writingwyo's Journal, 17 Mar 23

It's hard to believe I'm 20 years older in the picture on the right, isn't it? I found this photo of me at my heaviest. 70 pounds heavier, as a matter of fact.

I was up against a lot at the time. I had hypothyroidism (which would eventually become thyroid cancer), but the doctors wouldn't medicate me because I kept testing in "normal" range. Note to others with hypothyroidism: if they're treating to the test instead of to your symptoms, it's time to advocate for yourself. I was on lithium, which had stopped my suicidal thoughts, but packed on weight. If you've never experienced lithium lethargy, it's debilitating.

That said, I was in denial. I thought I was just a little overweight, when I had a BMI of at least 34. I had myself convinced that I was big framed when I'm really, really not. I thought I was eating well, when I wasn't... and I was eating way, way too much. On top of all of that, I was drinking heavily and almost completely inactive.

Some things in my life changed that helped me -- notably, getting down to a proper TSH (they actually ran it a little low after the cancer, but they've adjusted it back now) and getting onto psych meds that didn't cause lethargy, cravings, and weight gain. Still, I've changed a lot in my life.

FS is a valuable tool for me, because it helps keep me from living in denial. When I track honestly, I can see what things are out of control, what portions are reasonable. After a break, I've returned to tracking for a while, because portion control is always going to be a challenge for me after a lifetime with a poor relationship with food.

I feel so much better today than I did then. I am so much healthier. I would really encourage all of you to keep focusing on your health and keep at it, and know that this is for life.

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1823 kcal

Fat: 56.62g | Prot: 93.64g | Carbs: 255.09g.   Breakfast: Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Date, Pecan Nuts , Sourdough bread. Lunch: Figs , Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers - Gluten Free, San-J Thai Peanut Sauce, Cooked Lentils (Fat Not Added in Cooking), Spectrum Chia Seeds, Daisy Low Fat 2% Small Curd Cottage Cheese, Cucumber (with Peel) , Green Peas (Frozen) , Carrots , Beets (Drained Solids, Canned) , Cos or Romaine Lettuce . Dinner: Sourdough bread, Sweet Potato (Without Skin, Cooked, Boiled), Spaghetti/Marinara Pasta Sauce , Vegan Italian Seitan Meatballs, Dry Sweet Whey. Snacks/Other: Wonderful Roasted, Salted & Shelled Pistachios, Hershey's Special Dark Nuggets with Almonds, Seapoint Farms Dry Roasted Edamame - Lightly Salted, Blueberries , Cuties Mandarin Orange. more...