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I keep bouncing inbetween 350 and 349. Suckage. Micahel still hasn't gotten a job and this is the 14th time that we've started trying for a baby that I have been found to be not pregnant. I was so positive this time. I was so sure that we got it. I was feeling funny, had some mood swings (not odd for me honestly) and felt so good about it. then I take a test and I'm wrong. I snapped. Went out to smoke, and ate and ate and ate. I just got depressed. honestly couldn't handle it. With all of the stress, and not being able to keep my job due to my arthritis, and everything. I feel like a failure. And I needed to feel better. And now I feel worse. I feel totally alone in this. I know that I'm not. There are millions of women all around the world who can't get pregnant and they are 100% fit. I have a small cluster of medical problems and none of that helps. I'm depressed is what it is. And I can't seem to get out of it. Sigh.
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 Comments
23 Apr 11 by member: kcook323
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Oh hunny... it sounds silly, but I think you need a goal that is within your control. Getting pregnant is largely a chance thing, and it shouldn't be dependent on how you feel about yourself. YOU ARE AMAZING! With or without kids, you're amazing! I do admit I haven't tried to get pregnant, so I can't fully understand, but I can empathize with you, and I know it's hard when something doesn't go according to plan.
24 Apr 11 by member: BrandyRelaxing
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Bekka, I am sorry you are depressed. Think of it this way. You lose weight you are more healthy and your chances to get pregneant and have a healthy pregnancy can go up. Your body may be telling you it is not ready yet. Sorry about not being able to keep up the job. Again stay motivated to lose weight and get healthy to keep moving. Arthritis at your age is a bummer and will only get worse if you have the weight on. I believe you can do it. So leave the food alone and don't comfort eat. OK? The kiddos will come in time. Getting pregnant is a chancy thing. With both of you out of work right now it could be a blessing to wait a little longer. Just my opinion. Don't shoot the 39 old woman:) You can stay with this. I know you can. The rest will come in time. Patience isn't one of my virtues either.
25 Apr 11 by member: windrider
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BekkaL85's Weight History
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