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Sorry this is a long post, but I have something I want to get off my chest.
I really need to work on expanding my healthy supportive social circle these days because, living in rural Northeast PA, there are NOT a lot of people who are supportive of a healthy lifestyle. Recently, it feels like I only encounter people who are very judgemental and defensive if they see me eating my food and avoiding all of the usual bad options.
This past weekend, I visited my Sig-O's aunt and uncle who invited us to spend the afternoon with them. This was the first time I was meeting them. I packed our foods for the day in a cooler (I always travel with my own food.) and when I kindly smiled, explained that I have certain health goals and I'm becoming a health coach, and politely refused their foods (highly processed foods, fake cheese-like products, soda, alcohol, sugary baked goods, saturated fats galore!), one of my hosts began very harshly critiquing me. I just sat quietly and ate my food, not saying a thing about what they were eating, because it's not my place to lecture strangers about the choices they make. She then began commenting on my size, my body fat percentage (I'm 5'8" and 145 lbs and quite fit!), my skin tone, and I was wondering what on earth I did to deserve such harsh judgement?!?! I wasn't judging their choices. If it wasn't my Sig-O's family, I would have had a lot to say about it, but I just bit my tongue. I couldn't believe how rude she was to a complete stranger, when I could have easily "schooled" her on the ways of nutrition and health (seeing as I've been studying it for years now!) because their food choices were horrific and they're both obese, dying of cancer and chronic preventable/reversible diseases. I suppose if she had taken the time to ask WHY I eat this way, (I have a long history of being obese and VERY ill) and the improvements I've made through adopting an optimally healthy lifestyle (I've never looked or felt better in my LIFE!), she probably wouldn't have been so rude to a complete stranger.
Needless to say, I probably won't be returning there anytime soon and I really need to focus on finding some friends around this part of PA who will be more supportive and live healthier lives.
Living the way I do can be so isolating sometimes. It almost feels like I'm in a cult, of sorts. Making optimally healthy choices is something I believe in so strongly that goes against what most others believe and do. It's quite a sad state of affairs when chronic disease and sedentary lifestyles are the norm and I'm the weird one to be judged because I want to go for a 5-mile run and don't want to shovel food in my mouth that is going to make me feel like crap.
*deep breath* Ok. My rant's over. Carry on, Folks.
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1242 kcal
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Fat: 65.37g | Prot: 47.82g | Carbs: 134.50g.
Lunch: Nutiva Organic Hemp Seed Raw Shelled, Dole Organic Bananas, Wegmans Organic Crunchy Peanut Butter. Dinner: Full Circle Organic Spicy Brown Mustard, Thyme, Colavita Champagne Wine Vinegar, Onions, Minced Garlic, Fresh Lemon Juice, Wegmans Organic Spring Mix, Zucchini, Wegmans Organic Green Lentils, Cucumber (with Peel), Avocados. Snacks/Other: Driscoll's Strawberries, Walnuts, Peach. more...
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2505 kcal
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Exercise:
Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 1 hour, Walking (brisk) - 4/mph - 1 hour, Standing - 2 hours, Resting - 12 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
I have experienced similar things so I somewhat know what you are going through. To be honest, I think the reason this happens is because those people feel bad about themselves...that they know they should be making better choices but don't. And to have you there, doing what they should be made them feel guilty. At least that is what I tell myself when this kind of stuff happens.
05 Aug 14 by member: Arrevanthas
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That's the first thing that came to my mind. Their anger is at themselves more than at you. You're just the visual of what they should be doing, but can't or won't. Because you are doing better, they feel you are showing off. What they should be doing is picking your brain on how you did it and how they could benefit from your experience. See it for what it is and don't take it personally. It's a reflection on them.
05 Aug 14 by member: NowIunderstand
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Their anger and lack of manners is their problem, not yours. Keep making healthy choices for yourself :)
05 Aug 14 by member: lindamiller1
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Ironically, I just found out through other family members today that my impolite hosts thought I was "really sweet" and "simply charming", but I think that's because I chose to be kind instead of being correct and I kept my opinions to myself.
05 Aug 14 by member: Sweeet2th
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Your rant is well-deserved. People fear many things. I have personally participated in such negative behavior in the past and was ashamed of it. I feel it is a personal triumph to have become a kinder, more honest person.
05 Aug 14 by member: gilliansings
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People are at their worst when they are defensive. By modeling your healthy habits and not getting angry in response to their rude behavior, you may end up influencing them to make better choices in the future!
05 Aug 14 by member: smithk81
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I spent the majority of my 20's being "the know-it-all scientist" who just had to prove to everyone in the room that I was right! Thankfully, I have grown out of that phase. Now, I'd rather be kind than be right. It's so much easier to just let people think what they want. You're rarely going to change their opinions anyway.
06 Aug 14 by member: Sweeet2th
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Sweet2th, We made a trip to Ukraine years ago to adopt a child. We didn't drink because my husband's dad was alcoholic (I did before I got married occasionally and do occasionally now). But we were invited by the locals to a huge celebration for us where they basically put a month's worth of grocery money on the table for us and kept urging us to have more "wod-ka". We decided politeness required that we eat and drink at least some of what we were given. I think even though you are practicing good health, as long as it doesn't make you sick to do so, it might serve you better in the long run to eat what is offered out of respect for your hosts (I've had a LOT of practice at offending people but am becoming somewhat wiser -- I hope! -- in my 50's).
06 Aug 14 by member: akaladybug
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I have spent the last 2-3 years reversing and eliminating a pretty nasty auto-immune disease with the way I eat. I'd rather offend someone than get sick again. I'm not willing to gamble with my health anymore just to make others comfortable.
06 Aug 14 by member: Sweeet2th
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Sweeet2th, ya, I totally get it. I didn't mean to offend and I did say "if it doesn't make you sick" :)
06 Aug 14 by member: akaladybug
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No offense taken. :) Unfortunately, eating things I haven't prepared myself isn't a gamble I want to take anymore. I do wish others would see it my way and respect my choices like I respect theirs, but that just isn't the world we live in. People may perceive my reluctance to eat their food as offensive or judgemental, when I really just don't want to eat something that isn't nourishing and healing or will make me sick. :)
06 Aug 14 by member: Sweeet2th
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I think I understand. I have aspbergers and when I started telling people I had a recognizable diagnosis, they seemed to take my struggles with more grace than when I just said I struggled picking up social cues. Too bad you can't say that you have some specific illness that makes you unable to eat the foods you refuse. I don't know why giving it a name seems to make it more acceptable to people -- it's just as real named or not!
10 Aug 14 by member: akaladybug
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