fitforever's Journal

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03 February 2021

all the emotions. over COVID. tired, irritable and impatient with the kids. I hate that. grateful that my mom could sense my cry for help. she arranged to take the kids to ight even though it's against the "rules". I seriously feel like I'm about to snap. walking routine out the window, although I got out for 20 minutes today, it was bone chilling even though warmer than recent days. I just loosing resilience in a few areas. positives? kids are with loving warm grandparents tonight, got the house to myself, school is working with me to address DS learning issues, psych appointment in morning, about to finish my 8th book for 2021, got a swim in on Tuesday, weight still under 170. just imagine if my sleep improves and I get consistent with walking. it's not all bad....but I am ready for this dark cloud to pass.

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.7 kg	1.3 kg	10.1 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Gaining 0.1 kg a Week

16 January 2021

Unexpected weight loss. Keto isn't for me, though reducing carbs would definitely serve me well. I feel as though I've been able to curb my sweet tooth in recent months, which I am grateful for as othing inspires the compulsion to binge more than sweets. Random thoughts at 1:45pm. 1. I need counselling. Nothing to do with weight or food, but I've become more aware of some undiagnosed mental health issuesthat more than likely play some role in why I shot up in weight over the last 2-3 years. 2. I am in most ways content, but still unhappy if that means anything. I need to find inspiration the hamster wheel is draining my soul. I need to push myself to achieve something for me. I need my kids to have something to admire. 3. lost weight on day 1 of my period.Weird. 4. The word mediocre haunts me.i just want one part of my life to be excellent. I have a dozen past lives where this was true inany areas, but right now...5. This is heavy stuff for a fat secret blog. 6. insomnia tonight. 7. so many chores in the morning. weekends suck. weekdays suck more. 8. I need a good cry. I'm sure this looks all depressing, but I'm fine. just making observations. I'd like to feel something. a cry would be a good place to start. 9. I've read 4 books so far this year can't figure out where I stood the time from. less Netflix Maybe. 10. walking is a full fledged habit now. 11. why do I find it so hard to wear my Fitbit? 12. I'm a size 8, which is not a big size. it's the size my dad always bought for me because he refused to believe I was that much smaller than my Mom. Every coat, dress or pants he had ever bought me was too big. Now that my actual size. when I look down. I see more flab around my tummy and thighs, but I see a mostly flat stomach and a well proportioned shape. then I look at my face. I see age. I see a roundness that I associated with school teachers who drank far too much coffee and smelled faintly of cigarettes. When did I stop being young? I think I want to lose weight, only to be able to recognize the woman in the mirror again. The woman I am now is a stranger to me in more ways than one .

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.5 kg	1.5 kg	9.8 kg	Reasonably Well

(2 comments) Losing 0.8 kg a Week

05 January 2021

Don't cry for me. Last year I gained 12lbs at Christmas time. This year - 2. No. Big. Deal. I baked up a storm. Enjoyed traditional drinks and dishes from my culture. I got the kids excited about decorating dozen of little confections to give away and I only gained 2 pounds. I am very grateful. Over the break, I got out walking daily. I changed the game up from low carb to more of an intermittent fasting model, opting not to eat later than 8 pm, and delayingy breakfast until after walking and other morning responsibilities. In my opinion this is a success, because at no point over the holidays did I even feel as thought I wasaking sacrifices. Just think what I can achieve should I decide to get serious now!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
77.7 kg	0.3 kg	11.1 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Gaining 0.2 kg a Week

23 December 2020

I don't want to completely ignore my diet and exercise over the holidays, but I've already blown it much earlier than anticipated. kids have been home since Friday. we have barely gone out, and all I have left to do for Christmas is bake! I've never seen more sugar and butter in my life. I haven't been bringing or anything crazy, but I can feel the sugar cravings coming back. I sample the goodies here and there and keep on drinking my Caribbean holiday beverages instead of water or tea. ok ow that being on my period has compounded the challenge but nervous that I will quickly lose all the progress I've made. if I'm honest with myself, I know that I won't stock to a low carb diet between now and boxing day. I can probably try again from then until New Year's Eve and then really commit again in January. I find fall and early winter to be the toughest with All the birthdays and anniversaries around here
Add the kids' Halloween and a month of Christmas prep, and it's a recipe for disaster. I have to remember that I've already best the odds. I've lost nearly 10 pounds during this crazy time. So I know I can do itonce Christmas is over. I'm not weighing in until my period is done.Who knows,aybe I haven't even gained anything..Still feel like crap though.

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20 December 2020

I haven't wanted to weigh in due to menses. I gain 3 to 5 lbs on average. So, imagine my surprise when I discover I'm holding steady! Even crazier is that I stood on my scale in the evening and fully dressed (which isn't my usual thing. I'm hoping I can go easy on the holiday treats just long enough to see what actually going on here 😉

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
77.2 kg	0.8 kg	10.5 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Gaining 0.2 kg a Week

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