|
After the long talk I had outloud yesterday while driving alone, my introspective thinking continues. I read posts here where FS members want the weight loss 'fast, now' and I definitely can identify but for the first time in my life, I am not going for the 'fast & now'. I've been there, done that, and it didn't last. My analogy is that it is much like putting a jigsaw puzzle together too quickly. For me, whatever it really is that is wrong with me that I'm not able to control my eating to maintain a healthy weight.. until I fix THAT as well as fixing the way I've lost the weight in the past, well, I know it won't last. So the slower I take it, the more time I have to reflect and think about the puzzle instead of jamming the wrong pieces in the wrong place.
Like, I felt i had to write the JE while still in the glow of being happy that I'd survived 'over eating' for the morning but last night was a HUGE challenge. I felt hungry. I wanted to eat. And all of my little tricks just weren't happening. However, entering every single thing I ate into my FS food journal helped me recognize how close I was getting to my RDI max. I think I finished out 100% on the nose.
So learning from my history, if the weight comes off too fast, I'll not be prepared to deal with the 'skinny me' and I'll fail as I did in the past. Taking food and my weight loss achievement for granted. Eating all those things I denied myself for months because I'm thin so it's ok. Not keeping up the good habits. And not paying attention at that first 5lb weight gain and addressing it RIGHT then.
One of the reasons I think I've failed in the past is just pure BOREDOM. I get tired of seeking healthy recipes and alternatives to junk food or fast food or the time it takes to chop, dice and grill vs phoning the Pizza Hut guy. In all reality, waiting 30 mins for him is about the same time that it would take me to make myself a nice healthy meal but doesn't seem that way when all I did was 'click & order' and then SNACK the entire time I'm waiting for the pizza.
Now,, this is only 2 months in,so I know it's still the honeymoon period for me. I hear the voice in my head ask 'sure, you enjoy the chopping and prep right now ... especially because it gives you time to sip a hot cup of broth or drink another tall glass of water and get your appetite under control before you start eating but how are you goin to feel about this in ... six months? Or a year? Or ... SIX YEARS because you know very well if you stop, if you think you can go back to the old bad habit eating, well, you'll put all the weight back on. So what are you gonna do then, kidddo?"
And that voice is right. Some nights already, even though I over come the feeling (SO FAR) I do get tired of the prep work it takes to make a nice healthy meal. I always fix my husbands meals first and he's often finished eating while I'm still preparing my meal. So when I sit down to start eating, alone, I actually feel conspicuous. Esp when I have a HUGE bowl of food. Sure, it's a huge salad of fresh vegetables with low fat dressing and the caloric content is 1/10 of that 'smaller more concise cheeseburger' he just ate but he looks at me like 'yeah, some diet... you chowhound.' And I just don't see that he's paying attention when I try to explain the 'healthy difference of quality vs quantity and blah blah' because his eyes start glazing so I stop wasting my breath.
So ONE of the things I think I'm going to do is work very hard every day to continue putting myself EQUAL with rest of the world. SURE those already chopped veggies in the produce aisle cost more than hand chopping it but now and then, I'm worth it. It will help me stave off those nights when I'm tired.OR at the very least, those evenings when I'm late AND hungry. Help me stay committed under strenuous situations.
Maybe even, by then, our little back water country bumpkin town will have more than 2 grocery stores.... dare I dream of a day when I live close enough to a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's? I love those stores.
And why? Because as my signature motto reads... I have to remember food IS my friend. So with more stores, more choices, hopefully I can NOT grow bored and tired of the same old foods to the point I give up.
It may be silly but right now, I equate food to people. Certain foods are associated with people I don't like because they aren't good for me. My enemies are carbs so people I recall with bad feelings are assigned to MacNCheese, Pizza, etc. People I remember fondly are fresh vegetables and nourishing meals.
But in this day of fast food, fast everything, and knowing my history of getting bored so easily... I think of food and how easy it will be to get bored. So it would be nice to have a 'cool, variety but still healthy' grocery store around that I can shop when the current meals get boring.
View Diet Calendar, 25 October 2012:
|
1381 kcal
|
Fat: 37.29g | Prot: 97.50g | Carbs: 202.91g.
Breakfast: flax, coffee, lite fat free yoplait, quaker oatmeal. Lunch: spinach, Turnips & Tomatoes, chicken. Dinner: salad, Cucumber (with Peel), kosher pickle spear, broth, grape tomato, salad dressing, brussel, chicken. Snacks/Other: fiber one , balance yogurt honey bar, Nonfat Strawberry Greek Yogur. more...
|
|
3048 kcal
|
Exercise:
Sitting - 6 hours, Resting - 10 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
|
|