FullaBella's Journal, 22 Aug 13

Second Journal now that I have the Rant out of the way:

I'm continuing to pay tribute to my upcoming one year anniversary by sharing more tipping points that have helped me reach this first year with a little more sanity (food related that is, the rest of life still goes on) than on previous weight loss attempts.

"Food is my Friend, I just have to choose my Friends Wisely." This was a big one for me as I mentioned yesterday I've always considered food the enemy. This single simple sentence with the author's explanation was a turning point for me. Fresh, pure, unprocessed food was my good friend. The one I could trust to come if I asked for help or needed to talk to someone. Processed food was the wild child who always returned my car on empty or called me at 2 in the morning to come post bail.

Sometimes to fully drive that concept home I would assign actual 'people' images to the foods. At the time I read the book I was in a major feud with my half sister. When the leftover macaroni & cheese started calling me from the fridge while I soaked in the tub, I just pictured her head on the bowl of pasta. Mac & Cheese instantly lost it's allure.

The other connection that had a major impact on me was from the Eat What you Love book regarding meal portion sizes. Initially I embraced that concept with all the warmth of a barbed wire fence. I would still STUFF myself on huge servings of salads and mixed vegetables to the point my stomach would hurt. Anything to ensure I wouldn't feel hungry. And I would look at the total caloric makeup to justify that I was doing the right thing. Let's face it, a 10 gallon hat full of salad for less than 300 calories? What's the problem? In my opinion, the author was all wet.

But finally one day I danced around my bathroom like Eliza Doolittle. "I've got it! I've finally got it!" By overeating, even within the realm of my RDI allowance, I was still...... over eating. I was still separating good foods from bad foods. Even though I was being mindful about dense caloric foods like cheese, chocolate and butter I would always maintain a tendency to overeat when the fits hit the shan and emotional triggers kicked in because I was keeping my body accustomed to being overfull when I ate.

The concept that my stomach is only the size of my fist helped me adapt to portion sizes, including fresh vegetable salads and believe it or not, water. I would literally drink a liter bottle of water in one sitting and spend the next hour sloshing around like a ship at sea. I now drink no more than one pint of water at a time to avoid that overfull feeling. I do that about 10 times a day but I space it out.

Working on figuring out when I really was hungry took time. To stop eating when I was no longer hungry took a lot longer. I think I'm approaching about the six month mark on that the concept and am so grateful to have been positively affected by it. I've not binged out of control because my stomach just won't take it anymore. I get that 'oh my.. I'm going to explode' almost instantly.

These two concepts combined are what helped me be able to have one slice of pizza yesterday; instead of an entire pizza I would have eaten in the past. One slice eaten slowly and mindfully with a pint of water was plenty to satisfy my hunger (as I was cleaning up the kitchen) and craving for the great smell of pizza. I did not need to have a 'tuna lunch' to avoid wanting the pizza that I knew I'd probably go have anyway. I was fine.

As always, thank you for reading.

Bella