FullaBella's Journal, 24 Jun 13

Monday and I am very tired but at least the sun is shining. Of course the sun is shining; I finally had the windshield wipers replaced so we'll probably go through the worst drought in history. Small price to pay though.

The trade show weekend and night away from home went okay; did better than I'd anticipated financially and didn't have to bail out the grandson or leave him on the side of the road.

I spent most of yesterday outside working on my yard and grilling. Nice day but I'm a little sore. In the evening I pulled a few storage boxes into the living room; items that have been packed since we moved eight years ago. Memory lane for us.

The Refrigerator Reform Act continues and still requires focus to not absentmindedly return to old habits. Just as it took effort to stop eating on a schedule or over eating, it's taking time to not over feed the fridge.

Last Sunday I'd cleared out the rest of the questionable leftovers and wilted produce but the sight of the empty glass shelves and drawers freaked me out so badly I pulled more leftovers out of the freezer to place in the fridge and filled the bottom shelf with bottled water. I figured if 'water' is good for me, it's good for the fridge.

It's taking adjustment and thought for sure but the realization that I spent about 25% last week of what I normally spend grocery shopping is encouraging. Make no mistake; no one has starved. In fact, I grilled dinner for everyone (six people instead of two) twice out of that 25%and I haven't served a 'family meal' in a year. I'm thinking of putting the cash difference into a 'reward jar' to see how it adds up.

I like the direction this has taken. When I first began eating healthy I filled the fridge with (more than) plenty of fresh food to stave off any 'slips' or 'excuses' when hunger, cravings or emotions came around so that I didn't resort to junk food or flashing the bat signal in the sky for pizza delivery. I will probably always keep a beef, pork, poultry and vegetable in the freezer for that random night I do not feel like or have the time to walk to the store with the reminder that thawing in the microwave is still faster than delivery.

But the other night was really .. for lack of a better word... nice. I had no leftovers in the fridge nor anything thawed and the husband asked for (takeout). I answered 'ooookay'....in response to my lingering reply he asked 'what did you have in mind?' I answered 'oh, I thought I'd walk to the market, see what's fresh, and grill something.' Dinner was a grilled spareribs with fresh homemade bowtie pasta salad and baked beans. Yesterday was grilled chicken and another homemade pasta salad. Five rave reviews.

I was relieved to hear 'way better than (takeout) would have been... I just wanted to save you the work.' He never calculates the time it would have taken me to DRIVE to and from (thetakeoutplace) plus the WAIT as it doesn't seem to matter WHEN I go there it's always TWENTY MINUTES until a fresh batch is done. I was able to a put a nice homemade meal out in the same amount of time. Color me egotistical but a better meal.

Eating this weekend while away went very well. I reflected on the previous weekend away in a few months ago when I loaded my 'lunch box' like I was going away for a month. Again, all in 'preparation defense' for temptation or hunger. And, of course, because it was there, I ate it.

This time, not so.

Dinner while away: mexican food - out dated menu so no fresh ceviche or similar type foods I've grown to prefer - but I was still fine. I remember a time when I would eat a whole basket of chips with salsa and still and wipe the plate clean of fajitas with probably 4-5 flour tortillas.

This time, not so.

I continue to handle the 'not logging my food' well and still I feel I just don't eat as much when I'm not portioning out food and predetermining fitting the calories into my RDI.

I am recognizing that when I eat a large amount of food at one setting, I'm not as hungry later or the next day. It's really balancing out.

On days when I do want to eat my face off for reasons other than hunger I keep a conscious running awareness of the caloric makeup to keep things manageable until I get back in charge.

And that's about it. I'm sorry I missed all of your journals this weekend; I will try to catch up this week. Hope you all had a good time and are doing well.

Bella