gilliansings's Journal

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22 July 2014

Just needing some positive thoughts from out there...I am experiencing upper spine pain, weakness and numbness. This is the third time this month. Before that, it had only happened twice in the last 4 years. I saw my doctor about it 4 years ago, but we both agreed there was little point in doing an MRI to check for another herniated disk, as the L4-5 one that was diagnosed 11 years ago didn't respond very well to therapy and eventual surgery. Why go down that road again?

Anyway, these last few flare-ups were brought on by pretty harmless stuff. Once by a bit too much sewing. The next time after working out with light weights. This time, who the heck knows? I got my first iPhone Sunday, so I guess it could have been too much fiddling with it.

I worked yesterday and by the time I got home my lower back hurt (as usual) and my right shoulder, arm, and wrist were killing me (phantom, nerve-related pain). I called my employer to warn them that I needed to stay out tomorrow (Tuesday) to rest it. I got the most ridiculous response - "Please provide a doctors note or your employment file will have a warning put in it." I told them that in the past my doctor has filled out Federal Medical Leave Act paper work to protect me and my job when I have these periodic absences due to a well-established illness. She said they only use it to put you on extended medical leave.

I explained that yes, that was the normal use for it, but it can also be utilized to protect both them and me in situations exactly like what I am currently experiencing. She was very snippy with me as she said that they wouldn't do something like that, so I needed to get a doctors note.

I calmly explained that if I was even able to get in on such short notice, just the effort of driving to the doctor, waiting in a lobby, and eventually seeing the doctor, only to drive home again with no solution to my pain...that would just cause me to need to be out an EXTRA day!

She really didn't care. Ironic, since when I applied for the job I told them I needed to work no more than 3 days a week, no more than 12-16 hours per week. From the get-go, they have pushed the envelope on that. Because most of their employees want as many hours as possible, I am one of the few that is always at or below 20 hours, so I get pestered more than almost anyone else!

I had the perfect M-W-F client, but then they added my current client on. Then, her other caregiver gave notice and they encouraged me to take over 5 days a week. Since it is only 4-hours per day, it seemed doable. I still don't like that I never get a day in the middle to recover if I'm having a tough time with my back.

So, that's why about once a month I need one day off during the week. They have a lot of trouble filling this particular position because it is in a rural area over an hour from their offices. You'd think they would value me a little more and try to be more flexible.

I spent two hours last night scrolling through the local online newspaper want-ads, as well as Craigslist. I saved 4 possibilities. I went on my old clinic's website and found an every-other-weekend posting for Sat-Sun, 10-7 as a nurse in Urgent Care. I applied right away!

Please pray for me that they at least call me this time. Since my original injury happened while working for them, they have been a bit dubious in the past. I am hoping that when they see I've been at the same job for 18 months, working approximately half-time, that they will have more confidence in me than in the recent past.

I am trying really hard not to get demoralized by this latest physical challenge. I had trouble opening the dog food this morning, as well as carrying a plate to the table. It's not something I'm very used to, since I've primarily dealt with low back issues.

Thinking positive thoughts myself as much as possible.

Thanks for listening!

(11 comments)

21 July 2014

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.0 kg	10.2 kg	3.4 kg	Reasonably Well

(1 comment) Losing 0.2 kg a Week

18 July 2014

I am feeling a bit down and overwhelmed. I've probably mentioned that my daughter is moving 12 hours away soon. Her husband needs to finish his degree. I will miss my daughter and grandsons tremendously.

They were going to move the first week of September, but my SIL needs to start his new job sooner than that, so now they are moving on August 15th. My grandsons turn one and three in September and we were already planning to do their joint party a bit early. Now we have to do it on August 9th.

I haven't seen as much of my daughter and grandsons since they moved in with her in-laws in May. I have babysat a couple times here at my house and finally saw my daughter for the 4th. She is dragging, tired all the time. Packing is exhausting, as is living in a two-story house. They can do almost everything in the downstairs apartment, but all meal preparation takes place upstairs. So, when my daughter comes over here, she depends on me a lot.

I have been tired myself, working more than usual. With my back pain really acting up, it's been challenging to not over-do it. I haven't been able to work out as much as I'd like. When I do, it feels like I'm starting all over again.

I took my sons to a nice lake last Saturday and my daughter joined us. I wore myself out playing with them and helping my daughter.

This morning, I joined my daughter and elder grandson for his last swim lesson. He wasn't really feeling it this morning and I was trying not to be frustrated that I'd gotten up early on my one day to sleep in, just to see him do his lesson.

On the way home from the lesson, my daughter told me that she has been VERY exhausted, nauseous, with diminished appetite. I told her I thought it was the stress of the move. She has felt that way on and off for the last three years, lol.

Well, I went to work and when my shift was over, she called me saying "Mom, I'm dying..." I knew she was exaggerating a bit, but imagine my surprise when she told me she had just returned from seeing the doctor and SHE HAS MONO!!!

With only a little more than three weeks until they move, there is just so much on her plate right now. Now I am conflicted because I have seen her twice in the last 5 days, when she was likely contagious. She is going to need more help than ever now, but I already know how exhausted I get helping her under NORMAL circumstances. And, if I overdo it, aren't I risking compromising my own immune system and possibly coming down with Mono as well?

But, of course, I need to spend time with her and the boys one way or the other as these are the last weeks I'm going to get with them for a long time.

I'm just so sad, tired, and conflicted.

(9 comments)

14 July 2014

Nice. I credit finally going back to my previously successful strategy of having at least two days a week in the 1100s, with the remaining days being 1300-1500.

I had a nice day at the lake with all three of my children and my grandsons on Saturday. I got a lot of exercise, which was a nice bonus.

Yesterday I did nothing but housework and sewing/crafting. A good friend is having a late-in-life baby (her first) and I bought fabric for a blanket and burp clothes. I finished them all yesterday.

Yay for learning to say "NO!" It took three separate conversations to decline those additional shifts this week, lol. I guess it's not enough to learn to say "NO" - you have to learn to say it repeatedly!

We had thunder and lightning yesterday, which made for a respite from the heat. This whole week is supposed to be in the high-90s. Not my scene, lol. I'll be hiding inside with the A/C.

Have a great week, everyone!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.2 kg	10.0 kg	3.6 kg	Reasonably Well

(3 comments) Losing 0.5 kg a Week

08 July 2014

I'm relieved to finally be moving down, albeit slowly. I know from reading other people's journals that this isn't all that unusual, but you start to feel like it's never going to end.

The heat saps my energy and I've been working too much again. Yeah, trouble saying "NO." After this week, work will be back to normal. I started a new workout (off YouTube) that really kicked my fanny. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to continue with it. It feels great to challenge myself and use different muscles, but if I still feel it 3 days later and just in the back of my left calf, then I'm dealing with my longstanding spinal issues. I try not to immediately veto things that exacerbate my back issues, as long as I can still function.

So, I'll give it another go tonight. Here's to being able to do an additional set by next week. The video has you doing four sets of 7 separate exercises and I was only able to survive TWO sets, lol.

Have a good Tuesday.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.7 kg	9.5 kg	4.1 kg	Reasonably Well

(8 comments) Losing 0.3 kg a Week

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