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Is it fat? Is it muscle? Nope it’s just the water I’ve been waiting to see from the pizza I’ve had the last two days 😉. Since I’ve been ‘bad’ with my eating I decided on oatmeal for breakfast. (I don’t actually consider myself eating bad) I’ll be eating out at least 4 meals this weekend and maybe as many as 6 so I guess I’d better save up some calories if I can lol. If not then oh well. That’s the good thing about playing around with maintenance... I get to experiment with different foods and different amounts of calories! Oddly enough I’ve chooses pizza and small amounts of chocolate over my usual cravings if a full sized snickers. Maybe I’m getting rid of the cravings for huge amounts of sugar. I’d say the cough drops are giving me sugar but I bought the sugar free kind 🤷♀️.
On a personal note, the doctor put me on mood stabilizers. The first week or two my hot flashes went away! Now they are back with a vengeance lol. I thought it might be good related but I can’t find any big changes in the weeks they were gone. Emotionally I was angry and ready to lay the smack down on some in-laws but that’s the usual feelings. These meds along with the anxiety medication are helping that as well. It seems that all the stress and anxiety messed with my hormones and brain chemicals to make the depression (major depressive disorder) progress into bipolar depression.
However now I can smack them around in my head and stay calm! Still planning their ultimate fall from the public’s view of them being perfect when they are anything but and messing with the kids’ minds by showing up at things. Hopefully now that sports are almost over they’ll stay away for awhile. My kids are peaceful at events until they show up. LOTS of things coming up but it’s things they can’t go to (no public info about it, out if state etc) or things they won’t come to like spelling bee, jump2B fit... They kept texting us asking if we were coming to visit when out of town family were coming and hubby insisted we not respond as he’s told them we wouldn’t be going to see them ever. They also put it in the farm contract that we have a strictly business relationship which was unnecessary even if they had agreed to only business and no family. Who puts that in a legal contract?? Who does that while still calling and texting about us being a family? They need some mood stabilizers lol.
They changed the family meal time to 90 minutes earlier saying it’s for ‘the kids’ insinuating our kids but in reality it’s for hubbys brother that now lives 75-90 minutes away. They always change times to what is convenient for him and his family. No biggie just a fact. The family coming in canceled the trip because of 20% chance of rain they say they’d be traveling and 10% chance of snow while they would be here. Supposedly. Hubby thinks they canceled because we have them no response. Or perhaps they did come and lied to us so we wouldn’t make a scene after they showed up to a game and we snubbed them. Kids snubbed them too and were afraid to even walk in front of them thinking they’d try to grab them again and corner them in public. My kids are afraid of being publicly embarrassed by them so public embarrassment/humiliation for the in-laws seems in order. BUT I’m better than that so I probably won’t do it. But thinking of ways to do it keeps me calm and keeps me from going over there. Oddly enough there’s very little stress in these thoughts. Much less than when they start dropping by, calling or texting. Although they’ve been driving by super slow when the kids are out playing or practicing. To the point the kids come in and wait for them to leave and go back out. I’ve thought about taking the shotgun we have for coyotes and standing on the porch with it when the kids come running in to hide from them. BUT I also know my MIL can be a drama queen and she would tell everyone I threatened her at gun point lol. I don’t see how doing this would be much different than scaring my kids and having them thinking they’ll come corner the kids and maybe take them. I don’t believe they would ever take them but these are kids we are talking about. They have very good imaginations and it’s just not right to have them that worried. So I’ve told them it’s fine to run back to the house even in the middle of practice. Whatever makes them feel comfortable. Now to make them believe the in-laws won’t snatch them. The middle is fairly level headed so it surprises me form her. The oldest is a drama queen and the youngest is 4 and of course thinks all kinds of things so I’d expect it from them. Anyway, off to play some games while I plan my day! Gonna be a long weekend and need to grab some household things from the store, pick up scripts and pack. As the kids said, a short busy weekend away is better than dreading when “they” will start driving by again or bugging us.
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55.2 kg
Lost so far: 17.7 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 22 February 2019:
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1838 kcal
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Fat: 75.00g | Prot: 90.00g | Carbs: 208.00g.
Breakfast: Great Value Sugar Free Apple Cinnamon Instant Oatmeal. Lunch: Tropical Smoothie Cafe Muscle Blaster with Whey and Splenda , Tropical Smoothie Cafe Three Cheese Quesadilla with Chicken. Dinner: Freddy's Frozen Custard Single Steakburger, Freddy's Frozen Custard Fries (Regular). Snacks/Other: Fiber One 90 Calorie Cinnamon Coffee Cake. more...
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Gaining 5.1 kg a Week
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