coffee, David Seeds Ranch Sunflower Seeds. Lunch: Nuts Online Roasted Golden Chickpeas, Toll House Cocoa, Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey - Double Rich Chocolate, Great Value Frozen Whole Blueberries, Spinach (Chopped or Leaf, Frozen), Chobani Simply 100 Black Cherry, Silk Pure Almond Milk - Original. Dinner: Lucerne 2% Milk Cheddar Jack Cheese, Green Peppers, Tomatoes, Publix Fried Chicken Tenders, Sugardale Thick Sliced Bacon, Cucumber (with Peel), Iceberg Lettuce (Includes Crisphead Types), Safeway Light Ranch Dressing, Great Value Light Mayonnaise Dressing, Mission Carb Balance Burrito. Snacks/Other: Cottage Cheese (Lowfat 1% Milkfat), Domex Superfresh Growers Dark Sweet Cherries, Grapes. more...
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