kitty-eared-girl's Journal, 26 Jul 19

My depression is pretty strong today. Thankfully, I’m aware of the driving forces – August (well, actually starting this weekend) is going to be crazy busy with various activities and travel, which goes hand-in-hand with financial concerns (still able to pay all my bills, but after everything is said and done I’m pretty broke beyond the essentials). That being said, I’m okay with not having extraneous spending for a while, as the big trip is coming up – we’re heading to Japan for a few weeks, which, to me, is worth missing movies and other local activities that cost money.

Someone brought donuts in to work today, and I was pretty good at dodging those – to be honest, the last few donuts I’ve had were just mediocre, totally not worth the calories.

Harder to dodge (yet so far so good) is the vending machine in the break room. Chocolate sounds like a good idea right about now, but I know that’s my emotional eating talking. Rather than give in, I opted for the extra broccoli I brought in as a snack. Planning to either walk the neighborhood or hit the gym after work (deciding factor will be how hot it is once I leave work).

I’m afraid to weigh-in, too. While I’ve been making small steps in the right direction, and my clothes still fit the same, I feel like I look heavy in the mirror...we'll see if I can bring myself to do it in the next 24 hours.

I’m starting to wonder if I’ll always “look fat” to myself, no matter how much weight I lose. I grew up feeling like the fat friend in my group, and I’m not sure if it’s a feeling I can reverse.

View Diet Calendar, 26 July 2019:
1149 kcal Fat: 31.16g | Prot: 60.20g | Carbs: 145.95g.   Breakfast: Sara Lee 45 Calories & Delightful 100% Whole Wheat with Honey Bread, Honey, Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter. Lunch: Hillshire Farm Deli Select Honey Roasted Turkey Breast, Bertman's Original Ballpark Mustard, Sara Lee 45 Calories & Delightful 100% Whole Wheat with Honey Bread, Birds Eye Steamfresh Broccoli. Dinner: Sticky Fingers Carolina Classic Barbecue Sauce, Knorr Pasta Sides - Butter & Herb, Wegmans Boneless Center Cut Pork Chops. Snacks/Other: Sunshine Cheez-It Colby Crackers, Cracker Barrel Asiago Cheese Slices, Birds Eye Steamfresh Broccoli. more...

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Comments 
Feel your pain. I'll be thinkin' about ya. But... JAPAN! Goals. 
29 Jul 19 by member: QuirkyNat

     
 

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