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I spent this past weekend in Florida helping my mom tend to my dying grandmother. My grandmother is eighty-seven, and up until the first weekend in August had been hitting the gym a couple times a week, swimming, living on her own and driving a Nissan 350-Z convertible.
For a few weeks before that, I'd noticed in our weekly phone conversations that her voice would give out, and she'd say it was because she was tired. The weekend mentioned above, she had a doctor's appointment Friday, where she ended up admitting herself to the hospital.
Turns out that she was suffering a blood virus called TTP, as well as cancer.
Rewind to last October. During mass, she ended up fainting and being sent by ambulance to the hospital. The doctors at that time told her they thought she had cancer, but I'm not sure why nothing was done at that point. Not sure if the tests were inconclusive, or they couldn't find where exactly the cancer was at that point. For all I know, my grandma got sick of being poked and prodded without getting a concrete answer and said "Fuck this, I'm done". Regardless, the cancer has now spread through her entire body.
This past weekend one of her doctors advised my mom to bring grandma home via hospice, stating that if it was his mother he'd want her to be comfortable. He said that the pharesis (basically blood transfusion) treatments for the TTP were $4k a day, they left grandma drained and honestly weren't doing much good, considering that even if they'd cleared her of the TTP, there's no way at this stage to 'cure' the cancer. She's too weak to undergo chemo, and I think I'm glad for that. I'm glad that she didn't end up miserable and in enormous pain.
We moved her back to her apartment this past Monday, and I came back home the same day because I had work. Tried going in today, ended up bawling at my desk....thank God that I have a decent human of a manager, who sat me down and talked with me for a good twenty minutes before sending me home to gather myself.
So now it's a waiting game. Talked to mom this morning, and while grandma was talking and eating when I was there, she's no longer communicating verbally, nor is she eating. Mom doesn't think my brother (who's flying down this coming Saturday) will make it in time. I told her she can't waste energy worrying on things she has no control over.
Diet has suffered because of this. Overstressed, trying to stay strong to support mom in her endeavor to be with grandma until the end, eating like crap and not getting enough restful sleep. Period on top of all that, too. Haven't weighed since Friday, won't end up weighing until the weekend to start getting back on track. The boyfriend has been extremely helpful guilting me into getting up to go to the gym in the mornings (not even joking, without his gentle nudging through comments, I doubt I'd be moving in the morning).
Happy Wednesday.
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1871 kcal
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Fat: 50.03g | Prot: 80.61g | Carbs: 230.97g.
Breakfast: Wegmans Thin Shaved Oven Roasted Turkey Breast, Wegmans Frozen Mixed Berries, Nishiki Premium Sticky Rice. Lunch: Bertman Original Ball Park Mustard, Ketchup, Happy Farms Swiss Cheese Slices, Giant Eagle Hamburger Buns, Ball Park Beef Frank. Dinner: condensed milk, baby bella mushrooms, Kraft sharp cheddar shredded, Premium Sticky Rice, campbell condensed mushroom soup, Chicken Breast. Snacks/Other: Mountain Dew Voltage, Stolichnaya Vodka. more...
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2162 kcal
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Exercise:
Driving - 25 minutes, Ski Machine - 20 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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