grumpy_goat's Journal, 03 Feb 18

It’s been about two months that I’m 54 kg but just didn’t update my FS.
I know it’s not really okay to say it out loud and it may seem weird but I guess I haven’t recovered...
Back in summer that I was being so anorexic and after that I had to recover cause my parents were really angry and upset . And now that I can’t cope with anxiety and how awful is my body image !
I’m having a healthy weight and I workout regularly and eat fine but a healthy body is not always perfect... I was much thinner and skinnier when I weighed 48 kgs (but didn’t exercise regularly)than now that I’m 54 but with 46% muscle and about 20% body fat.
I just want my thin body back :(( I have been restrictive dieting again and I hope the number on scale goes down again...
I just love to see how my fatsecret buddies lose weight and are happy with their lives somehow and they enjoy their food. But sadly I don’t enjoy it at all and I sometimes purge...
I know opening up is so awkward and weird but I just needed to say that all.
Thanks for reading this girl’s concerns and worries :))))
I hope you’re doing well❤️
P.S I will post a picture of my body image today and I know that makes me anxious but Denn is gonna beat this💪🏼☹️

54 kg Lost so far: 11 kg.    Still to go: 0 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.

---

1003 kcal

Fat: 34.75g | Prot: 44.51g | Carbs: 131.51g.   Breakfast: White Bread . Lunch: Baked or Fried Coated Chicken Breast Skinless (Coating Eaten), Boiled Potato (without Peel, Fat Not Added in Cooking), Egg White , Potato French Fries, Cucumber (with Peel). Dinner: Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Apples , Kidney Beans (Liquid, Stewed). Snacks/Other: Butter , White Bread , White Flour, Beef Stew, Kiwi Fruit. more...