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That 2 weeks flew by and has been 4 - I am pretty much back to normal life without the hyperfocus on body recomp experiment.
My weigh ins & measuring go back to 1x mth on the 16th as it has been for 10 years, no more daily weigh ins -- I wanted to prove to myself in this experiment that it *is* possible to gain muscle burn fat and maintain a healthy relationship with myself and food.
Part of me still believes this is possible, but not on a strict timing schedule. For example, I hurt my back 2 weeks ago and havent been able to lift weights since, but have started more pilates type exercise and continue to take walks as weather permits, and eat to my appetite with a few minor adjustments that I have become used to in the program therefore find my average in calories is easier to maintain without much thought, so in a healthier range for my current physical circumstance.
In the past 4 weeks I have maintained weight and measurements but lost some strength due to the back issue. The time with this coach was helpful albeit expensive and I kind of wish I could get that money back to invest in creating a website/online business now... but it's a minor regret, Im happy to be back to my more balanced eating & movement habits after a year of surgeries and physical healing and life challenges with family, moving, depression, not being able to work, my marriage challenges and well... that's all life stuff and I have more than enough patience and compassion to go around :)
Some things that stuck out about this experience with her in general is how she would say things I found irresponsible as a coach from a professional perspective, like when I expressed I was hungry on 1300-1400 calories that she said I could eat as much vegetable soup as I want -- I told her that's too much like disordered eating behaviour to me, and I need to eat, not fill my stomach with water and vegetables. I also found some of the zoom calls a bit judgemental & intolerant of how/why some people do the things they do, but I can only assume that's from ones own personal inability to put themselves in the shoes of another to comprehend their experience and instead assume everyone need to conform to her way "the right way" because "i did it so you should be able to as well" and I think most people who have known me in this community over the past 11 years know that I don't tolerate much of that nonsense, and prefer to spread the joy in finding your own way, rather than the judgement and conformity for sake of conformity :D
As well what I couldn't believe is how she posted my results on her instagram, changed my written statement about hormones (i have endometrios/cysts and inconsistent painful menstrual/hormone cycles) and she talks about "eating to balance hormones" of course she means leptin and ghrelin and is not an endocrinologist or actual hormone specialist - unfortunately she also lied about me "eating more while losing weight" when in fact I was in a 300-400 calorie deficit most days -- from average 1700-1800 calories down to 1300-1500 and hungry some of the time, and even had reactive overeating episodes and cravings which I didn't have since my old diet/restriction days. I lost 3% bodyfat, and 1.5 kg in 3 months.
But... the truth doesn't sell programs to women who are desperate for change,
I believe it is possible to achieve my goals in a sane way, and maintain consistency over a long period with the appropriate changes, but that it may be a lot slower. My entire weight journey has been slow, and steady, and at times when i hyperfocus I start to burn out on it -- balance and consistency is key, and losing weight the way you want to maintain it... that will always be the truth.
Going forward, checkins on the 16th of each month. I sometimes wonder if I could reach 65-68 kg. My original goal was from 145-75 and 75 was easy to maintain 70-75 (excepting covid lockdown when I swung up to 78-80 at 1 point) but my lowest weight - 2017-2018) was 69kg and I wonder if 65 is possible without starving. I was running daily back then and I don't really see that happening anytime soon :D
I need a break from actively trying to accomplish any body goals for the moment and will coast/maintain a while.
Diet burn out
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73.5 kg
Lost so far: 71.5 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Not Applicable.
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1700 kcal
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Fat: 60.87g | Prot: 100.59g | Carbs: 180.71g.
Breakfast: Melkunie Protein Hazelnut Macchiato, AH Mango Sticks, Lindahls Protein Milk, Great Lakes Gelatin Collagen Hydrolysate, Decaffeinated Espresso Coffee. Lunch: AH Kersen, Swiss Noir 72%, AH Biologische Halfvolle Melk. Dinner: Knorr Turkse Dürüm. Snacks/Other: Bolletje Zoute Pepsels, Fage Griekse Yoghurt Total 0%, AH Puur Chocolade Druppels, AH Melk Chocolade Druppels, Maple Syrup, Bell Plantation PB2. more...
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steady weight
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