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Had a stupid argument with my 18 y.o. daughter in the car this morning. She moved home last month, and has started a job three towns away, this week. She dropped out of school in March, and stayed in Virginia for several months, trying to make it work down there. It all finally came crashing down, and she came home....and her girlfriend headed home to Alaska.
The job is great, considering her lack of a college degree, and very limited work experience. But she has no car, and has been relying on me, and one of our bikes, to get back and forth. Yesterday she biked there and back...I was proud of her for being able to comfortably do that. But today's forecast was for scattered thunderstorms. I felt safer driving her, than worrying about her riding home through a bad storm.
She wants to get an apartment. Bad. Real bad. Irrationally bad. I understand her desire, but she is broke. I start school next month. I will not be there very often, soon, to be her chauffeur. But, she wants her girlfriend to be able to move out here, and move in with her. So, it makes moving in with other roommates more challenging. Apartments in this area, that are near public transportation, and in a safe area, do not come cheap. But she doesn't want to hear that it will take a little time. Oh yeah, she is going to be going to school, part time, starting in September, to get a paralegal certificate, as well.
While I try to gently explain the realities to her, she is wont to turn on me, and attack me for not being sympathetic. I don't hear what she is trying to tell me. I thought we were talking about cars and apartments, but apparently the conversation was actually about her girlfriend. Silly me.
I was so fed up with her attitude, and attacks for not being supportive...as I drove her to work this morning....that I suggested she get out and walk if I am really so unsupportive. Sheessh. I have never had to live with this level of crazy irrationality before. I know it is the age. She thinks she knows it all already. Yeah. Right.
The rest of the ride was silent.
When I got home, I finally was able to make my breakfast, three hours after I got up this morning. I was busy taking care of everyone else for those three hours. Making coffee for my husband, pancakes for my younger daughter, walking the dog, driving the youngest to the train station, and then back home to pick up the older daughter, to bring her to work. So I guess it was not too surprising that one of those little urges...a subtle little craving, was stirring in me. I wanted something to eat. Something...hmmm....sweet??...no, I don't do that anymore. But yeah, that is what I wanted. I had just had a delicious omelet, and some bacon. I was not hungry. I was annoyed. I was frustrated by this sucky state of affairs with my daughter, where I am always the evil witch, and she is the poor, suffering victim. I wanted to do what I have done in the past....eat away the pain.
Well of course that is completely ridiculous. Food never actually erases the pain. It may make us forget the pain for a few moments when we are in food bliss. But then it is followed by the cloud of guilt. The scale. And all the other health issues that eventually catch up with us. So, I moved on. But, that urge is still there. I still have that instinct for the comfort of food. I have to wonder, will that ever go away?
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2507 kcal
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Fat: 197.84g | Prot: 139.29g | Carbs: 53.28g.
Breakfast: coffee, heavy cream, Collard Greens with Bacon and Onions, parmesan cheese, eggs, coconut oil, bacon, uncured, oscar mayer. Lunch: cashews, trader joe's, mixed salad greens, sliced almonds, avocado, cucumber, olive oil, eggs. Dinner: butter, romano cheese, spinach, caesar salad, sirloin steak. Snacks/Other: peanut butter, cashews. more...
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3651 kcal
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Exercise:
Housework - 1 hour, Driving - 2 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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